My child is greedy – what to do? Fight orput up with? Causes of Childish Greed

Most children have difficulty parting with their
toys and in no way want to share. Probably every mom
had to blush on the playground or away when their
the child shouted to other babies: “This is mine! I’m not giving it!”.

The content of the article

  • 1 Greed – age norm or deviation?
    • 1.1 Children’s value system
    • 1.2 And what if the truth is greedy?
    • 1.3 The reasons why children become greedy
  • 2 Tips for parents
    • 2.1 How to “treat” greed
    • 2.2 Recommendations on how to behave on the playground. how
      fight greed
    • 2.3 What if inflamed conflict?
  • 3 Video consultation. Children’s greed: why the child does not want
    share toys?
  • 4 Greedy Child – All Will Be Good

ребенок-жадина


Greed in childhood is a natural protective
mechanism. The child thus tries to defend his “property”,
to win the right to own toys, books or something else. Kid
observes that mom and dad have personal items that are used
only they. So, the property should be with the child. About,
how to figure out the causes of greed and teach your kid to share their
values, read this article.

Greed is the natural defense of one’s own
�”Values”, the struggle for the right to possess something.

Greed – age norm or deviation?

First you need to understand whether the child is consciously greedy or is it
natural stage of its development. The answer depends on age:

1-2 years. The concepts of “greed” is not yet
exists. At the age of 1-2 years, the baby is just learning to say “no.”
Pressure on the child during this period is impossible. If he is not young
will learn to say no, this will significantly complicate his life
the future. Practice shows that moms who were afraid to raise
greedy, trouble-free children grow up. When they become adults,
they are easily manipulated by others.

2 years. By this age the child is already
sees his stuff as an extension of his own personality and
consciously says “mine.” It is important that the baby was sure: things
which belong to him are inviolable, no one can take them
without his consent. At the age of two, the child forms
self-image. He begins to define the boundaries between
�”Their” and “alien”.

3 years. The child should already be able to refuse.
If by 3 years old the baby does not learn to say “no”, this will lead to
that he will indulge in the whims of others to the detriment of himself. because of
that he himself will suffer. The task of the parents is to teach the baby
the fact that one thing – to protect their belongings from the encroachments of others
people and the other – frank greed, when you do not want to share
just out of harm.

4 years. This age is the beginning of a new phase.
socialization of a little man. Becomes paramount
communication, and different things and toys acquire the role of tools,
that help to establish communication with other children.
A four-year-old baby is already aware that he can arrange
to yourself a person if you share with him an interesting
a toy.

But there is another side to the coin. Parents
inspire the child that unconditional love is impossible – only if he
will meet the requirements of others, they will be positive to
treat him (“if you don’t give it, no one will play with you!”).
This is a very dangerous stereotype – so the child is convinced
�“Commodity” relationships in the sphere of feelings and affections, as well as
depreciates as a person. After all, they will play only if you have
there are some toys and you give them, and not with you as a person.
Therefore, this issue must be approached very
neatly!

5-7 years. If the preschooler is greedy, cause
is internal disharmony. It often happens that a child does not
wants to share with younger brothers and sisters, furiously pulls out
toys from their hands. Perhaps he is jealous of parents, believes that
the kid took his mom and dad’s attention from him, and now he laid his eyes
and on his stuff.

комментарий-с-майл_ру-дети


Children’s value system

Children often say: “You can not be a greedy”, “Share”, “Give,
let another play, ”and the little ones resist the orders of the adults.
Unwillingness to share and upholding property is not necessary
associated with the concept of greed. Your little one just protects what
has and what is dear to him. After all, if he does not learn to do this, that
is it in the future? He will grow weak-willed, will not be able to defend
their rights to protect a loved one will become too compliant.
By virtue of age, he is not yet aware of the difference in the value of things and not
understands which can be easily given, and which is important to defend. it
understanding comes with time, but if this does not happen, then
personality is formed compliant, not able to object and defend
honor and personal opinion.

