What if a child steals money fromparents: advice of a psychologist

Many families have to face child theft.
Psychologists help to understand why a child steals money and gives
Advice to parents, how to avoid repetition of theft in the future.

Child theft is a fairly common problem. AND
some families have to deal with it regularly. how
understand why a child steals money from parents and how
correctly lead adults in this difficult situation? Tips
psychologists will help parents to take the right position, to establish
relationships with children and avoid repeating theft in the future.

The content of the article

  • 1 What pushes children to steal: reasons
    • 1.1 Psychologists name several major causes of theft.
    • 1.2 How can parents “reach out” to a child?
    • 1.3 What psychologists advise
    • 1.4 Advises Elena Pervukhina
  • 2 Frequent errors that should be avoided.
    to parents
  • 3 Консультация психолога: Что делать если ребенок ворует
    money at home from parents wallet
  • 4 Право быть другим: Детское воровство. Advises
    ANDрина Mlodik

ребенок ворует деньги

Most parents once have to deal with
a situation where a child without a demand takes someone else’s thing. What if
if money is being stolen, then this news of parents is just a shock and
недоумение, они не могут понять, как такое могло случиться и
почему подобное произошло именно с их ребенком и как и
do in this case. The main thing is not only to find
correct words and explain to the child why his deed is bad and to
what consequences it may lead, but also understand why
the little man committed this act. Then they start
think about what relatives and friends will say if
will find out

Haveзнав о том, что его собственный ребенок ворует, каждый родитель
в первую очередь испытывает шок: «how же мое чадо могло так
to do? Then the adult begins to wonder why
what happened was his fault in this situation, how to punish the culprit and
what to do so that this situation does not happen again. Most
parents, especially moms, in such cases feel their guilt,
thinking that they had missed something in education, they could not explain and
convey to understanding.

First you need to calm down and try to understand
situations and understand whether the child stole for the first time or is it already
happened before, and parents just now found out about
by this. Now you need to recognize that the notion of theft in general
not applicable to children in general, because the real life and fantasy of the child
in his view are inseparable. He sometimes can not realize
that his act is so terrible.

Большое значение имеет возраст baby If he is 3-5 years old, he
just do not quite understand the difference between his and others, and his
desire to take the thing he likes is unlikely to be able to hold back. BUT
now becoming older, children begin to realize the concept
property and affiliation to anyone.

The kid can, while being a guest, take a beautiful toy or
a book just because he liked it. ANDногда дети тайком
take out something from supermarkets, for example, sweets. Baby not
can resist so many seductive things not
realizing that for all this you must first pay.

If this happened for the first time, mom or dads should explain
child the difference between his and others and the fact that all things in stores
have their price. The mistake of parents is that they scold
baby for a valuable thing, and if he takes without asking someone else’s book or
a toy, no one will even pay attention to it. Need to understand that
for a child things are not measured in monetary terms, they are to him
like or dislike

The child simply gave in to the urge to take the thing he liked. Not
more. Older children should already be clearly aware of the concepts of “their” and
�”Alien”, so in the case of theft, you should understand why
it was the child who took this step.

The task of the parents is to convey to
consciousness of the child, that other things can not be taken without asking.
Be sure to ask permission of the person to whom this thing.

What pushes children to steal: reasons

For a long time, adults may not notice the disappearance of small items or bills.
small denomination. BUT заметив однажды, списать на свою
forgetfulness, do not attach importance. Notкоторые родители предполагают
anything you want, but do not allow the blame of your favorite sons and daughters
even in thought. Therefore, the revelation of truth is literally overwhelming. Everything
secret ever becomes apparent.

The degree of well-being and prosperity of the family is not an indicator.
Child theft is observed in single-parent and complex families, where
Nobody is engaged in the child, and in completely normal, where
adults pay attention and indulge, and pocket money gives. AT
what is the reason? Why do children start stealing money from wallets and
pockets of parents?

Psychologists name several major causes of theft.

1. Desire to own a thing

ANDногда желание получить понравившуюся вещь становится таким
strong that the child cannot cope with it. Especially this
concerns babies who upon seeing that interesting toy left
unsupervised, can come up and take her away.

The task of the adult in this case is to explain to the son or daughter that
the thing does not belong to him, and its owner will be very upset, and will
cry. To prove an example, you can pick up your favorite toy
child and ask what he feels like this, you need a child
I realized what emotions arise in such situations.

2. Theft for good cause

ANDногда дети крадут деньги, но не понимают, что это плохо.
A small child can steal money to buy his gift
mom or friend It seems to him that he is doing a good deed. On
the question of where he got the money, the thief can answer what he found and
decided they were draws. AT этом случае ребенку нужно объяснить, что
even a thing lying on the road does not become the property of someone
found him.

The main thing is to teach by example. If mom or
Dad, finding something on the street, hiding it in his pocket, baby
will take it that way.

3. Earn authority among friends

Most детей стремится завоевать авторитет среди
peers (or get the location of the older guys) and often
the reason to deserve this location is to
some valuable thing. If the child does not have this thing, he can
to steal. It is necessary to explain to the child that theft never leads
to good and in this way you can not earn credibility, and spoil
свое будущее, и наоборот, стать, крайне не уважаемым

4. Haveдовлетворение своих потребностей

If a child растет в малообеспеченной семье, ему может не
grab things his friends have: fashionable clothes, gadgets,
expensive toys. A kid can steal a ball or a doll, which is
from peers, and teens steal money to secure their
needs and keep up with friends.

Parents, first of all, need to explain that theft is
always a crime. But, в то же время, нужно задуматься:
whether they provide a son or daughter not only with the necessary food and
clothes, but also some things that bring joy and give
confidence. Even junior students should be with them.
small pocket money.

5. The feeling of revenge

Children can steal in order to take revenge on their abuser.
If a peer with a sneer tells the child that he does not have the last
models of the designer or the robot and laugh at the face of other friends,
That feeling of insult can make an unseemly act.
A child will steal from his friend the object of his pride just because
to avenge the offense. Need to teach a child not
respond to the insult by stealing. Conflicts need to be addressed, not

Notice whether the child has a sense of guilt.
for the perfect deed. Not надо сразу кричать и бить малыша. Give
him a chance to redeem himself! Send it to give the item to the owner.
Let it immediately become both redemption and punishment for


6. Envy of peers

Communicating children with each other can be very cruel. AND на ребенка,
which does not have expensive toys, sneakers, phone, can begin
grave attacks. Notловкость и стыд – весомые поводы, чтобы у
parents began to disappear money from the wallet. First small
amounts, later – large bills.

ATоровство не способно решить проблему. ATзрослым нужно не
overlook, not to miss the moment and clearly explain that
impossible to have everything at once. ATажно донести до детского сознания
thoughts that a person is not worse than others if he does not have

7. “Buying” friends

AT компании ребят нередко выделяется кто-нибудь, у кого
plenty of pocket money who can treat at any time
Comrades ice cream or chips. Such a child is always in the center.
attention. Children incorrectly believe that in this way is acquired
friendship. In an effort to make friends, a child can afford
break the rules – start taking money from parents without asking.

AT силу возраста такие дети еще не понимают, что подобные
friendships end with money. Parents
should explain what real friendship is, how it is achieved
and measured.

8. Notдостаток внимания

The most paradoxical reason. When a child just wants
attract the attention of parents. That is, the stolen money is spent
for the purchase of items that adults will notice.
It turns out that in this case the desperate step of theft of children
it’s mom and dad who are pushing something up
global, or just with a head immersed in your life. howими
no matter if children are independent, they need to communicate with them – so
often as possible.

This situation is a signal for action. Parents следует
completely redefine your life and reallocate time so
образом, чтобы нашлись драгоценные часы и минуты на baby

Give ребенку понять, что склеенная им аппликация может подарить
much more emotion than stealing money and things. At the same time emotions
application will be positive, but theft will not. Explain
that you love him and notice, and if he thinks that it is not, then
is mistaken. Try to carry out with the child more time.

9. Children’s immediacy

It happens that children simply do not understand where the money comes from and
at the cost of what effort goes to adults. Money is in the wallet and
from there they all get it as needed, right?
Accordingly, the child can take and spend some amount.
It is an ordinary business. In the head of a child there is not even such a thing
like theft.

In this case, parents need to explain what labor is,
how it is paid. The best prevention of theft is to allow
child “earn” money by their own labor. Once upon a time
imagine how difficult it is in the future to think whether to take or not
take without asking what is earned by others.

Having understood the reasons pushing children to steal,
it will be easier for adults to avoid repeating such situations in
further. Knowing the answer to the “why” is easy enough to resolve the issue.
The main thing is not to close your eyes and not give up. If a child
feel permissiveness, it will not lead to anything good.
Theft from the pockets of loved ones can grow into theft from

How can parents “reach out” to a child?

At some point, parents realize that the child began to steal.
Sometimes it happens suddenly (caught hot) or
gradually, after weeks and even months (by guessing,
comparison of the facts, the appearance of “found” objects, things).
After realizing the reality, adults should take a time out.
For some time, it is just necessary to think about the situation, to search
the right way to solve the problem. In no case can not
pounce on the culprit with the charges, while also not worth it
pretend that everything is fine. The question is complicated and serious.
The recommendations of psychologists will be useful to many.

ребенок ворует деньги

What psychologists advise

  1. A responsibility. This has been taught since childhood.
    Each action is followed by a reaction, good or bad. Good
    help to develop this quality different tasks that can
    instruct the child. A good way to inculcate a sense of responsibility.
    child – to have a pet, which you need regularly
    feed, walk. The baby will start taking care of the animal, he will understand
    that he is responsible for the life of the creature.
  2. The correct installation. From the first years of life
    ребенок должен четко понимать, что брать чужое
     Understand what is good and what is bad.
    It is useful to periodically provide examples of the consequences and penalties for
    misconduct (in this case for theft).
  3. Trust communication Even if it is not, it is
    something to strive for. Best action on kids
    produce educational conversations. Calm, kindly tone of talk
    contributes to the emergence of child confidence in the parents. In such conversations
    the child can ask any questions and hear helpful answers. AND
    for adults this is also a great opportunity to get to the bottom
    pushing the child to certain actions.
  4. The concept of personal and common. Each member
    families have things that no one else can take without asking.
    The kid should understand that close people are upset if with
    valuables something happens. Child learns to understand
    the importance of things on the example of their own values. Therefore, in his
    turn, parents also have to respect personal space
  5. Understanding the feelings and emotions of others. Not
    it is worth hiding your feelings from the kid. This does not mean that in the case
    offense should be poured on the child’s psyche all the emotions. But
    each time you need to explain to the child exactly what they feel
    adults seem to worry about what they think when they discover a loss.
    It is advisable to explain possible consequences using clear examples.
    bad deeds.
  6. ATнимание к интересам baby Few of
    children do not want to do anything. Usually early or
    late, there is a desire to go to football, to dance, to
    aeromodelling, programming. Children’s interests need
    to encourage and stimulate the development of abilities. This will allow
    child to find his place in the world, to assert himself, to acquire
    friends, usefully allocate free time.
  7. Notдоступность соблазна. Often in families money
    taken to keep in mind. AND у детей возникает вполне естественное
    desire to take them without demand. It is recommended to allocate for storage
    Finance is a special place. Right when a child in a family doesn’t even
    knows exactly where the wallets are removed. The rarer the money appears in
    field of view, the less temptation, the less likely
    the occurrence of unpleasant situations.
  8. The presence of all necessary. Parents are required
    provide children with everything they need for development and maturity. it
    important and not discussed. But хотя бы иногда детей следует баловать,
    buy what they really want. AND при этом объяснять, что иногда
    family budget does not allow to realize every wish that is needed
    patience and aspiration. So the child will be able to better understand the value
    of money.
  9. Pocket money. Issuing a small amount on
    several days – the best option. Baby will learn
    control your spending, decide how much and when
    тратить, и поймет, как сложно жить совсем без of money.
  10. Понять мотивы baby Understanding of what
    prompted the child to commit theft is the way to solve the problem.
    If the idea was suggested to him by a friend, you must
    talk to the instigator’s parents.


