A close relationship with the mother laid by the child by nature, he
feels warm, heartbeat and her boundless love before
your birth. For a long time, the baby thinks mom
part of yourself, the guarantor of your own safety and comfort.
Virtually every mother knows those feelings when a small tail
runs after her everywhere, painfully reacting even to trips to the bathroom
and toilet. Бывает, что чадо не подпускает к себе никого из
близких, кроме mothers. Is this behavior normal and how to instill
child independence and confidence in relatives, we will understand
The content of the article
- 1 My mom. And who are you?
- 1.1 Attachment Development
- 1.2 Causes of hyper-attachment
- 1.3 Overcoming the problem
- 2 Консультация соц педагога Кротер Н.А.
My mum. And who are you?
A child under three years old lives and develops with the help of a mother, he
experiencing her emotions, mood.
A child up to one year learn to trust the world through a mother, choosing her
the object of his love. For happiness, the baby must not be hungry,
to be comfortable and to feel caring and reverent attitude
moms. Большая привязанность – это здоровое состояние crumbs. Anxiety
should cause the reverse feelings of the baby, which indicate
problems in mental development.
Of course, not just when the baby does not let you go for a second,
making tantrums as soon as you are out of sight. Stock up
Patience, psychologists assure that the stronger the child in the first year
life is tied to the mother, the more independent he will be after two
Often parents are worried about rejection by the baby.
relatives. Just yesterday, your child smiled at his grandmother, but
soon she meets her cry. The first months of his life a child is not
may suggest that mom can give it to a stranger.
And all those whom he does not see for more than two or three days become strangers.
automatically. The kid is still focused on mom, builds relationships with
her, and others he is not needed. It is genetically incorporated that
the baby considers only the closest ones in his environment, because life
confronts him with many strangers every day, even during
walks. A baby closer to five months can already stay with those
who lives with him constantly. And by the year agree to communicate with
nice people to him, if you make sure that they do not represent
threats. But this may not happen, since mental development
each baby individually.
Newborn babies can communicate with anyone positively.
tuned person. Of course, they reach for mom, but feelings
fears other people still do not cause. By half year attachment
the child to the mother grows, he distinguishes her from the masses of all people, seeking
protection. At this age, fear of strangers is formed,
By the year of the child’s affection for loved ones may vary, of course,
it does not apply to mom. A kid may suddenly change attitudes
dad, grandmother and other relatives with whom he recently closely
A child of two or three years old can both be independent and
social adaptability so move sharply on
hyper-affection. At this age, you can already talk about the reasons
such behavior and their correction.
Читаем также: Как ребенок относится к
mother, family and strangers, depending on age (from birth
up to a year)
Causes of hyper-affection
In situations where the child is very scared, or left with
unfamiliar nanny, sent to kindergarten, mom’s demand and denial
communication with others is understandable. If the child has dramatically changed his
attachment to relatives and requires communication only with the mother,
reasons should be found.
- Чрезмерная опека мамы, когда она ни на шаг не
releases the baby from himself. The child just used to always be close,
in a nasty situation, he feels insecure, seeing
danger, as in the surrounding life, and in other people.
- Потеря близкого, когда человек, который стал
close to a child due to relocation, divorce, possible
tragic events fell out of the life of a baby. Child
subconsciously projects the situation on the mother, so he has
there is a fear of losing her.
- Indifference and cruelty. If, for example, father
shows excessive rigidity in education, the baby is looking for protection from
- Conflicts, stresses, fears. If baby
there were negative emotions associated with the once
близкими ему людьми, он также будет искать защиту moms.
Overcome the problem
If the form of attachment of the baby to the mother becomes painful,
Note the following tips.
- Calm Try to avoid conflicts and
negative mood in the family. Child, как никто, остро реагирует
on the behavior of parents and people close to him. Let be ваш малыш
aware of the calmness and ease of communication with each member
- Security at home. Make it so that
the environment did not become for a kid like a minefield,
secure the house, remove dangerous objects. it позволит вашему чаду
quietly explore the space around and not hear the endless
�”Dangerous”, “not climb. ” After all, even if the beloved grandmother will be forever
reiterate about the danger, the child decides to replace her communication on my mother’s,
following the instinct of self-preservation;
- Gradual weaning. Do not sharply leave
child on relatives, if he flatly against and starts
hysterical Teach it gradually, let mom leave first on
10-15 минут, в потом увеличивайте время отсутствия, пока
the child will not understand that with other family members it is safe and
fun. The main thing is that the relatives remaining with the baby take
active participation in games, feeding, bathing, so that the child feels
caring and not bored;
- Wait. Postpone exit to work, not
send your baby to kindergarten, do not hire a nanny for a period of adaptation
crumbs. Dependence on mothers will fade, and you will be able to free up time.
for yourself, but for the time being it is not necessary to traumatize the psyche of the child;
- Return. Coming home, mom should manifest
all his tenderness towards the baby so that the child understands that
nothing has changed and mom is near.