Kid, безвольно расстающийся с собственностью, в
the future may become too soft and driven, will not be able to
protect yourself, loved ones, their own rights.

We, adults, have a different system of values, both moral and
and material. It’s crazy to us why a crumb doesn’t let one play
dozen of his sand molds, or do not want to throw usual
pebble, going home. Why does a child have to part with his
things on demand of others? Look at the situation from another
стороны, если usual человек на улице потребует отдать ему вашу
personal thing, bag or car keys, you immediately give them away? So
and your baby does not want to distribute what he considers his, personal, and he
has every right to do so. For a child, his machine is the same
the road is like a real car to you, but the collected twigs or
a beautiful shell is an invaluable treasure.

ребенок-жадничает


Think, you teach your child to respect someone else’s
собственности (мы говорим ребенку: «it папа не разрешает трогать!
Don’t take it, it’s mom’s! ”), Not allowing to touch your things, climb into
cabinets and cabinets with personal items. Do not make an exception for
children, their sense of ownership and space also need
respect. Children tend to perceive their favorite objects and toys.
как часть самого yourself

Especially become the road of their own things, if the child
experiencing stress, for example, recently went to kindergarten.
Shabby bear, which the baby does not even wash,
to become an ally and “moral support” for him. In such
periods do not force the child to give important toys to him
even for a while.

And what if the truth is greedy?

A sense of ownership can take an unhealthy form,
reach extreme. A child is not born a priori, greedy
this is taught in the family gradually. Think it over, haven’t you spoken
baby, what if he behaves badly, you are all toys
give the children on the street, or warned the crumbs: “Do not carry a new
steam locomotive to the playground, you break it “,” eat more soon – and
then the dog will eat. Do you know such exclamations: “If you will
scatter toys – I will give them to someone else’s boy “,” Breaking
typewriter – I will give all your toys in the garden “? We often do not
We think that children take all our words seriously and apply
to all life situations. And then we wonder where in the child
there were negative traits.

ваш ребенок жадина


Parents могут неосознанно навязывать чаду гипертрофированное
feeling of ownership and labeling him: “You’re greedy! Phew
how ugly it is! You’re greedy! “With this approach, the child is very
gives up quickly, ceases to defend, and in the future will try
match the negative characteristics of the parents – this applies
any labels: “stupid, slow, dirty, whiner, idiot” and
other Calling a child like-words is the surest way.
bring up these qualities.

Remember that you yourself are an example for behavior.
children – the child reflects the behavior of the parents. Not always parents
see for themselves the shortcomings that are continued in their
children.

Observe a child if he is a provocateur of quarrels on
because of the reluctance to share toys, distinguish the situation in which you
the kid is right, but in which he himself becomes the instigator of discord and
specifically negatively tunes a friend, brother or sister.

The reasons why children become greedy

У малышей младше 5 лет жадности как таковой еще не exists.
From the age of 5, greed must be “cured.” First of all it is necessary
understand where roots of greed grow from. The reasons may be
different:

  1. The child suffers from a lack of parental care,
    love, warmth and attention.
    Маленькие жадины растут в
    families where parents are always busy and show their love
    gifts. For kids, such things become especially important, because
    They suffer from a lack of parental caress. Completely
    naturally, the child will react painfully to attempts
    any person pick up his values.
  2. Jealousy. If the baby seems that parents
    more like his brother or sister, he or she will transfer to him or her
    your offense. it и вызовет приступы жадности и агрессии. Not necessary
    to insist that the eldest child share with the younger one. it
    only increase his resentment and anger at his parents.
  3. An excess of parental love and attention.
    A child from whom dust particles are literally blown away
    everything can, turns into a little home tyrant. Soой малыш
    sure that he is the center of the universe, and everyone around
    implicitly perform all his whims. If something goes wrong,
    as he wants, tantrums arise. Therefore, you need to teach the child to
    that there must be a measure in everything.
  4. Shyness and indecision. Children with such
    character traits are often lonely. Their only friends are
    toys. They give the child a sense of security and security.
    It is not surprising that the baby does not want to share them.
  5. Excessive frugality. Some kids
    so much worried about the safety and integrity of the expensive
    ему игрушек, что не позволяют никому даже трогать их.
  6. Protect your property. it совершенно
    normal reaction. After all, you also will not become inactive, if
    someone will “open” your car … Even if only
    go for a drive!
  7. Mistrust. Do you think the baby anyway with whom
    to play (if only not to sprinkle with sand)? And no! Even in two years
    the child already has its likes and dislikes, trusts someone, and
    someone not.

