The appearance of the second baby is a great joy
for parents and a lot of stress for an older child. Often he
begins to act up, become obstinate, demand heightened
attention. And the firstborn can be understood, because now he has to
share parental care with a brother or sister. how
prevent child jealousy or at least smooth it
проявление по отношению к младшим детям?
The content of the article
- 1 Signs of child jealousy
- 2 Why are older kids jealous of younger ones?
- 2.1 how избежать ревности – ожидаем младенца вместе
- 2.2 Appearance of the youngest child in the house
- 2.3 8 important rules for communicating with children
- 3 Useful video
Signs of child jealousy
Psychologists are sure that the eldest child is experiencing a kind
�“Overthrow from the throne” when another baby appears in the family. AND
really, now you need to share toys, your own
�”Living space” and, most importantly, my mother’s love.
ANDногда ревность к младшему ребенку очевидна – старшие дети
Dolls and cars are selected, they say they do not like a new family member.
But often the little cunning ones do not demonstrate much hostility towards
baby, and only attentive parents can notice the signs
jealousy in the behavior of the firstborn.
- ANDз-за сильных переживаний у особо чувствительных деток могут
such nervous reactions as stutter, tick appear.
- Difficulty falling asleep, restless sleep, often waking up in
throughout the night, fear of the darkness that is associated with sensation
- Frequent tantrums are alarming, especially if they have not previously
- The kid refuses to previously favorite activities: walking on the street,
reading fairy tales, watching cartoons, visiting the garden.
- Two to three year old children often have regress of acquired
навыков и умений – дети снова начинают сосать соску,
refuse to go to the pot.
Why are older kids jealous of younger ones?
Before you figure out how to smooth out the manifestation of childish jealousy,
should identify those factors that contribute to the emergence
of that feeling.
- Too small or big age difference between
children. In the first case (a difference of 2-3 years) the eldest child
he needs care and of course, mother’s care and love. With what
the difference is bigger, the sharper it starts to feel uneasy and
the insecurities that arise with the advent of the infant.
- Children’s egocentrism. Older children used to
that the whole world revolves around them, consider themselves the best
and indispensable for their moms and dads. The appearance in the family of the second
the child is often perceived by them as real betrayal.
Hence the negative emotions and protest.
- Kids of the same sex or older turns
boy. It is believed that the rivalry between same-sex
children manifested especially strongly. Also, psychologists believe that
the girl is much easier to attract to care for the newborn
thanks to her innate maternal instinct and need
take care of the younger ones.
- Insufficient attention of parents. Kid
jealous mother and father, who spend all their strength and free time
на новорожденного младенца.
- Parental errors. ANDногда взрослые с
безразличием относятся к тому, что происходит между children.
It happens that the elder is relocated to another room or even
sent to the grandmother, without asking his wishes.
- ANDзменение режима. ANDногда родители изменяют
The usual routine of the day for older children, adjusting it to that
mode that is convenient for babies. No wonder that such a move
able to cause jealousy of the younger child.
The list of possible causes is far from exhaustive.
however, it is possible to conclude from it that much in the problem of children’s
jealousy depends on the correct behavior of parents and their relationship
to your children.
how избежать ревности – ожидаем младенца вместе
The child, regardless of age, is able to feel the drops
mom’s mood in an “interesting position.” Psychologists
advised to talk with the firstborn in advance, to share the news about
adding to the family.
- Emphasize all the benefits of crumbs in a conversation with
older child. Tell us what they can do together in the future.
go to the park, play on the playground. In general, create
pleasant associations with the birth of the second baby.
- However, do not get carried away with the description of numerous advantages and advance
warn the child that the newborn will not be able to immediately drive with
him on a bike or play dolls. Explain to the kid that
first you need to take care of the youngest, to teach everything that he can
- All innovations and changes in children’s life should be carried out.
until the birth of the second child. Weaning, adapting to
детскому садику (подробная статья об адаптации к садику),
moving to a separate room should not make the baby feel
that he is fenced off from his mother because of the appearance of a new member
- The firstborn will be able to feel belonging to an important event,
if you bring him to buy cribs, rattles, strollers and clothes
for the baby. Ask a crumb to help with choosing a name, together
pick up a gift and draw a beautiful picture for
Appearance in the home of the youngest child
The first months after the birth of the second baby, perhaps the most
difficult for mom. She is completely occupied by the newborn and can miss
the moment of jealousy in the elder. how предотвратить эту
- Do not drive away the curious child from the baby, let him be the first
he will see a new family member and touch him by the hand. Charge
small orders for the firstborn (for example, bring a diaper) to
he could feel his worth and become mother’s
- AND в то же время не следует излишне загружать старшего малыша
caring for a newborn and forcing him to play with him without much
desires. Believe me, this rash behavior will cause crumbs
irritation and dislike for the newborn.
- Try sharing your care responsibilities.
infants and spouses (how to attract a husband to care for a child). Not
It is worth refusing the help of grandmothers (the role of grandmothers in raising
children), then you will have more time for the older child, and he
will not be jealous of the younger.
- Try not to drastically change the mode of the first child’s day.
Together with my mother classes, walking, reading a book for the night should
stay in his daily routine. If you notice a change in
behavior, take a few minutes to talk “heart to heart”.
8 important rules for communicating with children
If you could not avoid childish jealousy, and
relationships between babies are getting worse, it’s time
take control of the situation in their hands.
- Try to show the same tenderness to both children. Also
the same goes for the other relatives. Jealousy is capable
to increase several times if relatives stop noticing
firstborn, paying all attention to the baby. Spend
appropriate conversation with close surroundings.
- Remind the eldest child that the youngest member of the family
loves him and reaches out to him much more than others. Each
just emphasize the closeness of children, so as not to leave rivalry
- In the event of a conflict, do not become immediately
on the side of the younger child. Be sure to find out the reasons for the quarrel.
If the scandal occurred because of the toy, try to find her
such an application so that kids can play with a doll or a machine
- Three-year-olds begin to consider themselves to be full owners.
toys, cots, etc. So do not force the older child
share your property. Leave him the right to play
separately and do not force the crumbs of each other’s company. We read
подробно о кризисе у детей 3-х лет >>>
- В процессе ухода за новорожденным не забудьте простое
rule for all family members and relatives – give presents
both children. Jealousy for the younger will increase many times, if
older kids will be deprived of purchases and new clothes.
- Not раздражайтесь, если старший ребенок отказывает вам в помощи
or doing something wrong. Any careless word in his address
can cause anger and increase hostility to the baby.
- Remember that in cases of excessive jealousy
leave kids without parental care. Little kids don’t
always able to restrain anger, and the youngest child can get
serious injury from a senior.
- Often, older children have more and more interests,
therefore it is worthwhile to write them in different circles, taking into account their
preferences and desires. Having achieved impressive results in various
spheres of activity, they will no longer feel like rivals.
AND еще одна важная рекомендация – соблюдайте
balance in relationships with kids, do not single out one of them,
try not to compare them with each other. Not забывайте проводить
more time all together however do not interfere if they
get along great and play well together. In this case, you rather
cope with childhood jealousy and avoid associated with it
We read также:
My mum! Only mine! – or a few words about child jealousy
Children in the family compete: how to solve the problem wisely
how объяснить старшему ребёнку, что родители также
love him like the newly born junior? Children’s tips
how помочь ребёнку преодолеть ревность к младшим
brothers and sisters? Parenting. Mother’s