Unsure child: how to help a child becomemore confident

For the successful development of the psyche of the child, his abilities
it is necessary that the baby felt confident, not afraid
to express themselves, their capabilities, striving for the best, was open and
honest Uncertain adults most often grow out of uncertain

The content of the article

  • 1 Как понять, уверен ли в себе ваш ребенок
    • 1.1 Where the uncertainty comes from
  • 2 How to help your child become more confident
    • 2.1 Qualities that characterize a confident child
  • 3 Recommendations: how to raise a successful child
    an adult
  • 4 Video: How to instill confidence in yourself and your children
    can you? Parenting. Mom’s school

детская неуверенность

Self-doubt is an understated view of
own capabilities and abilities.

Self-confidence is an important quality for a child, which
indicates that he appreciates himself, is responsible for his actions,
ready to deal with life problems. The development of confidence in
baby must start at an early age. This personality trait
continues to evolve throughout life. Sure can
become any child regardless of gender and age.

Нотки неуверенности можно увидеть в чаде не сразу,
parents are not always able to recognize the situation when a child is already
help needed.

Persons who are constantly hesitant, doubting
themselves and their capabilities, they experience significant difficulties in life,
it’s harder for them to achieve meaningful success, they are constantly trying to
approval from the side, can not understand what they want.

That is why it is so important to eradicate the incipient feeling.
uncertainty in your child as soon as possible.

Как понять, уверен ли в себе ваш ребенок

Понаблюдайте и задумайтесь, как ведет себя ребенок дома, в
kindergarten or school, with peers.

If the child speaks quietly, even if it does not require
the situation, often nibbles nails, straightens clothes without visible
causes, licks his lips, then these are minor signs of indecision,
uncertainty and complexing.

Here are a few more signs of uncertain

  • ребенок отводит взгляд, когда разговаривает с
    a man;
  • пытается уйти от ответа an adult;
  • unnecessarily distrustful, irritated in the presence of others
  • often angry at outsiders;
  • боится не справиться с поручением an adult и не хочет брать на
  • afraid of difficulties and always chooses things easier;
  • panics before doing new things;
  • has a number of fears and even phobias;
  • embarrassed to meet and communicate with new people;
  • does not have his own opinion;
  • he writes and draws very finely, pressing lightly on a pencil;
  • sometimes shows aggression and behaves for no reason;
  • slouches.

Если в вашем ребенке проявляются хотя бы некоторые их
listed signs, then you should start working on
own mistakes in education and be sure to develop in the child

Often uncertain shy children are able to manifest
irritation to pets and close people.
Growing up, these children understand that they have not achieved anything in
life, demonstrate evil to others, accusing them of all

Svetlana Voitenko, child psychologist: “Self-confidence
– This is a very broad concept. Its development is promoted by positive
worldview, self-esteem, sustained self-esteem, faith in one’s
opportunities, etc. Self-confidence form, above all,
parents, proper home education. Of course, important and
relationships with peers, adults and in general school
atmosphere. If a child has problems at school, it is worth talking to
a teacher or a school psychologist. “

If the child grew up unsure, he may be inherent
such features:

  • isolation;
  • uncommunicability;
  • timidity;
  • blind imitation of a confident child;
  • difficulty in establishing contact with strangers;
  • low self-esteem;
  • lethargy, stubbornness.

Where the uncertainty comes from

The most common cause of child insecurity is nurturing and
treatment of a child in the family and its immediate environment. Even the most
sometimes loving parents make mistakes believing that they are coming to
интересах baby Consider the main factors affecting the nursery.
determination and confidence.


Parents are uncertain people themselves.

The way the parents of a baby look at the world and at different situations,
depends on his own worldview and behavior. If a child
endlessly repeating: “Better and do not fight, and suddenly you lose”, “And if
it does not work out, then “,” Do not go, otherwise it may be worse, “- then
in the understanding of the child, such standards of thinking become commonplace.
He decides that for his own safety, so as not to look
stupid, avoid losses and punishments, it’s better not to take
any business, avoid responsibility.

