Almost every parent sooner or later inevitably faces
a situation where a child keeps back something or “imbues”.
It is important to analyze the main points that can cause it.
cheating Children’s lies are rarely tricky: do not compare it with
professional hypocrisy of adults. The child usually does not want
harm someone or offend, can hardly consciously
pursue selfish goals. Most often his behavior speaks of
desire to avoid punishment or increase your authority in the eyes
surrounding (peers or seniors). Children’s lies can be
only fun and entertaining, but more often it indicates deep
problems that cannot be ignored. Every problem
which children’s lies hide, requires special
Psychologist Lawrence Cartner, who is the author of five books on
child psychology, identified five main reasons forcing
children resort to lying. We describe each of them.
1. Fear of punishment
Children are afraid of punishment. The problem is especially acute if
parents, for their part, want too much. For example,
raising independence in a five-year-old child require that
he cleaned his room and cleaned up after the table
food. Когда его спрашивают, сделал ли он это, ребенок
отвечает “да“, даже если на самом деле об этом забыл… Т.е.
when he forgets his duties or neglects them, he
may try to cheat. As a result, mom complains that
the child is lying, but under this lies a completely different problem –
overestimated expectations in relation to the child. Parents are not always
adequately assess the capabilities of children, and they have to
adapt to the situation; sometimes the only way to do it is
Every child would like to stand out from the crowd. �”Khvastovskie”
stories and fictional stories are all quite natural, if not
reaches a certain critical point. Child often
exaggerating their social status may try so
“escape from reality”, which causes him
discontent. Они пытаются лучше выглядеть в глазах
comrades. For example, рассказывают, что встретили рок-звезду,
famous athlete or actor, or exaggerate income
parents. If this happens rarely, do not worry about
that the child is lying: boasting and “playing supermen” for children –
The usual thing.
But if a child exaggerates his social
status, it means that he is seriously unhappy with himself. In such
situations you can find out why he feels useless or
humiliated. Maybe he does not pay attention? Maybe over it
laugh and humiliate him? The expert certainly states here.
problems with self-esteem, and the parent must find out whether the baby has everything
okay in kindergarten or school. It is possible that he did not find among
peer friends or regularly exposed to their attacks. Children’s
lies can be fun and fun, but they can also talk about
the need for psychological help.
We also read:
- Increase child self-esteem
- Unsure child: how to help your child become more confident
- 12 tips on raising a self-confident child
3. The expression of discontent. Protest
В возрасте 10-12 лет — а иногда и намного раньше — ребенок
trying to shake parental authority. In this age
для многих детей ложь – способ пойти против ограничений,
бросить вызов авторитету parents. They feel that more
There is no need to tell about everything to parents. In such situations, children
they can even accept innocent issues with bayonets, leaving them in every possible way
from the answers, or by telling a frank and obvious lie. Special
acute problem arises from moms and dads seeking strictly
control every step of your child Therefore, children can
to lie in response to a question that is perceived as a manifestation
parental authority and pressure.
4. Establishing personal boundaries
The desire for self-sufficiency is adjacent to the item described above.
Parents should not forget that a child is even a small one,
but a person who has a need for personal – that will not
directly controlled by parents: talking to friends,
Over-custody can lead to discontent and
rudeness, and subsequently – to frank deception. Not worth it
require a strict report from the child about each step: try
learn about his life in the format of a friendly conversation – it will allow a little
smooth the situation.
As they get older, the child begins to feel the importance of
independence, privacy and personal space. And the more
parents try to take care of him and control, the more the child
lying or keeping back. Often the children are also rude.
emphasizing the desire to be alone with yourself.
“Where are you going?” – “Nowhere.” “What are you doing?” – “Nothing.” “Who
is it? “-“ You don’t know him. ”
5. Family problems
Do not rush to fold the blame from your shoulders: most often lies with
стороны ребенка говорит о доле вины parents. It can be either
mistake in parenting either causing the child heartache.
Common situation: family members continuously swear between
that can not but reflect on the extremely sensitive perceiving
every little thing baby.
When a child lies too much, it is a sign that something in the family
not this way. Special это касается тех случаев, когда к вранью
thievery and vandalism are added. If the victims of children’s dirty tricks
other family members become, it deserves special attention –
often this is a gesture of despair, a cry for help, much more
expressive than words.
Often this happens with children whose parents think about
divorce. Arrange a theft or spoil the parent thing – often
these kinds of actions hide an attempt to force parents
unite again, at least for a while. This motivation is not
recognized by the child, but his actions clearly speak of his
We also read:
- Children’s ложь: почему ребенок врет и как научить его говорить
- How to raise an honest child
- When a child’s fantasies become dangerous
Children’s ложь: хорошо или плохо?
About what a child’s lie can mean and what it is
different from fantasy, says a practitioner for children
psychologist A.V. Sorin: