All of us are human beings; we tend to manifest the most diverse.
feelings, along with joy and happiness, tranquility and euphoria, we
we can be angry, be unhappy, tired and irritable. AT
communicating with each other all our inner emotions manifest and
gain life, one way or another, affecting another person.
Quarrels in the family are most often inevitable, spouses disagree and
approaches to different things, complete agreement and understanding –
rare, family conflicts become painful
a question. But the well-being of the family, the harmony in it is inextricably
associated with the emotional state of both parents and their
Parents often believe that, because of their tender age, their
the child does not catch the meaning of quarrels and disagreements, and therefore
allow themselves to vividly express negative emotions without thinking about
feelings crumbs at that time.
Как семейные скандалы влияют on child
А ведь ребенок очень чувствительно относиться ко всем
changes in your behavior, it absorbs intonation, voices,
taking to heart even the intense silence of the parents. what
Let alone talk about shouting and even assault.
Psychologists say that the preschool age is the basis
for the education of the person, the character of the person, his affections and
addictions. ANDмея совсем не большой жизненный опыт, малыш не в
the power to understand the causes and consequences of family scandals, and
even without taking part in them, mentally suffers.
Regular family conflicts inevitably lead to a variety of
negative consequences for the child.
- Behavioral factor. Parental quarrels can
provoke development in a child as aggressive, hysterical
behaviors (some children become aggressive, angry,
puffy, constantly provoke conflicts among
peers), and, on the contrary, isolation, alienation,
неуверенности (другие дети становятся замкнутыми, закрытыми,
they try to communicate less and, often, try to close off
all). At first, pipsqueak can beat and scream at toys, and then
to transfer behavior in everyday communication with people.
Child может перестать слушаться родителей, вести себя
uncontrollably, as the authority of adults is undermined in the eyes
baby Such problems only worsen over time.
mental health of the child and further negatively affect
character development in general. AT старшем возрасте это начинает
grow into big problems.
- Mental disorders. Constant
nervousness, waiting for a conflict situation, tension,
the impossibility of accepting one’s side makes the child more
excitable, disturbing, contributes to the development of neurosis and serious
- Life experience. ATыбрать их конфликтующих
сторон ту, которая права, учитывая любовь к обоим to parents, для
child is a very painful task. ATидя, как мама и папа, которые
for the crumbs are the undeniable example, quarrel and scream, baby
begins to perceive a similar manner of relations as the norm. is he
ceases to believe that friendly, tender relations between
by people. And later, in adulthood will begin to apply
experience gained in their own family, in relationships with loved ones and
friends. Being a witness of scandals, the child ceases to appreciate
family, as a reliable stronghold, and family values cease for him
- Values Development inevitably suffers and
принятие жизненных норм и ценностей для baby Hard to bring up
in chad love, tolerance, friendliness, mutual aid, when instead
their manifestations in the family, the child more often sees the opposite qualities, feels
hostility, hostility between loved ones.
- Gender relations. AT конфликтах между
to parentsи малыш может выбрать себе правого, основываясь на
own feelings and affections. So, if he communicates more
with mom, feels her intimacy, then regardless of the mother’s rightness
will highlight in a quarrel. Constantly seeing scandals and swearing, making
the victim’s own eyes, the child’s
later life can negatively relate to women or
men, becoming a woman-hater or, on the contrary, hating
In little babies, some scandals are so much deposited in
memories that are almost the only memories from
childhood. ATедь взрослый человек после разрешения конфликта в
able to self-control themselves and forget all the unpleasant moments. For
the child is very hard to understand why a scandal occurs. Children
they always think that they are the cause of contention. ATозникают
obsessive thoughts that they interfere with everything in their family and that their
absolutely no one likes. Against this background, there is a feeling
unnecessary and in the future it all develops into a huge pile
- Speech and Sight. Being in stress
constant anxiety contributes to the delay in the development of the child.
Speech is particularly affected, the baby may later begin to speak,
perhaps the appearance of stuttering, various defects in speech. Child
may lose the ability to focus on a subject that
indicative of vision problems. In addition, general scientific
the fact that persistent stress affects the brain, and
this is directly related to the normal development of man.
- Sleep. Baby for a long time does not forget the scandal
parents, they themselves have long been able to get the incident out of their heads, and
their child will still be worried about this. Baby’s mind
still very undeveloped, it is difficult for him to understand the causes of discord.
