The sneaky child: why is this happening and whatdo this?

«Ябедничать – очень плохо!» – отвечают взрослые
on many children’s complaints, often not fully listening
child or interrupting him in mid-sentence. Or maybe the baby just wants
tell you what happened to mom or teacher took
wise decision: punish the culprit, resolve the conflict or
explained why other people did wrong. Hasty
hanging the label “sneak” will lead to the fact that children do
stop sharing their experiences. How to respond to
snagging and where does the line between the “denunciation” and the desire
to restore justice?

The content of the article

  • 1 Do not tease, but …
    • 1.1 Causes of “true” sneering
    • 1.2 How to re-educate a little sneak?
  • 2 Video: What if the child is a sneak? Tips


Not teasing, but …

  • Little age. If the child is under five years old
    it’s still early to talk about sabotage. Baby simply informs
    significant adults about what is happening around. By virtue of concreteness
    thinking he can assess the actions of other people, looking only at
    parental response. �“Misha is riding a bicycle again, and
    now it’s my turn! ”- with a similar phrase the child tries to convey to
    you two thoughts at once: talk about bad behavior and clarify, on
    did Misha really do badly?
  • Waiting for help. Another boy took away from
    your son’s shoulder blade, and he can’t (or hesitate) ask his
    the toy is back and forced to sit without it. In this case,
    telling me that “Lyonya doesn’t let me play in the sand”
    snitches, and draws your attention to his problems and asks about
  • Sense of justice. For children with
    a keen sense of justice is very important rules. They themselves
    observe them unquestioningly and want others to do exactly that
    same In the kindergarten, such a child is sure to fit in the teacher and
    tells: “Katya and Lena picked flowers in a flowerbed, although you forbade
    to tear them. ” True, first he himself will require girls to behave
    according to the rules.

Causes of “true” sneering

Starting at the age of five, children may already be teasing
consciously, with a well-defined goal: to cause unpleasant
implications for another person. What are the reasons for this


  1. Perhaps the child believes that such “collaboration” with
    adults will help him become a leader in the team. He thinks that
    parents or caregiver with whom he will bring important information
    will be considered with his opinion.
  2. Often children sneak off and convey to their peers or brothers from
    feelings of revenge or resentment. In a situation like this, it is already possible
    manipulating parents using false denunciations to allow another
    the child was punished.
  3. Increased children’s slander can cause jealousy or
    envy. This is often the case in families where one son
    parents pay much more attention than others. Unloved
    the child is trying to defame the favorite in the eyes of mom or dad.
  4. Children with low self-esteem often feel that they are worse.
    others. After all, because of this, as they believe, adults give them
    too little attention. Through teasing a child wants to show
    parents or teacher: “Look, I’m better than others, because I help
    you restore order, and the rest just indulge. “

How to re-educate a little sneak?

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If other children decide that your child is a sneak, it can
lead to loss of friends or difficulties in establishing relationships
with peers. Who wants to be friends with the man who
tells adults about any of their actions? Also classmates
can come up with a child insulting nickname, for example, spy, snitch
or scammer. Agree that such nicknames zadut children
feelings and stale teenage reputation.


What do worried parents do that fear that their
the child grows malicious sneak?

  • Explain the difference between snitch and important
    by message

Be sure to tell the child about any misconduct and violations
rules should be told to adults – for example, your own
safety or the safety of other children. If the child saw
that the boys from the group are trying to climb over the children’s fence
garden, or heard that the girls in the yard decided to go to the river without
support, he must inform about it
adults. Insignificant misconduct (for example, the baby heard
that the other child swore in the heat of quarrel) are not required to involve
his attention.

  • Play various scenarios

Role playing can be a great learning tool.
that will help your child understand what scooping is and how
should behave in different situations. Ask your chad
A few questions on the topic: “What would you do if
happened? .. “Situations may be as follows: another kid hit
dog, buddy ran off without demand to the city center, brother walked
dirty shoes on the floor, etc. In the game you can make sure
that the child understands when it is appropriate to seek help from
adult, and when you can do on their own.

  • Learn the motives of the little sneak

What’s worth for children’s complaints? Perhaps the child is driven by revenge.
or desire to get attention. Or maybe he’s just trying
to restore justice. Do a little investigation and
find out the true motives of your sneak. If the root of the problem
are negative emotions (resentment or envy), teach the children
healthy ways to deal with unpleasant feelings.

  • Teach self-help skills
    of problems

If a child complains about other children because he cannot
cope with the situation yourself, teach the necessary
social skills as an alternative to snuffling. For example,
if his friend “cheated” with the queue and stood in the library in front
him, explain how he can tell a friend with the help of words that
he was wrong.

  • Provide your child with attention

Very often, positive attention can significantly reduce
number of complaints and denunciations. Take a few minutes a day to
play with the baby. Let him take the initiative: builds
tower of cubes, playing with dolls, running in the yard and doing what
he wants to. Just ten minutes of your undivided attention
reinforce good behavior and reduce the likelihood of such a method
attracting self-interest, like sibling.

  • Tell us about the consequences

An adult child can already be told in private what they do not like.
scammers and in what case such frankness can cause
harm to other people. Ask your child what he would feel.
if the other person (with evil or no intent) told about his
misconduct or secret. Will he feel good or
badly? What will he feel: sadness, shame, disappointment?

To see the line between teasing and
справедливым by message о неподобающем поступке, детям потребуется
A lot of experience and time. Well, if your child can in any
moment to explain to you what exactly disturbs him in behavior
peers and adults, and you tell me how to act in
one or another ambiguous situation.


  • Why are children rude?
  • How to raise an honest child?
  • Comfortable baby. Is obedience always good?

Video: What if the child is a sneak? Tips psychologist

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