Parental quarrels and scandals in the family: the impacton child

All of us are human beings; we tend to manifest the most diverse.
feelings, along with joy and happiness, tranquility and euphoria, we
we can be angry, be unhappy, tired and irritable. AT
communicating with each other all our inner emotions manifest and
gain life, one way or another, affecting another person.
Quarrels in the family are most often inevitable, spouses disagree and
approaches to different things, complete agreement and understanding –
rare, family conflicts become painful
a question. But the well-being of the family, the harmony in it is inextricably
associated with the emotional state of both parents and their

Родительские скандалы

Parents often believe that, because of their tender age, their
the child does not catch the meaning of quarrels and disagreements, and therefore
allow themselves to vividly express negative emotions without thinking about
feelings crumbs at that time.

Как семейные скандалы влияют on child

А ведь ребенок очень чувствительно относиться ко всем
changes in your behavior, it absorbs intonation, voices,
taking to heart even the intense silence of the parents. what
Let alone talk about shouting and even assault.

Psychologists say that the preschool age is the basis
for the education of the person, the character of the person, his affections and
addictions. ANDмея совсем не большой жизненный опыт, малыш не в
the power to understand the causes and consequences of family scandals, and
even without taking part in them, mentally suffers.

Regular family conflicts inevitably lead to a variety of
negative consequences for the child.

Psychological disorders

  1. Behavioral factor. Parental quarrels can
    provoke development in a child as aggressive, hysterical
    behaviors (some children become aggressive, angry,
    puffy, constantly provoke conflicts among
    peers), and, on the contrary, isolation, alienation,
    неуверенности (другие дети становятся замкнутыми, закрытыми,
    they try to communicate less and, often, try to close off
    all). At first, pipsqueak can beat and scream at toys, and then
    to transfer behavior in everyday communication with people.
    Child может перестать слушаться родителей, вести себя
    uncontrollably, as the authority of adults is undermined in the eyes
    baby Such problems only worsen over time.
    mental health of the child and further negatively affect
    character development in general. AT старшем возрасте это начинает
    grow into big problems.
  2. Mental disorders. Constant
    nervousness, waiting for a conflict situation, tension,
    the impossibility of accepting one’s side makes the child more
    excitable, disturbing, contributes to the development of neurosis and serious
    mental illness.
  3. Life experience. ATыбрать их конфликтующих
    сторон ту, которая права, учитывая любовь к обоим to parents, для
    child is a very painful task. ATидя, как мама и папа, которые
    for the crumbs are the undeniable example, quarrel and scream, baby
    begins to perceive a similar manner of relations as the norm. is he
    ceases to believe that friendly, tender relations between
    by people.  And later, in adulthood will begin to apply
    experience gained in their own family, in relationships with loved ones and
    friends. Being a witness of scandals, the child ceases to appreciate
    family, as a reliable stronghold, and family values ​​cease for him
    be meaningful.
  4. Values Development inevitably suffers and
    принятие жизненных норм и ценностей для baby Hard to bring up
    in chad love, tolerance, friendliness, mutual aid, when instead
    their manifestations in the family, the child more often sees the opposite qualities, feels
    hostility, hostility between loved ones.
  5. Gender relations. AT конфликтах между
    to parentsи малыш может выбрать себе правого, основываясь на
    own feelings and affections. So, if he communicates more
    with mom, feels her intimacy, then regardless of the mother’s rightness
    will highlight in a quarrel. Constantly seeing scandals and swearing, making
    the victim’s own eyes, the child’s
    later life can negatively relate to women or
    men, becoming a woman-hater or, on the contrary, hating

ссоры родителей влияние on child

In little babies, some scandals are so much deposited in
memories that are almost the only memories from
childhood. ATедь взрослый человек после разрешения конфликта в
able to self-control themselves and forget all the unpleasant moments. For
the child is very hard to understand why a scandal occurs. Children
they always think that they are the cause of contention. ATозникают
obsessive thoughts that they interfere with everything in their family and that their
absolutely no one likes. Against this background, there is a feeling
unnecessary and in the future it all develops into a huge pile

Physical Disorders

  1. Speech and Sight. Being in stress
    constant anxiety contributes to the delay in the development of the child.
    Speech is particularly affected, the baby may later begin to speak,
    perhaps the appearance of stuttering, various defects in speech. Child
    may lose the ability to focus on a subject that
    indicative of vision problems. In addition, general scientific
    the fact that persistent stress affects the brain, and
    this is directly related to the normal development of man.
  2. Sleep. Baby for a long time does not forget the scandal
    parents, they themselves have long been able to get the incident out of their heads, and
    their child will still be worried about this. Baby’s mind
    still very undeveloped, it is difficult for him to understand the causes of discord.
    Gradually, the child may have negative thoughts that
    he is not loved, and he himself may be the cause of swearing at mom and dad.
    Because of their own experiences and complexes, the child is sometimes very
    it’s hard to fall asleep, and we all know the huge role of sleep in the development of a baby,
    his physical and mental health. Emotional arousal
    often leads to nightmares, disturbing sleep.

