What words are better not to tell children

Our children are like sponges. It is therefore very important to be
attentive and follow those words that you say to your
baby Some phrases that you have thrown by chance or in the heat of a quarrel,
can hurt and affect their self-esteem and future success. What kind
speech turns should be avoided when communicating with
a kid?

What words are better not to tell children


  • Comparison with others

Фразы: «Посмотри, как быстро Дима
buttoning a coat “; �”Polina already knows how to use the pot, and you
for some reason, no, ”“ Learn from your brother – he only brings from school
fives.

Why is this wrong?

Adults mistakenly believe that in this way they motivate
child to new achievements. But instead of supporting the child gets
doubt that parents love him. Suddenly they like it better
neighbor girl Paulina? Maybe mom loves my older brother
Dima is much stronger than me? Along with fear comes desire
revenge for a more successful “opponent”: pull the pigtail or
bang until no one sees.

We correct the error

The child develops at his own pace, according to
temperament and other personal features. Compare baby with
by himself. Get a progress log for this, where you can
write down his every success. Looking past with the child
victory, you push him to new challenges.

  • Excessive praise

Фразы: «Ты самый умный (успешный, красивый,
capable”…); �”Where Leshke to you.”

Why is this wrong?

We readily believe that you have something to praise your crumb for. The trouble
comes when you give out compliments just like that, without sufficient
grounds. First, the child can turn into a novice. BUT
secondly, the baby gets used to easy praise and becomes addicted
from the opinions of others. BUT в детском саду и школе «за красивые глазки»
do not praise.

We correct the error

Praise not the kid himself, but his behavior and real efforts.
Вместо фразы «Ты самый талантливый в детском саду»
говорите: «Ты нарисовал замечательную картину. Flowers on her like
living. “

  • Terrible predictions

Фразы: �”Not бегай – ноги переломаешь»; �”Not
ape – so stay “; �”Not будешь спать днем – не
grow up. “

Why is this wrong?

Psychologists say that the child remembers such phrases
только вторую часть: «переломаешь», «останешься», «не grow up. ”
Very soon, mom is surprised to find that her formerly lively and
the curious baby suddenly became timid and insecure. After mother’s
�”Parting words” the child makes a disappointing conclusion: in this terrible
The world of danger lurks at every turn.

We correct the error

Do not make negative predictions, and interest the child
желаемым поведением: «Если поспишь после обеда, то наберешься
сил и сможешь дольше играть в песочнице»
или «Если ты
you eat vegetables and fruits, you will become fast and agile and you will become
drive a scooter faster. ”

  • Devaluation effort

Фразы: «Ты делаешь неправильно (медленно,
carelessly …) “; �“Let me do it myself”; �”Not трогай телефон
(remote, designer …), again you break. “

Why is this wrong?

A baby is not born an artist, designer or builder.
Only practice and mistakes give him the opportunity to learn. Such
phrases you make it clear that he is clumsy and does not know how. Becoming
more mature, the child no longer wants to realize himself in the drawing
Circle or sports section. By the way, at a certain age pipsqueak
goes through a period of “I myself”, during which such phrases even
can cause a serious scandal!

We correct the error

Not only successes, but also mistakes give a child life experience and
develop self-reliance. Explain that on
ошибках учатся: �”Not получилось? Try once more”.

  • Manipulation

Фразы: «Ты меня своим поведением скоро в
you will bring a grave “; �”All the nerves exhausted me.”

Why is this wrong?

Wanting to achieve obedience or stop loud cries, the eldest
generation is actively manipulating the baby. Maybe for some
time he will calm down, frightened, as if because of his running around, mom and in
really not sick. However, this may help time, another, and
then the child will cease to take complaints seriously and on
Mom’s really bad feeling won’t pay attention.

We correct the error

In order to cope with the disobedient raid, shift his attention
to another activity. Read your favorite picture book,
play “silent”, give coloring and pencils – ways
soothe the baby set.

  • Presentation of the ultimatum

Фразы: �”Not будешь доедать кашу – не
get a cake “; �”Not уберешь за собой лего – не включу
cartoon “.

Why is this wrong?

The kid will quickly take such “barter” relations on
armament. Do not be surprised if in a few years you will hear
ультиматум: �”Not дашь кусок торта – не стану доедать кашу!»; �”I
read the book if only you buy me that
a robot! ”

We correct the error

Do not show ultimatums to your child, but put forward real ones
требования, условия, которые защищают его здоровье: «Если ты не
put on rubber boots, then you will not go for a walk. On the street
puddles.
Feel the difference. With this demand you say what
worry and take care of the baby.

We also read: Как правильно
говорить ребенку «НЕЛЬЗЯ» / 5 альтернативных вариантов
tell the child “NO”

  • Threat to fall out of love

Фразы: «Мне такой чумазый ребенок не
need “; �”Nobody likes such capricious children”; �”Not буду тебя
love, since you do not obey. “

Why is this wrong?

Слова о том, what родная мама тебя не любит, – худшее, what может
hear a little baby. Perhaps you do not invest in such
фразы негативный и угрожающий смысл, но малыш думает, what он никому
not needed, and mom’s love still needs to be earned. Positive ways
he does not know yet, but the cries and whims of parental attention
attracts very well. And do not forget about self-esteem,
which depends on the opinions of significant adults.

We correct the error

Love your child unconditionally, even when he screams, fights,
breaks the rules. Do not criticize the identity of the baby, deal with it
by act.

We also read:

  • 20 фраз, которые ни за what и никогда нельзя говорить детям –
    dangerous words that break the baby’s life
  • 5 most unfair and offensive phrases from parents who
    children can hear

Всякий раз, когда вы говорите what-то ребенку,
think for at least a second and put yourself in his place. what
would you feel hearing these words? Это простой способ понять, what
можно, а what нельзя говорить baby

Education honesty in children. Practical tips for
raising an honest child. How to foster honesty in children
— http://razvitie-krohi.ru/psihologiya-detey/kak-vospitat-chestnogo-rebenka.html

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