The child misbehaves: what to do

The content of the article

  • 1 How to raise an obedient child?
    • 1.1 Causes of childhood hysteria
  • 2 Is the child’s bad behavior normal or abnormal?
    • 2.1 1. Consider the “functional age” of the child
    • 2.2 2. Keep a diary of behavior
    • 2.3 3. Do not be afraid to see a doctor
    • 2.4 4. Discuss problems with other parents.
  • 3 Handbook for raising an obedient child
    • 3.1 Sleep control is the key to good behavior
    • 3.2 What is good and what is bad
    • 3.3 Praise for developing a behavior model
    • 3.4 “No” to war of interests
  • 4 What not to do?
    • 4.1 1. Do not show your anger to children
    • 4.2 2. Do not read the notation
    • 4.3 3. Do not remove the “golden stars” for breaking the rules
    • 4.4 4. Do not put the kids in the corner
  • 5 Что делать, если ребенок ведет себя плохо — советы
    child psychologist Julia Milovanov
  • 6 Naughty Child – School Doctor Komarovsky

How to raise an obedient child?

Children often act up and throw up tantrums,
and do it at the most inopportune moment. Parents first
asking their child to calm down, but soon many of them lose
patience and go to the cuffs. As a result, children’s screams only
intensified, and the life of adults turns into a real test.
Why a child becomes unmanageable, and how to correct it
behavior?

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Causes of child tantrums

All children periodically experience the patience of their parents and get up
things that put them in an awkward position. According to
specialists, this is a rational justification. Screams and tantrums
– just natural stages of development.

According to биолога-антрополога Университетского колледжа Лондона
Emily Emmott, the main problem is the time
parents spend with their own children. An adult can
seem like a child gets enough attention. Baby
it is necessary that mom and dad were near constantly and belonged
only him. Children still do not understand that adults have work,
friends and personal matters for which they also need strength.

A small person does not know how to correctly explain to parents that he
not enough of their love and care. The easiest way for a child
to draw attention to yourself – to shout loudly and to sink your feet. That
that the wishes and needs of others are important to consider, it is obvious
adults, but not for children. Understanding of these things is not given to man.
from birth, and comes only with experience. The child genuinely believes
that he should always get what he wants. If his whim is not
perform, the kid is trying to achieve the desired method available to him,
that is, hysterical.

We also read: how бороться с детской
hysterical: advice from a psychologist

Is the child’s bad behavior normal or abnormal?

All babies are deeply individual, and each can have their own
motives for disobedience. It is a detailed analysis of the causes of bad
The child’s behavior is the key to his “correction”. To
understand where the roots of the vagaries and tantrums grow from, use
following recommendations:

1. Consider the “functional age” of the child.

Parents often cast phrases like their own
�“Stop acting like a baby!” They are sure that as
growing up a child should become more serious. However all children
develop at different rates, under the influence of certain factors.
Therefore, when assessing their behavior, it is not always worthwhile to focus on
date indicated on the birth certificate.

Psychologists advise parents to understand what age
corresponds to the level of development of their offspring. In one area a child
can be ahead of their peers, in the other – a little behind. it
absolutely normal. Especially often such contradictions in behavior
are found among teenagers. 11 year old child can talk
as an adult, to swing their rights, and in the next moment – to ask
fix him a blanket before bedtime, cook something
yummy.

2. Keep a diary of behavior

It can be difficult for adults to put themselves in the shoes of a child and
look at what is happening with his eyes. Therefore, they often think
that there is no reason for bad behavior, but it does not happen.

Parents should keep a diary, describing changes in it.
behavior of the baby, namely:

  • everything that preceded the scandal;
  • events after which the baby calmed down;
  • how were the days when the child was obedient and
    calm

This method will help build a chain of events and identify factors
provoking outbreaks of anger.