Indecision is not inherited, but it can be very deep
sit down in the subconscious. Kid projecting behavior and words
parents, reduces self-esteem, considers inaction the best
by choice.

We also read: как повысить самооценку
to kid

Therefore, even if you are naturally shy people,
indecisive try not manifest these your qualities not
tell the fuck that he may be defeated, because he does not
strong enough and smart. On the contrary, try to give birth in a child
initiative, striving for new things.

If parents are too self-confident, consider themselves the most
smart and skillful, do not tolerate challenging their actions, then the child
grows up unable to make independent decisions.

It is noticed that the firstborn in the family often suffer from low
self-esteem, have more problems in communicating with others than their
younger brothers and sisters. The fact is that when the house appears
first child, parents have a lot of anxiety about his
about Adult anxiety about how much they
cope with their parental responsibilities, transferred
to kid.

Constant criticism, comparison, punishment.

If you constantly criticize the child, instead of praise ignore
his achievements, condemn the choice of the baby, do not appreciate his friends, a lot
you forbid, you demand perfect fulfillment of everything for which a child
is taken, you inevitably cultivate a feeling of insecurity in it,
fear to take on any significant matter.

Breaking into a cry, often punishing the baby, you contribute to his
isolation, estrangement, kill faith in yourself and good
relationship between people. Frequent fear coupled with regular
bullying in the most negative way affects the psyche of the child.
Comparing it with others, assuring that there are stronger, smarter,
beautiful, you reduce his self-esteem. A child can easily
withdraw into their experiences and fears of being a loser, and
as a result, to stop developing normally as a person,
adulthood does not make a personal life, does not build a career,
still considering themselves unworthy and incapable.

Realization of your unfulfilled dreams, plans and

Suppose mom wanted to become a famous musician all her life, but
because of the first love abandoned music school and forever
broke up with her dream, and later with the first love. Now
the mother, without even realizing it, decided that her child was indispensable
music education, and sent the crumbs to learn to play,
for example, on the violin, not taking into account the absence of desire and desire
baby Father was insulted in childhood by strong healthy guys, and now,
he insists on boxing and martial arts for the children.

Think, choosing the path of the child through life, if you are not projecting
whether your own desires take into account your abilities, inclinations and
baby’s aspirations.

Failures in social life.

Getting into the children’s team, first kindergarten, then school,
the child learns to be aware of himself as a person, an individual, looking for
ways to interact with peers. Therefore failures and blunders in
communication, getting “in the wrong company”, mockery and ridicule of enemies,
non-reciprocal love, etc. strongly exaggerated by children
causing a sea of ​​experiences. If the family does not help to survive in time
child their problems, they can provoke the development

неуверенный ребенок

Not compliance with standards.

The world around us imposes on us a lot of stereotypes and standards.
Sensitive childish psyche is very susceptible to criticism by
about appearance, nationality, religion. Longing
becoming like everyone else erases individuality, and desire
infinitely change the appearance, hide the contrived figure flaws,
causes a lot of complexes. Without the support of loved ones, these complexes
will only grow.

In no case should not insult and humiliate the child,
letting other people do it. Tell the fuck you more often
believe him and love very much!