  • 12 rules for issuing pocket money to children (personal experience). A plus
    video consultation specialists
  • Children and pocket money: how to teach a child correctly
    treat money
  • Children and money: 10 mistakes of financial education

Advises Elena Pervukhina

Common mistakes that parents should avoid

Search and study of the causes of child theft should not be
one-sided. Parents may overlook behavior errors.
themselves, while requiring the child to correct the situation.
AND воздействуя на отпрыска всеми доступными методами, взрослые могут
on the contrary, aggravate and provoke new cases in the future
theft, rudeness, disobedience. In such cases also
do without the help of experts.

You need to be strict, but without fanaticism. Awakening Feelings
guilt and shame for the perfect, make sure the child understands your
the feelings and feelings of those people from whom he stole something.
Arrange the situation so that he leaves it without humiliation, but with
a clear understanding of the wrongness of the committed act. remember, that
threats put him in a dead end.

ANDтак, to parents запрещено:

  • Put money, even small amounts, in easily accessible
  • Focus only on the learning and responsibilities of the child and
    ignore his life in society. Besides school, there is a relationship with
    peers, joy, resentment, quarrels. It is important to pay attention
    child’s relationship with friends, help solve emerging
  • Use force, raise hands on children, scream to learn
    the truth, the reason for the theft. All conversations between parents and children
    should occur in a calm tone, confidentially. Adults task
    – explain why you can not steal and what can be
  • Stealing is wrong. ANDгнорировать пропажу мелочи из
    pockets, from a shelf, from a drawer of a dresser. If there was already a fact of theft, and he
    no doubt, then it’s time to act, apply measures, somehow
    respond to what happened. AND ни в коем случае нельзя воровство
    leave unattended;
  • Tell strangers about child misconduct. Not привлекайте
    strangers, otherwise you risk not only forcing your child
    suffer, but you can even “lose” it. Notльзя обвинять
    child stealing in the presence of strangers. Family circle should
    to be clearly outlined, and there is absolutely no need to devote to
    family problems of acquaintances, colleagues and distant relatives. Have
    people who know the situation superficially may form
    wrong negative opinion about son or daughter. And a child can
    completely unnecessary complexes arise, a feeling of tightness in front
    by other people.
  • Not нужно сразу называть ребенка вором, иначе в его сознании
    this thought may be strengthened. You are not a prosecutor, no need to arrange
    trials, hold a trustful conversation with the baby.

Quite difficult for adults can be the line between
confidential conversation and many hours of morality. In most cases
the child is aware of his guilt, so do not speak to him again
and again, how wrong he is. Determining the true cause of the act, you need
find a solution to the problem, try to correct it and warn in

Children need support, even when they are completely wrong.
Intimidation, the grim prospects for living behind bars, appealing to
the police are unlikely to end up with the desired result. Without
mutual understanding between children and parents of trust communication is not
work out.

ANDзбежать инцидентов в будущем помогает именно спокойный
a conversation in which a son or daughter reveals her reasons
deeds. A stumbled little man is able to realize
correct and draw the right conclusions if parents find
the right words. Not надо ставить целью только отчитать и опозорить

Careful attitude to the surrounding objects and to the feelings of people
kindness, empathy – this is absorbed by a child from the outside world.
The best way to teach is to become an example to follow. Everything
moral values ​​are laid from childhood, when the kid is from day to day
day sees and hears mom and dad come in, talk,
solve these or other issues. If you help a child from birth
form the right impression about the world then in the process
growing up will not cause serious problems, there will be no motivation for
committing misconduct.

Haveзнав о воровстве ребенка, не стоит впадать в панику,
hysterical and rush for the belt. Calm, thoughtful behavior,
the desire to understand and forgive the child will help solve the problem and
завоевать доверие и любовь маленького человека и обеспечат вам
and your children a favorable outcome of the situation.


  • Children’s lies: why a child is lying and how to teach him to talk
    the truth
  • Top 5 reasons why a child is lying
  • Under the guise of the victim. What if the child “beats on
    a pity”

Консультация психолога: Что делать если ребенок ворует
money at home from parents wallet

Право быть другим: Детское воровство. Advises ANDрина

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