3. Do not be afraid to see a doctor.

Problems with the behavior of children are often caused by features
age and pass by themselves when the child grows up. but
there is one thing: if the parents do not understand the exact causes of hysteria
their children, they will react in the wrong way. Reproaches
cuffs, reciprocal aggression does not contribute to good
education.

Are you very worried about the child’s behavior? Do not be afraid and not
feel free to contact the therapist. If your baby has
health problems, it is important to diagnose as soon as possible and
to treat but, скорее всего, врач посоветует вам
good child psychologist. He will talk to baby and determine
why he rolls tantrums. Learning what causes the baby
negative reactions, you can eliminate them.

4. Discuss problems with other parents.

Psychologists urge parents to explore other people’s experiences
having children of the same age – friends, relatives, good
acquaintances. Raising a child is really difficult. Everyone has
parents have problems with the behavior of their children, so there is no
nothing wrong with discussing them.

Perhaps someone will start to build from himself the most experienced.
caregiver and insist that he knows exactly what your problem is.
but в целом разговоры с другими родителями позволят вам лучше
understand when and why children’s behavior goes out of control. You
be able to detect factors that previously did not pay
Attention.

We also read: 10 причин плохого поведения
children

Allowance for the education of an obedient child

плохое поведение ребенка


Raising a child is a difficult and responsible process. Parents
хорошо знают своих children, но часто оказываются беспомощными перед
their tantrums. Therefore, it is irrational to rely only on your
strength Invaluable assistance in the education can provide advice
experienced professionals who managed to communicate with a large
number of families and do a lot of research to ensure that
how different factors influence a child’s behavior.

Sleep control is the key to good behavior

In 2013, British scientists conducted a large-scale study.
среди 10 000 children в возрасте 3-7 лет. The results showed that
there is an objective connection between unregulated night mode
sleep and child’s bad behavior during the day.

According to профессора кафедры эпидемиологии и здоровья населения
University College London Yvonne Kelly, unfixed
The daily regimen affects not only the body, but also the mind of the child. Such
conditions, he feels something like sensations when changing watch
belts. it препятствует здоровому развитию и вызывает
behavioral abnormalities. Disruption of sleep in preschool
age can also provoke serious problems with
health, which will last a lifetime.

The longer the child does not get enough sleep, the more pronounced
violations in his behavior, namely:

  • hyperactivity;
  • emotional instability;
  • difficulties in communicating with peers.

The good news is that all negative
The effects are reversible. If parents start
monitor the child’s sleep mode, soon his behavior will begin
improve.

What is good and what is bad

According to the University of Massachusetts professor Rachel Kel,
the task of the parents is to teach the child to behave correctly. Adults
must establish the boundaries of what is permitted and constantly explain that
can not violate them. Even babies respond well to training. When
the child is already 3 years old, he can just say: “If you
do not stop behaving, you have to go to your room and
sit there a little alone until you calm down. “

It is important to start the educational process as early as possible, because
inspire something a teenager will not work. When ребенок хорошо
behaves, along with praise he needs to explain what he is
did the right thing. Baby should remember how to act. is he
put the toys in the box? Not enough simple words “well done”.
Tell him that you are grateful for his help in cleaning, or pay
his attention to how cozy and beautiful it became in the room. AT
next time he wants to help his mother.

Praise for developing a behavior model

It is important for children to feel the care and approval of their parents –
this is what they often achieve with their tantrums. Praise
their not only exemplary behavior, but even for trying to make
something good

It is important for parents to understand that they themselves often make mistakes,
поэтому неправильно требовать идеальных поступков от children. Brain
baby will be formed until adolescence. is he
not yet able to rationally evaluate actions and take the right ones
solutions. It takes a lot of time and effort of parents to teach
child behave well and unlearn how to behave badly.

Approval from loved ones will help your baby to remember how
need to do. is heо станет отличной мотивацией для того, чтобы
behave well The child needs parental care and not
wants to upset them, but just does not understand what is expected of him
adults.

