What to do if the child does not sharetoys?

When baby отказывается делиться своими игрушками, это
causes dissatisfaction with most parents. Adult becomes
ashamed of the behavior of their offspring, they begin to blame him,
to call it “greedy beef” and even punish. Is not it
это плохо — не делиться toys? How to bring up in a small
man generosity and respect for others?

The content of the article

  • 1 Why are children greedy?
    • 1.1 Typical mistakes of parents
  • 2 How to teach a child to share?
  • 3 Once upon a time there was a Tsarevna – Grudge!
  • 4 From the forums
  • 5 9 простых правил для родителей

rebenok ne delitsia igrushkami


Why are children greedy?

Oddly enough, but greed is the normal quality of karapuz.
At 2-3 years old, the baby often begins to say “this is mine,” “give me.” it
saddens parents. The park can often be seen as mom scolds
child for not sharing a typewriter with his
peer.

Reproaches, phrases like “you do bad things, you don’t
share “cause only tears baby. As a result, his toy
forcibly taken away and given to another. In such a situation it is strange that
Mom stands up for the protection of another child and does not realize how strong
offends her.

Psychologists explain that a two-year-old toddler wakes up
sense of self He slowly begins to realize that
he is the big world around. Everything, что ему принадлежит, малыш
perceives as part of himself. Therefore, in a situation where
someone is encroaching on his toy, the child is just protecting the borders
personal space.

If you are asked for the thing you value, you will give it away.
to another person? Does your decision affect the accusation of greed?
Of course not. Imagine what your child feels when he
forced to share something. It is important for parents to understand that toys,
which are presented to the baby, are perceived by him as personal property. is he
has the right to do with them the way he wants. Strange
it would be if someone told us that we should share with
other people with their mobile phone, wallet, computer,
favorite cup, decorations, car, or we are greedy! Sounds
ridiculous.

For a child, his personal toys are as valuable as
for us – our personal belongings. He also, like an adult, has
the right not to want to share your personal things with other people
including his family members. it право нужно и очень важно
respect.

Understanding that there is “someone else’s” comes in somewhat
later than self awareness. That is why babies are violently
guard their own toys, but calmly take them away from others
children This behavior is normal and says only
that the child develops. He just needs help to learn faster.
generosity.

We also read: Мой ребенок жадина — что
do? Fight or make peace? Causes of Childish Greed

You are struggling to teach the child not to be greedy, but he
flatly refuses to share toys on the playground, and on
Any request to share answers tantrums? В видео вместе с
psychologist Victoria Lyuborevich-Torkhova, we define five phrases,
which will help the child not to be greedy:

Typical mistakes of parents

If there are several children in a family, parents often insist that
the older ones shared with the younger ones. This approach causes jealousy in
kids Older kids begin to think that mom and dad are bigger
love them – younger brothers and sisters.

In order not to offend your own child, try to avoid
common mistakes made by parents. The following will help
regulations:

  1. Not упрекайте ребенка в жадности и плохом
    behavior. You bought toys for your baby, let him decide how to
    they come.
  2. Not отбирайте игрушку насильно, чтобы отдать
    another child. Your baby will regard this as a betrayal.
  3. Not просите прощения у мамы
    a child who is begging for something from your son or daughter. Your
    the child is not obliged to do something for others.
  4. Not разрешайте окружающим говорить, что ваш
    kid – greedy.
  5. Not заставляйте ребенка чувствовать себя
    guilty. Not стоит вызывать чувство вины у малыша из-за того, что
    crying another child. In this situation, the owner of the toy is nothing
    is to blame. But another mom just needs to explain that
    have their toys and there are strangers who belong to others
    children
  6. Not запрещайте ребенку забирать свои игрушки у
    other children, but explain that he does it without the use of force.
    If it does not work, ask the mother of the baby to take
    toy and gave you.

If you cannot do without notations, do not judge the child, but his
behavior. The words “greedy beef” hurt the baby. Explain to him that
offending other children is bad.

The kid is strongly attached to his toys. If you will select
and defiantly pass them on to other little ones
the person will develop a painful sense of ownership. When he
grow up, he will continue to be greedy. Notкоторые психологи
claim that refusing to share a toy is a hidden children’s fear
lose mom. Moreover, she should not scold the child, because it
will cause him a serious injury.

