I am an ordinary young woman. I have a husband, son, love
cat. I live in an ordinary city, I work for the unremarkable
work as an ordinary employee. My apartment is also nothing
outstanding – ordinary dvushka.
When I’m at home, I’m always in sight. I always see and
hear husband and son. I love husband and son very much. And they love me too.
And therefore, at any time they can call me, ask some
question and want to hear my answer, show me something or
tell, hug, kiss, hang around your neck, look into
pot, get into my computer …
At first, I thought it should be that this is
family life. And therefore she treated everything with patience and
by understanding. But gradually I began to feel that I was getting tired. I became
understand that I need a personal space where I could be
одна, и в котором на какое-то время могла бы спрятаться от
every care, from husband, son and even cats. Not because I don’t
I love, but just – to relax and gain strength.
Every normal person needs a personal space. Can
even to say – in a personal world in which from time to time it was possible
take cover, read a book, think or just close your eyes and
relax. Especially when you are not only a wife, but also a mother,
and you devote most of your time to the child. Some psychologists
call this desire “reboot.” The same psychologists shared
the concept of “personal space” into several parts, about
which I want to say more.
Personal space is a normal need.
person No need to suffer guilt for what you want
take a break from your own child and generally stay in
This is the most important need of every person, including
of course, women, wives, mothers. It has long been proven that the absence
personal time not only depresses the person psychologically, but also
leads to various physical illnesses. Especially it concerns
нас, женщин, с нашей тонкой нервной системой и
psychological features. It often seems to us that if we
leave the house for a while, don’t cook dinner, don’t
redoing a bunch of other everyday household chores, it will be
akin to a catastrophe, and for this reason the world will collapse completely and
However, it only seems so to us. Many things can easily
to be done absolutely without our, female participation. Need only
be able to distribute our daily duties. Some business
the husband can perfectly make, some – the mother-in-law, and some –
can wait until tomorrow or even the day after tomorrow.
And then – we will have a personal time! How will you be it
hold – should not concern anyone, because this is your
personal time, not someone else’s. Can просто поспать, почитать
book or spend time at the computer, you can – go to
a hair salon, go shopping or just sit on
bench in the park. And do not be tormented by conscience, that while you
do personal business, your child, your husband and your cat are in it
it’s time not fed, not groomed and not warmed. On the contrary
it should be understood that having rested from everyday worries, you will come to
excellent mood that ultimately best
will affect the child and her husband.
Items that only a woman uses and no one else in
Family is also a very important part of personal space. For me
This is primarily my computer and phone. Of course not
immediately, but gradually I achieved that without my permission to
I did not touch the computer and the phone. Computer and telephone – part
my personal space to which I have the right, and therefore –
Please respect my right.
The kitchen sink and dishes are also my personal
space. I never let guests (even beloved mother-in-law)
wash the dishes in my kitchen. And not because I’m so ungrateful
and unable to accept help, I just know that all the plates,
covers, spoons will be laid out not as convenient for me. I used to this
I was ashamed, and now I proudly say: This is my personal
Personal space without a personal place can not be. Of course,
if you have a large apartment with a separate children’s room
a room, a separate room for a husband, and a few more
individual premises, then find a secluded place in which
it would be possible to hide from everyone for a while and be alone with myself, –
no problem. It is much more difficult to find such a place in close
two-room apartment in which I live with my husband and
son of But here, if desired, a personal place is possible for yourself.
It could be any fenced off area. Or –
desk. Or – кресло, в котором вы можете расслабиться и
temporarily disconnect from the outside world. Good for these
goals kitchen or bathroom. Great if you have
glazed balcony or loggia, which will also give you the opportunity
be alone with myself.
This is another extremely important part of your personal space.
My computer is a repository of my personal information. Letters,
which I write to someone and the answers to them, my correspondence in social networks,
my favorite sites, addresses of my interlocutors – all this is my a priori,
and no one else.
I, in fact, do not hide anything from my loved ones. I stand for
inviolability of your personal information for other reasons. To me
I want to prove that I have the right to have something
exclusively personal, which concerns only me, and no one
more. And no matter what it is: a list of recipes, photo album
with old photos or something else.
How to explain to loved ones that you need personal
It may happen that a woman tries to win for herself.
personal space will meet misunderstanding of households. AT
first of all, of course, the husband, but also the children too. Or your other
loved ones, if they live with you under the same roof or
happen to be your guest. What should be done in this case?
- Trying to explain that you need a personal space in
where do you want to be alone to relax
from the daily hustle and bustle of fresh energy. It is extremely important
do not make trouble, do not shout, but try to explain calmly, logically
and lucidly. ATначале, пытаясь объяснить моим домочадцам свою
потребность в личном space, я переходила на повышенные тона,
but soon I realized that it would be much better to say something like this:
I didn’t have a rest yesterday, and therefore I was angry and excited. Today,
having rested, I prepared a wonderful dinner, and after dinner we all
we can be together and do business together or loved
- ATсе показывать на собственных примерах. Let’s say knock if
You want to go to the nursery. Maybe not immediately, but
However, your child will take an example from you, and will also
ask for permission to enter your room or your corner which you
считаете своим личным space. ATторое важное обстоятельство –
reckon with the fact that your husband may also have his own
personal space. And therefore, if the husband is alone and engaged
in some way, you should treat this with understanding and
Yours Then the husband will treat yours in the same way.
- Ask for help. If a woman will not explain
to her loved ones, that she needs rest, and therefore she needs to be
one, the household will simply not understand. Especially men (husband,
sons). Such is their male psychology, and do not need them for it
be angry. I told my men bluntly that I was getting tired, to me –
I need their help and understanding, and what better way for me to relax
– какое-то время побыть в alone AT конце концов, после многих
explanations, my men understood me.
Having a woman’s personal space is psychological and
physical necessity. However, explain to loved ones that you have
this is not only right, but also in need of it, it takes a long time,
painstakingly and carefully – until they understand. But
when they understand, then everything in your family life will be fine.
Having retired and having a rest, you with new forces and desire will start
family responsibilities. I have achieved what I have
personal space that I wish you all.
We also read:
- Mom’s personal space: 7 rules for psychological
- 10 useful tips on how to teach your child to respect your