Gradually, the child may have negative thoughts that
he is not loved, and he himself may be the cause of swearing at mom and dad.
Because of their own experiences and complexes, the child is sometimes very
it’s hard to fall asleep, and we all know the huge role of sleep in the development of a baby,
his physical and mental health. Emotional arousal
often leads to nightmares, disturbing sleep.
How to behave if a quarrel matures, or it has already taken place
- Shut up. Wait with a showdown
until the absence of a child or his sleep. Of course it’s hard to do
if negative emotions and anger are raging inside, but you are an adult
man to be able to hold back. But you need to think about
the consequences of the conflict and that nerve cells are not
restored. Try to distract, count to one hundred, breathe
on the square;
- Stop it. If the quarrel is already overdue,
try to leave the scene of the conflict for a while, leave, urgently
do some work, moving the conversation to later. You cool
and continue to deal with the situation with a “cold” head;
- Watch the speech. Often in quarrels parents
begin to humiliate and humiliate each other. Humiliation for long
even an adult is remembered, not to mention a child.
In addition, you do not need a crumb to use in speech too.
swear words and names;
- Do not remember the past. How often in dispute,
adults begin to remember past misconduct. Not worth stirring
old grievances, do not aggravate the situation;
- Do not threaten. No need to scatter
threats, especially those that you just say in rash, not
planning to perform, but just to hurt your opponent.
Child все принимает всерьез, будет с тревогой ждать худшего,
giving rise to doubts and fear;
- Express yourself calmly. Figuring out the relationship
try to minimize the level of irritation, speak calmly,
measuredly, as if discussing an everyday situation;
- Calm the baby. If the outlined is clear
conflict, mutual tension is felt, discontent, say
baby, that’s all right, no matter what, come to
general conclusions and make peace;
- To explain. If a quarrel has already occurred,
explain to the child what prompted you to do so. Sure to
assure the child that everything ended peacefully. Explain to him available
for understanding the language why the conflict occurred. And convince him that
everything was resolved. That the situation does not happen again. AND
All the insulting words and insults are a mistake, and dad or
mother good, kind, etc .;
- Establish a normal relationship. Show the child
that you are doing well. If the kid witnessed a scandal, do not
show long dislike for each other, show that you
reconciled, and life became the same as usual. Try
Indeed, forgive the other half, because any fake children
- Express love and tenderness. It concerns how
each other, so and child. Just hug your baby,
kiss, tell me how you love him. AND ребенок должен понимать,
that in reality in the family everyone loves each other;
- Talk about emotions and feelings. Tell me
child, that all people can express their emotions, and have on it
right, just need to try hard in a bad mood not
offend another person. Show a personal example, calm
each other, share your feelings with your child;
- Never bring an argument to a fight. it
an abnormal kind of conflict, a sign of a clearly painful relationship.
Child не должен быть свидетелем рукоприкладства. ANDначе для него
it can become the norm of life, seriously traumatize the psyche and
greatly affect the future life. If your family conflicts
very serious and comes to assault, then it stands
think seriously. At a minimum you should calmly discuss
situation with the spouse in a suitable setting. ANDли обратиться за
help to a family psychologist. After all, every adult should
understand that children are our reflection. AND какую модель семьи
the child sees in childhood, he will build the same himself in an adult
of life. If beatings have become part of a relationship, think carefully
would not be the best for your child if your couple
A boy who grew up in a family where his father constantly beat his mother
just not able to be distinguished by a good upbringing towards
to the woman. For him, it will be just the norm to solve any conflict in his
family fists. He will have no respect for his own mother, but
respectively, and to all other women.
For a girl, education in such a family is the main model.
woman’s behavior. In the future she will have just absent
respect for yourself. Being a victim, going bruised for a girl will
нормальным образом of life. it будет модель семьи, к которой она
got used to it from childhood.
Remember that a good family relationship is a pledge
normal development of your child. Family – stronghold, unbreakable wall
for every child. Parents – an example to follow and undeniable
authority. You are responsible for the psyche of your child. Really
loving mom and dad will never allow their own turmoil and
relationship problems affect the health of the children, they must
they will try to smooth out conflicts, surround the child with calm and
We also read:
- How family scandals affect a child: what to do
- 7 gross mistakes of parents during quarrels with children
Video tutorial: How do parents quarrels affect a child?
Совет детского психолога Юлии Талановой