How to behave if a quarrel matures, or it has already taken place

  • Shut up. Wait with a showdown
    until the absence of a child or his sleep. Of course it’s hard to do
    if negative emotions and anger are raging inside, but you are an adult
    man to be able to hold back. But you need to think about
    the consequences of the conflict and that nerve cells are not
    restored. Try to distract, count to one hundred, breathe
    on the square;
  • Stop it. If the quarrel is already overdue,
    try to leave the scene of the conflict for a while, leave, urgently
    do some work, moving the conversation to later. You cool
    and continue to deal with the situation with a “cold” head;
  • Watch the speech. Often in quarrels parents
    begin to humiliate and humiliate each other. Humiliation for long
    even an adult is remembered, not to mention a child.
    In addition, you do not need a crumb to use in speech too.
    swear words and names;
  • Do not remember the past. How often in dispute,
    adults begin to remember past misconduct. Not worth stirring
    old grievances, do not aggravate the situation;
  • Do not threaten. No need to scatter
    threats, especially those that you just say in rash, not
    planning to perform, but just to hurt your opponent.
    Child все принимает всерьез, будет с тревогой ждать худшего,
    giving rise to doubts and fear;
  • Express yourself calmly. Figuring out the relationship
    try to minimize the level of irritation, speak calmly,
    measuredly, as if discussing an everyday situation;
  • Calm the baby. If the outlined is clear
    conflict, mutual tension is felt, discontent, say
    baby, that’s all right, no matter what, come to
    general conclusions and make peace;
  • To explain. If a quarrel has already occurred,
    explain to the child what prompted you to do so. Sure to
    assure the child that everything ended peacefully. Explain to him available
    for understanding the language why the conflict occurred. And convince him that
    everything was resolved. That the situation does not happen again. AND
    All the insulting words and insults are a mistake, and dad or
    mother good, kind, etc .;
  • Establish a normal relationship. Show the child
    that you are doing well. If the kid witnessed a scandal, do not
    show long dislike for each other, show that you
    reconciled, and life became the same as usual. Try
    Indeed, forgive the other half, because any fake children
    acutely feel;
  • Express love and tenderness. It concerns how
    each other, so and child. Just hug your baby,
    kiss, tell me how you love him. AND ребенок должен понимать,
    that in reality in the family everyone loves each other;
  • Talk about emotions and feelings. Tell me
    child, that all people can express their emotions, and have on it
    right, just need to try hard in a bad mood not
    offend another person. Show a personal example, calm
    each other, share your feelings with your child;
  • Never bring an argument to a fight. it
    an abnormal kind of conflict, a sign of a clearly painful relationship.
    Child не должен быть свидетелем рукоприкладства. ANDначе для него
    it can become the norm of life, seriously traumatize the psyche and
    greatly affect the future life. If your family conflicts
    very serious and comes to assault, then it stands
    think seriously. At a minimum you should calmly discuss
    situation with the spouse in a suitable setting. ANDли обратиться за
    help to a family psychologist. After all, every adult should
    understand that children are our reflection. AND какую модель семьи
    the child sees in childhood, he will build the same himself in an adult
    of life. If beatings have become part of a relationship, think carefully
    would not be the best for your child if your couple
    gets going.


A boy who grew up in a family where his father constantly beat his mother
just not able to be distinguished by a good upbringing towards
to the woman. For him, it will be just the norm to solve any conflict in his
family fists. He will have no respect for his own mother, but
respectively, and to all other women.

For a girl, education in such a family is the main model.
woman’s behavior. In the future she will have just absent
respect for yourself. Being a victim, going bruised for a girl will
нормальным образом of life. it будет модель семьи, к которой она
got used to it from childhood.

Remember that a good family relationship is a pledge
normal development of your child. Family – stronghold, unbreakable wall
for every child. Parents – an example to follow and undeniable
authority. You are responsible for the psyche of your child. Really
loving mom and dad will never allow their own turmoil and
relationship problems affect the health of the children, they must
they will try to smooth out conflicts, surround the child with calm and

We also read:

  • How family scandals affect a child: what to do
    to parents
  • 7 gross mistakes of parents during quarrels with children

Video tutorial: How do parents quarrels affect a child?
Совет детского психолога Юлии Талановой

Video consultation number 2: Why not swear at children? What kind
are the dangers of parental quarrels? Is it possible to quarrel at

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