Constant aggression, fatigue, lack of enthusiasm, lack
strength and guilt, which pursues day by day. “What happened with me
happens? ”Very often, many women ask themselves this question. AT
This video, Lena Danilyuk will tell what is emotional
burnout and give this advice how to cope with it.
Elena Kalnaya-Danilyuk – mother of three children, psychologist, coach,
psychotherapist, specialist in family and child psychology.
Good day! My name is Yelena. We will talk about the syndrome
burnout. And even if you don’t know this term,
Believe me, every mother will face his symptoms, regardless of
how many children she has.
Emotional burnout: how to cope?
Constant aggression, fatigue, lack of enthusiasm, lack
strength and guilt, which pursues day by day – that with me
is going on?
Very often, such a question is asked by many women, and not
understand why it happened, why they stopped receiving
pleasure to communicate with her husband? It would seem yesterday such
relatives, beloved, long-awaited children bring only irritation and
I want to say that emotional burnout is very dangerous
thing. If it sometimes seems to us that we can deal with it ourselves,
believe me, this is not always the case, unfortunately.
Because, first, the relationship with her husband deteriorates. It is closed
a circle – permanent problems begin, claims to each other,
when a woman is all the time unsatisfied, tired when she
wants to squeeze more out of herself, she can’t.
A man can not always understand her condition, and, even believe me,
the most sensitive, most reliable person who loves you and your
child more than anything, can not understand what is happening with
a different person and why he has a bad mood all the time, and what
he is not pleased.
ATедь, казалось бы, этого ребенка и то, что сейчас происходит, вы
waited so long!
Beyond this, another very dangerous factor in emotional
burnout is that all kids are up to 3 years old especially and up to 14 years old
actually inclusive, totally dependent on emotional
And it doesn’t matter whether you smile at your child or you have it all the time.
sad face – because children perceive us not verbally. They
feel that happens to us and to gossip with them is absolutely not
Если вы чувствуете, что вас покидают силы, срочно смотрим
видео в котором мы будем обсуждать, как же с этим бороться и
what to do with it.
1. Allow yourself not to be perfect.
Mom just needs to recognize the fact that she doesn’t
Unfortunately, in our age of information technology, we often see
pictures of unreal moms and unreal people who are always
smiling, who are always well-groomed, who are always doing well.
And against their background – we will not get anywhere from this – we are creating
the impression of complete inferiority and the feeling that only we are not alone
know that secret secret that helps other women all
keep up, look perfect and still in full swing
to enjoy the life.
But believe me, it is not so!
Therefore, every woman should clearly understand that she has
your supply of forces, and count on him. Do not try to be
perfect, do not try to cook 55 dishes.
Ask your man – what he prefers – smiling wife and
1 potato with a cutlet for dinner, or foie gras, 150 salads and some
amazing dishes, but tired, completely tortured
Or washed floors, a perfectly sparkling house, but a nervous wife,
which meets him not with the words: “How are you?”, but
complaints, requests for help expressed dissatisfaction with
how tired she is and how she lacks personal time.
Do not try to catch everything. Believe me, even if you won’t
do besides paying attention to your child happy
and a rested mom who spends her free time while
the child is sleeping, on the fact that she herself can also rest, it is much more
a valuable resource for the family than if you try to do everything
grasp the immensity, make a lot of claims to yourself and from this
aggravate even more the feeling of tiredness and tiredness.
Therefore, take care of yourself and your strength, and then your children and
your husband will only feel love from you
It is very important to understand that your occupation really deserves
respect. ATедь когда человек знает, зачем, он может вынести любое
2. Arrange the priorities correctly.
Competently set priorities.
And who is in our priority? Of course mom! Because she
responsible emotionally for the whole family.
What are the ways to relax mom? How can mom
use every spare minute to fill up and
thereby giving even more love and energy to your family, your
family and friends?
I think that the young mother has not so many ways. Not always we
we can go somewhere, go for a massage or some good
party But there is a way that I want to share with you, and
which is a kind of universal – communication.
No matter how we are told that sometimes conversations are just
a waste of time, believe me, for a woman this is real
When a husband comes home, he is not always interested in hearing about
diapers, about what you did, which store you went to and how much
Now there is a new collection of a brand.
But if you call a girlfriend, she will gladly take it with you.
will discuss. But anyway, if you do this all day long and
if now you are wasting your time on communicating with the child, and
for you these things have become important, you need it all too with someone
Communicate, put yourself in priority – as soon as more time
appears, be sure to pay yourself more attention. Walk with
friends for a massage, in sports halls, make yourself pleasant
because you are in the family in 1 place!
3. Make a plan of action
Girls, be sure to make an action plan for each day.
Believe me, not only super trendy business woman or busy
business women should have their own plan of action. Even if you are sitting
At home, it is very important that your day is structured.
What are the benefits of drawing up a plan?