�”No” to the war of interests

University of Massachusetts professor Rachel Kelem advises
Parents show stamina and do not bend under the child. Kid
made a scandal because he did not buy a toy? Determine how
you will act and stick to your decision until
victory

The child quickly calculates that if he paurat longer and louder,
parents at some point will not stand and make concessions. AT
as a result, he begins to manipulate adults and scream each
time when not getting what you want. If you feel that in this
just do not stand for a long time, give in before the start of the tantrum. So you
keep your nerves and calm atmosphere in the house. If decided
stand up the end no matter how strong the baby
cried. AT итоге он поймет, что манипуляция не сработала, и сам
calm down.

What not to do?

ребенок плоха себя ведет


Sometimes parents, without knowing it, can provoke a baby
on scandals and tantrums. If you want to raise an obedient and
do not make the following mistakes:

1. Do not show your anger to children

Like sponges, children absorb everything that they “spy” from
parents. If you show your anger in their address, they will mirror
your behavior and will often roll up your tantrums.

Of course, all parents are periodically angry with their child.
but объяснить малышу, что он поступает плохо, можно и без
swearing, insists child psychotherapist from Lancashire David
Spellman. The specialist explains that parents do not even realize how
badly hurt his child, talking to him irritably. ATоспитывая
children, нужно проявлять недюжинное терпение и найти баланс между
rigor and kindness.

If a child is behaving badly, he needs to clearly say that he is
does wrong. If you scream, the baby just will not hear you.
Sounded in an angry voice will seem incomprehensible to him. AT итоге
the child only harbors a grudge and becomes disgraceful
parents.

2. Do not read the notation

When raising a child, the gingerbread works more efficiently than
whip. A man who was punished in childhood remembers this
adult and keeps hidden insult. Parents всегда объясняют
to his matured child, that they scolded him for his own good.
but специалисты уверены: наказания вызывают только негативные
effects.

According to профессора Келем, родителям лучше заострять внимание
children на моментах, когда они делают что-то правильно, и меньше
blame them for bad deeds. AT таком случае в сознании
the little man will be postponed what is good. is he будет
try to behave as it should to deserve parental
OK. Continue to praise and encourage his efforts to
the child went on like this.

3. Do not remove the “golden stars” for breaking the rules

Популярный метод контроля за поведением children — таблички. is heи
help parents to get their child to fulfill their requests.
If he does a good deed (cleans up toys, makes
bed), a star is attached to the plate, but it is removed for offenses.
To do so is a huge mistake, says Professor Kelem.

The specialist explains that the plates with the stars are wonderful.
way to negotiate with the child. is he видит свои достижения и
expects to be further encouraged. Every
star deserved baby. it результат, который не подлежит
revision. If the child is behaving badly, accentuate him
attention to the fact that he was left without a new star, but do not take away
already deserved.

4. Do not put the kids in the corner

Professor Kelem explains that the change of activity is very
эффективный метод воздействия на непослушных children. but
�“Pull out” a child from a situation in which he misbehaves,
need sharply, without swearing and violence. By sending the kid to the corner
parents literally put the label “you are bad” on their child. how
he will correct his behavior if you yourself suggest to him that
differently he can not?

You can not say out loud phrases like “you are a terrible child,”
�”I am ashamed of your behavior.” Better to say softly to the baby that he
went too far and ask him to go sit in his room
a couple of minutes to recover.

Parents должны запомнить одну вещь: плохим поведением ребенок
often trying to get them to spend more time with him. Yes in
In this case, it causes dissatisfaction with adults and risks being
punished. but ребенка устраивает любое внимание со стороны
parents. Try to spend with your peanut more
time when he behaves well. it станет для малыша лучшим
promotion, which he will try to get all the forces.

We also read: 

  • how за 7 дней исправить плохое поведение у ребенка
  • What parents should not do when a child behaves
    unbearable?

Что делать, если ребенок ведет себя плохо — советы
child psychologist Julia Milovanov

Naughty Child – School of Dr. Komarovsky

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