How to teach a child to share?

deti-delyat-igrushku


Quickly to cultivate in the baby such qualities as generosity and
respect, fail. To do this, stock up outstanding
by patience. Try to explain to the baby that he has a toy.
they take not forever, but only for a while. Try these tricks:

  • Exchange. Let the baby give up his
    typewriter, and in return will receive from the neighbor boy a gun that
    he has long liked;
  • Priority. If two children have their eyes on
    one toy, set the schedule and control the game from
    start to finish: one kid plays for half an hour, the next half-hour
    second;
  • The toy is not taken away forever. Try
    bring to the consciousness of the child that the toy is not taken, and take only
    for a while, play;
  • The toy will not break. Explain to the child that
    если с любимой машинкой поиграет соседский мальчик, она
    it will not deteriorate and will return to you in one piece and
    safety;
  • With you, too, can not share. Tell that
    that other children may not share something interesting. Only about
    this needs to be said without reproach and in a positive way;
  • Sucker Punch. Offer a child
    something tasty for sharing his toy. it
    bribery, which devalues ​​the friendship. However, in a situation where both
    the kid went into a tantrum, this method might work.

If you want something from a child, talk to him gently, not
voicing claims. It often happens that just enough politely
ask the baby to give his toy. Many parents in
this situation starts to get angry and make the child do so
as they say. it выливается в громкий плач и обиду.

Tell your child what to play with other children.
more fun than alone. Offer him to share something at all.
family members: distribute each to each of the cookies, one by one. If baby
It turns out to share, be sure to praise him for his generosity, if
no – do not scold him. Read to him tales of greed, show
cartoons (below is an example of a cartoon).

Be a good example. A child learns from loved ones everything himself
the main thing, even if adults do not notice! If you are generous by
relation to their friends and parents, chances are great as the kid
will strive to share things.

Refusing to share toys is not a manifestation of greed and
bad character. it просто особенности возраста. When baby
grow up and make friends, he himself will begin to enjoy
share and share your toys with them.

We also read:

  • Should a child share toys?
  • How to raise a child generous?

Once upon a time there was a Tsarevna – Grudge!

Once there was a Tsarevna who didn’t like to share. Not
this is a royal business! And her toys, and gifts, and slide, and even
swing. Then the friends also stopped sharing with her, and stayed
The princess is completely alone, because no one wanted to play with such
greedy and harmful girl:

From the forums

Girls who advise how to behave when 3 year old
the child does not want to share toys on the street with other children immediately
as he sees that someone else is going to the sandbox collecting all his tsatski
under him in a heap, and others want to take a play, they give him and he does not
wants to share. I’m tired of explaining what to share, that kids don’t
will be friends with you and so on – does not help. With me and dad he
is divided. What to do?

>>> это период такой, не переживайте, просто
explain that you do not give and they will not give you. it ведь его личные
things – has the right not to give. My same, I taught him to change,
but just does not give, only in exchange, which is already progress)))

>>> Everythingму нужно учить, убеждать, рассказывать, в
including by example. You do not worry, your persuasion does not go
nowhere, all norms of behavior are formed gradually. Try
cartoons (eg. “We shared an orange …” and others), games invented
stories, fairy tales, about good children (what is enough for your
imagination). Learn to respond correctly (without aggression). Not всегда
you just need to “give” can, because “change”. Convince
correct, positive phrases “you will give – and they will give you.” Everything
come with time, be patient, persevere, try without
ultimatums and punishments.

>>всем мамашкам: ХВАТИТ ЛОМАТЬ СВОИХ ДЕТЕЙ!!!! Before
teach or wean something, ask a psychologist about the consequences
the future. You can only offer: when you play enough or when you
you want, let’s play another. But he should know that it is him and
no one will take it, but a mother who will support everything for him!

>>> Мне кажется нужно брать с собой такие игрушки,
which play well together – a ball, two cars to play
catch up, colored crayons (two sets) … The kid needs to understand
the beauty of the collective igry.Poka he still does not see the benefits in that
that someone is playing with his toys. I would also tell a fairy tale about
some boy (not your child’s name only) who didn’t want
sharing with anyone, and then he really needed (well, for example,
phone, call mom) And no one gave him, because they remembered,
what he was greedy. And then, for a happy ending you need to
some kind girl saved him and he understood everything and became
share with all children. I’m my Polina so many tales
пересочиняла по мере взросления))))it очень хороший метод!

9 простых правил для родителей

  1. Always be calm.
  2. In the conflict of children do not take any one side.
  3. Not берите на прогулку новые игрушки: ребенок не захочет
    share them, because I have not played enough myself.
  4. When collecting a bag, choose with your baby some extra
    a toy that will be the subject of exchange.
  5. Spend at home conversations: tell how to play well with
    friends, how interesting it is to share something with others.
  6. If you notice that the child does not want to share toys
    under what conditions, do not focus on this and do not scold
    baby. Read stories on the topic of greed, look
    cartoons.
  7. Trust the child at home to divide everything between family members:
    to distribute all of the berries, for cookies. The task will be more difficult if
    the kid will share something that is very dear to him: “Very
    yummy? Dad wants to try too. ”
  8. Praise your child for your generosity.
  9. How to teach a child to share toys? Serve personal
    example. For example, you can change with familiar moms
    books.

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