How to help your child become more confident

  • Do not compare. Comparison of own child
    с другими, не в плане «ой, как вы  с Леной похожи», а,
    for example, “Lena can do her homework for a long time, and you
    you will never become independent ”, or“ it’s a shame not to go to
    the pot, everyone can already, even little Petya “, lead to understated
    self-esteem chada. Let the baby realize that he is what he is and
    you appreciate it that way. You can compare it with him,
    yesterday, today. �”Today you are just fine, yesterday you did not
    everything worked out, but you tried, keep it up ”;
  • Appreciate in the child what it possesses. Behind
    the desire to grow in Chad best qualities and abilities, you
    можете не заметить, как упускаете то, что дано to kid. Have your
    baby is still ahead, he will learn everything, and to encourage and praise him
    need today, for what he already knows and strive to show you.
    Praise for small victories, because for a child they can be very
    significant. Проявляйте заинтересованность в его  делах,
    successes and failures;
  • Верьте в baby Never tell a child
    that he is stupid, ungifted, untalented. Do not drive yourself
    such thoughts, because you believe in the success of the child and wish him the best.
    Tell your child that he is special, show your own
    confidence in his success;
  • Направляйте ребенка на нужные действия, но
    When a child collects a puzzle of 50 elements,
    offer him a puzzle of 70, then of 100. If with a new
    �He doesn’t do well with the “step”, find more simple
    puzzle picture;
  • Let the child know that mom can too
    «Эхх… что же я наделала. Now придется
    start all over again. ” Tell him that you also need support:
    �“Seryozha, I now need your support so much. Give me a hug”;
  • Criticism in moderation. Do not overdo it in criticism
    always remember that the amount of praise must exceed the critical
    remarks. Never criticize a child with strangers, not
    discuss his failures;
  • Criticize not the child himself, but his behavior.
    For example, say that pinching is bad, and not that the son is bad
    boy. The second option will dramatically reduce the self-esteem of the offspring, whereas
    the first will not touch her;
  • The right to vote and choice. Let’s baby
    the opportunity to participate in building your life, listen to
    his opinion, very carefully and imperceptibly adjust his views.
    Teach your baby to express an opinion, let him sometimes argue with you, not
    destroying your credibility;
  • Set executable tasks. Do not download
    child so that he does not have time for himself, his hobby and
    friends It is also not necessary to require impracticable for the baby. «Behindпишу
    to the section, if you pull up 15 times, “” So that until the evening the whole textbook
    studied and retold “;
  • Encourage communication and friendship. Do not isolate
    a child from peers, on the contrary, invite his friends to visit,
    arrange children’s parties, go to such events
    your baby;
  • Do not compare the qualities of your character
    с качествами детей, которые бывают у вас
  • Encourage your child to play with younger
    . This will give him confidence in his abilities;
  • Talk about your feelings. Do not forget
    repeat to the child that you love him and appreciate him and him
    well-being is important to you. Teach your child to be with you
    be frank, be interested in his affairs, ask about his mood and
    feelings. Spend time to the baby, play, practice, attend
    entertainment places;
  • Do not shout and do not hit. Similar penalties
    able to kill in the baby trust, love and self-esteem;
  • Encourage your child’s initiative to overcome
    , заметьте ее и вовремя оцените;
  • Be consistent and logical.
    Control your own negative experiences that
    can result in illogical behavior. �”Did homework
    Immediately after school – bad, because I did not have time to wash the dishes, I did
    later, but managed to wash, too bad, when now you have time
  • Talk with the child heart to heart
    speak out, share sore.
    Ask him if
    he says nothing. Do it tactfully and warmly.

Qualities that characterize a confident child

  • Ability to be a leader;
  • Adequate perception of criticism;
  • Ability to protect themselves and others;
  • Emotional stability;
  • Artistry.

If you are truly a loving parent, then you
you will certainly find an approach to the child, correct it or not allow it
mistakes in education and relationships. Your love and yearning for
лучшему победят неуверенность вашего baby

We also read:

  • 12 tips on raising a self-confident child
  • 10 tips on how to teach a child to believe in himself and nothing
    to be afraid
  • How to raise and raise a child optimist?
  • How to pass the crisis periods of childhood and adolescence and
    raise a child’s confidence and independence
  • Bad advice: how to raise a child self-doubt

Recommendations: how to raise a successful adult out of a child

уверенный в себе ребенок

  1. If you want to change something in the child – start with yourself.
    Remember, children copy their parents.
  2. Praise the child for success and do not scold for failure.
  3. Tell your baby what’s good and not about what’s wrong.
  4. Make short formulas with the child like: “I
    best “,” I am successful. “
  5. Learn to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. If the baby is not
    умеет красиво петь, скажите ему: «Behindто ты отлично рисуешь!».
  6. More often, tell a little one how you love him, that you are in him
    believe it.
  7. Support all the beginnings of the child, even if they seem
    to you strange.
  8. Try to always be objective in relation to different
    поступкам своего baby

Video: How to instill confidence in yourself and your abilities in children?
Parenting. Mom’s school

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