Remember that overdoing with attention and contacts with
baby is not worth it. No need to endlessly call him when you
absented, talking on Skype with the child, being at work.
Realize your own feelings and thoughts, maybe it’s not you
Want to let go of the baby.
Be careful of the child, be patient and
are friendly. Моменты привязанности малыша проходят,
perhaps very soon you will miss the time when the crumb is so
needed your hugs and caresses. Treasure the moments spent
together, because children grow up so fast.
Читаем также: Почему ребенок плохо ведет
yourself with mom, and with others good?
Консультация соц педагога Кротер Н.А.
How to be when the child is tied and does not let go of the native
the mother does not recognize anyone and does not make contact with others
children? Some recommendations of the social teacher Kroter N.A.
- Try, first of all, to narrow the circle of communication, talking at home (on
your own, familiar and safe territory) or on a walk with one
or two children and their moms. Meet with them regularly to
your child is used to them. Do not persuade your baby
join them, let the other kids just play nearby. Let be
baby for some time watching them from the side. Gradually he
will get used to them, to their presence, and may wish to enter into
communication Stay close to him. Try to take part in the games
children in the sandbox, showing their child that these “alien” children and
adults are safe. When the fear of other people passes through
some time (week, month) you can start to gradually expand
circle of “friends.” Almost everything depends on your behavior: not
insist that the child play with the children, and especially not
persuade him to stay with strangers. Let him feel
(not in words but in deeds) that you love her and are always there. it
will give confidence and independence. Let be ваш ребенок
make sure that communication with other people is his own choice, his
will, desire, not your desire for a while
�”Free” from him and go about your business.
- Be sure to remember the rule: in no case do not scold and do not
to punish a child for not wanting to part with his mother. He is not
naughty, but looking for security. Only when mom will lead
yourself calmly, confidently and consistently baby can calm down
and begin to let go of the mother from herself, quite normally reacting to
her care and absence.
- To parting and meeting with the child easier, mothers
first you have to decide! it самое главное. Decide on
mother can go to work for a variety of reasons, but whatever
the choice was dictated, in no case reproach yourself. Good,
if your decision is approved by all family members, but even if
it has only subjective reasons, do not torture yourself
doubts and guilt feelings. Toddlers are extremely susceptible to
- Gradually accustom the child to a short-term absence
mothers. Leaving the room first for 1-2 minutes and then extending
absence time but returning before the child starts
cry. Such experiments are best done when the child is calm.
and busy with something interesting. The child must get used to the fact that
mother can leave for a while and will definitely return to him. Useful
will teach her child in advance from an early age to what is
also other women (mothers, grandmothers) and as far as possible
leave your baby during his absence.
- Before parting with the child to provide everything. You are full
determination? Perfectly! Now think over all the smallest household
details so that neither you nor the child nor the person who will be with
stay with them, did not experience unnecessary disturbances, but felt
calm and confident
- Create rituals of return. Think of family rituals
your return home so that the meeting does not turn into
The second series of homemade nightmares “Mom leaves – Mom comes.”
- Avoid excessive custody and control and violent methods.
impact. Allow the child to learn something on your own
experience and sometimes be independent and make decisions.
Enjoy the manifestation of independence, underline it. Child,
feeling his own strength and capabilities, will cease painfully
реагировать на отсутствие mothers.
- Involve your father or other family members in caring for and playing with
child, expanding the circle of communication of the child. At the same time, the mother should
give the child more attention by giving emotional contact
(affectionate glance, gentle touch, stroking, hugging), so
without it, even the constant presence of the mother is not near
satisfies the emotional needs of the child.
- Remember that daily walks in nature, outdoor games on
fresh air will be very useful for the child and will strengthen it
- Mother needs to get rid of excessive anxiety and
learn to enjoy life and your baby.
- And note: expressions with the particle “not” (“not
will pick up “,” will not offend “,” will not eat “) most often have for children
opposite meaning. As well as the words “do not touch, do not do”
encourage the child to do the opposite. Better to use in speech
such positive wordings as “good”, “good”, “loves”,
�”Like”, and the like.
Читаем также: Child не отпускает от себя
mama not a step: what to do?