ATо-первых, когда мы составляем план, это дает нам возможность
even better to feel our needs and desires. We understand clearly
what we want and what really is for us now
ATо-вторых, это отличный способ бороться с ленью. Because
if we have already planned something for ourselves, it will not be so easy
to postpone, and thereby increases our self-esteem and confidence in
We understand that we also have some business, we have
some desires, there are prospects, and there are plans for the future. But not
so that we sit in 4 walls and nothing but dishes, kitchens and
bathroom, nothing to see.
Believe me, if you have your plan and you will be every day
there add something new, you will have a wonderful feeling
that you continue to live. And accordingly, fatigue will not be so
Also, when you make a plan, be sure not to forget
cross off already done affairs because when you are at the end of the day
see how much you could do when you show your husband
who asks: “Listen, what did you do all day?”, you will say:
�”I did this, this, this, and for tomorrow I still have
this is planned, this is this and this “, a feeling of fullness of life,
feeling of self-confidence and self-reliance will be
only grow. And this is exactly what a young mother needs.
4. Combine multiple cases at once.
One of the main reasons for the accumulation of fatigue in moms is
the feeling that I stop developing. Women usually lead to this
very active lifestyle. When they leave on maternity leave, they have
emotional burnout begins because they stop
learn something new. It seems to them that the world outside is running, and I am standing
Learn to combine, learn to do several things.
at the same time!
Now the age of information technology plays into our hands.
In fact, you can swim in the pool with a waterproof audio player and
listen to lectures, you can go in the car and listen to audio books, you can
choose a new direction in online universities.
Now many world universities charge, free, online
provide training that all of us, dear mothers, is available.
You can, sitting on maternity leave, actually complete a new education and
master a new profession.
The main thing is not to be lazy and remember that everything is in your hands!
5. Play sports
The next factor in which many are not aware of, but
which plays tremendous importance in our emotional
condition is physical exertion.
Not only that during exercise increases the level
serotonin – the hormone of happiness in the blood, which gives us that
necessary energy and that surge of emotions that generates strength and
desire to live, create and do something further.
Exercise, in addition to this, allows any
man to be more organized, to feel better
physically and, as a result, have more opportunities to do in
in this world that we, in general, need.
If you think that physical activity is enough
you now do it every day – meaning you are carrying carriages
or a child all the time in her arms, then I want to say very important
engage in specific acupressure directed
just on your physical condition.
It could be gymnastics, maybe gypsy, maybe yoga.
Now a lot of online materials and you can find yourself any
coach like that you just like it.
Do not wait for you to have 1.5-2 hours for this. 5 minutes a day
regular exercise will raise your mood, muscle tone and
the level of serotonin that we so need in order to
feel happy, full and running on!
6. Take time for yourself
I know that so many moms are hard to ask for help. Them
it seems that then we will look incompetent or give
understand that we ourselves do not have enough strength.
But believe me, if you ask for help grandmothers, grandfathers,
godparents, sometimes it is even possible for a husband to spend 1 hour with
yourself, go to the park for a walk, just sit on the bench and
have a cup of coffee that has become a luxury for you, or finally
take a bath you have dreamed of for so long, it will all fill you
and will give the opportunity again, with new forces to give love to your
family and friends.
Therefore, any help to a young mother is priceless! Ask and
поверьте мне, вы всегда найдете support
7. Treat yourself
Pampering yourself for a woman is not an empty sound. When a woman
there is a new decoration, a new outfit, manicure, hairstyle, when
she looks in the mirror and she likes her reflection on her
hormonal level improves immunity, health appears
Many psychologists and psychotherapists advise women at least once
a month to buy yourself at least some accessory. Does not matter,
how much it costs – the same effect is made
very expensive jewelry, as well as ordinary jewelry, which is just
can show a woman that she is doing something for herself.
We now have a huge fetish – this is children’s fashion. We are very
We give a lot of attention to what our children are wearing. Often
the lion’s share of the family budget when a child arrives goes to
New outfits for a child who just doesn’t care what he is wearing –
while mom doesn’t allow herself to buy anything for years.
So, I really ask, please stop this situation.
Remember that for you to pamper yourself with new, at least elementary
outfits – new scarf, new hairpin, new hairstyle, hike in
nail salon is not a luxury! It is a necessity that gives
an opportunity for you to save money on medicines, save
money for sedatives and to feel always on top –
beloved and desired.
You know, there is a principle by type, when the plane falls out
oxygen mask, the first oxygen mask is put on by mom in order
so that later she would have the opportunity to help her child.
Here is exactly the same principle. When we invest some
efforts in yourself and giving yourself the opportunity to get something is not
selfishness This is the oxygen mask, clothing that, then we
more strength, more energy and more opportunities to be
useful to our loved ones, and at the right moment to secure them
And last but most important. Taking care of yourself, you
take care of your family. Therefore, do not panic, do not lose heart, take
yourself in hand – you will succeed!
We also read:
- �”I’m tired of being a mom”: 5 tips for improving life with
a child after a year
- 14 ways to take a child when mom wants to relax
- 10 ways to get rid of the complex “I am a bad mother”
- 6 tips for moms who don’t have enough time
- How can a young mother deal with a child and household chores?