My mum! Only mine! – or a few words about the nurseryjealousy

Моя подружка Тома недавно родила второго
ребенка
. I, as a selfless friend, decided to help with
caring for her eldest daughter Anya. She is three years old and she
very, very much waited for the birth of her brother. To us all who
хорошо знал эту семью, казалось, что никакой jealousy к младшему
there will not occur.

Аня неоднократно рассказывала как будет с удовольствием
bathe your little brother, play with him, roll him on your swing.
The whole family was very happy and was touched by this.

Born baby. Mom, of course, big
Part of the time began to devote a little boy. This has become especially
заметно на прогулках, где Аня теперь гуляла не с любимой
mommy, and with me, grandmothers, neighbors, godparents and others
close adults. how-то в одну из прогулок Анечка начала
cry hard, refused to go play with other children. Her
it was just impossible to distract or console!

Я была очень удивлена, когда Аня сказала, что
больше не хочет братика
, что хочет быть только с мамой, а
Mom doesn’t love her anymore! Then I really thought, what exactly
Is child jealousy? How can it be avoided? how
improve family relations and not lose contact with a senior
a kid?

revnost-rebenka-k-mladshemu


Родители редко задумываются о детской jealousy. More often
altogether they are just trying to stimulate a good attitude
the youngest child. This is done with the help of suggestions, gifts,
entertainment and sweets. Unfortunately, this is not always
efficiently.

how понять, что ребенок ревнует?

Родителям очень повезло: дети не стесняются в выражении
своих чувств
. That’s just their verbal form usually
shocking. The eldest child may offer to give the baby to someone
another (“Aunt A. has no children!”), throw out the window or return to
Maternity hospital (“He will be fine there!”). Do not worry hardly your child
действительно сделает что-то плохое, но этот признак jealousy
can not be left unanswered!

Параллельно старший ребенок обычно всячески пытается
привлечь внимание родителей
: может просить, чтобы кормила
now only mother, although before the birth of the crumbs is excellent and with
pleasure to cope with it myself, can start to sleep badly and
call you or require you to be present while falling asleep,
may make a special noise when asked to be quiet, maybe even
hit the younger child or bite him. Examples of this kind
mass behaviors!

how растить без детской jealousy?

Some practical tips to help
achieve harmony in the family after replenishment:

  • Пусть старший помогает с младшим, если ему
    (she) wants it. You can even select a case for which
    the eldest will be responsible (bring the pacifier, toys, etc.).
  • Do not interfere with communication between children! If a
    the older child will want to touch or stroke the younger, then not
    forbid it. Do not create an idol at home!
  • Try to keep the senior’s daily routine.
    baby
    Yes, it is not easy and will require the help of friends and
    relatives while you have so much time spent on
    newborn, but the less the regime changes for the older child,
    the less stress due to family changes he will feel.
    Try to keep walking, lunch and sleep as usual. Child
    in no case should not refuse circles or games with
    their peers because of the appearance of the baby!
  • Move the older child to a separate bed or
    room before departure to the hospital.
    Maybe some time
    sleep issues will need to deal with dad, not mom. So you
    do not allow to form a grudge against a younger child due to the fact
    that he de facto took the place of the senior’s sleep. Same
    касается отлучения от груди
    , если разница между детьми
    very small. The sooner you do this, the less chance of offense
    (article about how to wean a child from the breast).
  • starshyi-rebenok-rvnuet-k-mladshemy

    Often after the birth of the older child is sent to the grandmothers.
    Это может быть расценено как предательство, поэтому лучше
    попросите родных помочь у вас на дому
    (приготовить,
    remove; play, read or engage in creativity with a senior
    a child; прогуляться с младшим на улице), чем выселять
    child from the usual place.
    The children are to blame for this
    very quickly and you probably guess who they will be.
  • Не стесняйтесь проявлять заботу и любовь по
    attitude towards the older child, kiss, hug him.
  • У детей должны быть разные ласковые прозвища.
    Do not always call one by name, and only the second
    �”Cat”.
  • Do not prohibit the eldest child to be present during
    грудного вскармливания
    , но лучше заведите особое место для
    Do this and explain that you should not be bothered there.
  • Show as an example of a family with two children,
    where they get along well.
    Explain to your child that this is very
    right and fun!
  • Emphasize the importance of the role of the elder in the life of the younger
    ребенка
    . For example, emphasize that no one else
    does not know how to play and entertain or soothe him.
  • Do not constantly point out that the youngest is small and
    therefore, everything is possible for him and that everything must be for him
    the best.
    So you провоцируете старшего ребенка на more
    children’s behavior and create complexes for him.
  • The older child should have his own, personal time
    наедине с мамой
    . Let it be, for example, during
    father’s walk with the younger. So you покажете, что старший ребенок
    for you no less important than the youngest and you are all the same his favorite
    mommy Just do not need at this time to engage in cooking
    or cleaning! Devote him to a pleasant time with
    child: draw, read or make some crafts.

Do not sharply become strict and principled.
mom after childbirth. Yes, it will be harder, but this is not a reason to refuse
the oldest child in support and attention!
All your kids
should be sure that parents are on their side that they
appreciate and respect them. Try to be a friend to your elder
child and then the appearance of another baby will be held in the family
calm enough

We read in detail:

  • Why is the eldest child jealous of the youngest? What to do
    parents?
  • Children in the family compete: how to solve the problem wisely

how уберечь старшего ребенка от чувства jealousy,
if the baby appeared in the family? This topic will be discussed by the psychologist Anika
Rimarenko:

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