Upbringing like a puzzle

Children sometimes lead us to despair. We think, “What are they
irresponsible, soulless, they would only play and have fun! ”
We are nervous, angry, scolding them endlessly. Once we understand
that this is a vicious circle: we are increasingly moving away from them, they
withdraw from us, we cannot influence them.

deti-indigo


If we turn into an abusive parenting style, we behave
Actually, like other people’s uncles and aunts who are disgusted by the fact that
other people’s children behave ugly.

Once I realized that the whole thing was to change my
look at upbringing. Just look different – and that’s it.
quite a change.

You need to look at your communication with children not as a burden and
care, but how to … puzzle, puzzle – really breaking
head And keep in mind that this problem may not give in
for years. But instead of “Oh, horror!” You might think: “Well, let’s go with her
let’s fight! ”(But not with the problem, not with the children).

After all, if the task occurs to us in our profession, we are not
nervous and solve it. And at the same time (if the work is favorite) we undertake
for her with fervor and inspiration, and no difficulties stop
us.

Всевозможные задачи окружают us. Work, everyday life supply
us a whole lot of tasks and tasks. But we must remember that
man for thousands of years survived among the most difficult conditions and disasters
– which means that every person has an extraordinary power for
overcoming difficulties. So will we really be nervous because
that the child smears porridge on the table? ..

I look at my work tasks, make plans. This and this to me
you need to thoroughly study, to master it, to do it to
to such a date. I see some working questions for me
complex, and I estimate that for their permission I will need
several months or even years. And I share this tremendous question on
parts and every day from one of the parts (even particles)
coping.

We should not do the same for our
children?

Children are our puzzle. Children are terribly difficult and entertaining.
little problem. What do they have in their heads? Why they suddenly begin to be rude,
leave trash behind, wipe with a towel smeared with paint
hands? .. We are terrified by the number of these “why”, we are drowning in them.

Let’s take one of these tasks and look at it as
entertaining and challenging.

Of course, this task is often different from the tasks that
brings us our profession. Children not only ask us
difficult questions, but also cause our emotions – not always
positive (irritation, anger, pain, despair). And precisely emotions
often prevent us from looking at the situation with children as a task. we
get angry and stop controlling your behavior. Grumbling shouting
scold them. And this problem is not solved at all. True decision we
we substitute an instant reaction – make a comment, curse,
shame. we отреагировали (как бы исполнили свой родительский
debt in relation to children), but did not progress at all
decision.

angel-ili-demon-2


A look at the conflict situation with children as a task allows
we do not give in to emotions and react more intelligently. we не
загораемся гневом или обидой — это проходит мимо us. we находимся
in a more balanced state of thinking through – how appropriate
respond now and how can you influence such situations
later.

we постоянно обмениваемся эмоциями с детьми: чувствуем их
condition and pass on your response feelings. we считываем
undesirable behavior (rudeness, caprice), and in us in return
feelings arise (anger, resentment). Training (i.e. conscious
focus and constant exercise) allows you to learn how to reduce
negative feelings in ourselves (we do not allow ourselves to be “infected” with them,
put the “screen”) or express them correctly.

we часто не думаем о том, что воспитанию нужно учиться, как и
any other business. And the teaching effectively takes place in practice, and
not in conversations.

Look at conflicts not as a stressful situation, but as
communication training. And to learn to effectively influence in good
sense to their children we have to go through a lot of such
trainings.

Parenting sometimes causes despair because we consider ourselves
already accomplished educators and this is particularly acute.
experiencing our powerlessness and failure.

we еще не воспитатели. we учимся. we пробуем. We are given
incredibly many fascinating tasks. We have a lot of strength. we беремся
for these tasks with cheerfulness and inspiration.

we должны поддерживать в себе этот хороший азарт, который бывает
when solving a puzzle – lightness, cheerfulness, audacity, perseverance.
And then communication with our children will turn into joy and
fascinating research.

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