если-ребенок-жадина


Tips to parents

«Моему ATасе почти 2 years. When we enter the site, he
puts his toys in the ruler, and he plays strangers. If a
someone takes his car, then immediately takes away, and can hit.
Even uncomfortable in front of other mothers, after all, Vasya can offend them
kids Боюсь, что он вырастет жадиной…»
– рассказывает
Helena.

If a ребенок обижает малышей, которые посягают на его игрушки, а
he takes someone else’s cars, can grow out of him mean and not very
nice person. Fortunately, childish greed can be “cured.” AT
This will help you advice experts.

how «лечить» жадность

  • Уделяйте больше времени своему ребенку и показывайте ему
    love, make sure you pay enough attention to your baby
    and caresses: talk with him about how the day went, walk,
    play Good emotional contact with the baby is the best.
    greed prevention;
  • Do not spoil the child excessively. Otherwise he will sit on your neck and will
    achieve everything you want with the help of screams and whims.
    Look at the position of the child in the family. Not
    let him become a little tyrant;
  • Читайте ребенку книжки, вместе смотрите мультики, в
    which tells us that being greedy is bad and generous
    man is good. A good example is the cartoon “We shared
    orange”;
  • Teach your child to be generous, to show care and compassion by
    towards others – it is your child’s behavior pattern that he sees and
    takes over. Feed in the shelters of abandoned homeless animals,
    help those who need help. Let the kid learn from your
    example;
  • Not ругайте и не стыдите малыша при свидетелях. Notльзя
    говорить ребенку при посторонних: «ATсе подумают, что ты
    greedy! ”
    Otherwise, he will become an insecure man and
    will greatly depend on the opinions of others. If a ему внушить, что
    he is greedy, the child will believe in your words that he is greedy, and
    then do not spare this vice;
  • Tell your child how nice and fun to share.
    toys. Tell him that other children will be better for him.
    relate. If a ваше чадо прячет свои вещи, но без зазрения
    conscience takes strangers, explain to him that this is not fair;
  • Praise the child when he shows kindness. He must
    remember how happy mom is if he shares toys with
    other children. Let all manifestations of greed remain in the past, and
    only the one time the baby has manifested
    generosity.

We also read: Что делать, если ребенок не
sharing toys?

Recommendations on how to behave in the playground. how
fight greed

  • If you are going for a walk or a visit, remind your toddler,
    that he will meet other babies. Going to the nursery
    place him to take only the toys with which he is ready
    to share. If a к вам идут гости, скажите ребенку
    убрать игрушки, которые он никому не даст. ATозьмите на
    площадку игрушки, о которых ваш малыш волноваться не
    will be;
  • Not запрещайте ребенку защищать свое «имущество» от
    посягательств других children He must научиться постоять за yourself
    Toys are the property of the kid: if he wants, he will share
    them with other children, if not – that is his right. Remember that now
    у него формируется умение постоять за yourself Stick to
    strategies “he can share if he wants”;
  • Teach the child to ask the owner for permission to take the toys.
    While the little tot is small, mom should do it for him;
  • Explain to the child that the other child does not take the toy, but
    He takes a short time, plays a little – and returns. Most often children
    they are afraid that their toy will not be returned to them;
  • Try to persuade the crumbs to share, but it is better to change! AND
    Be sure to emphasize that this is temporary!
  • If a ребенок не поддается на уговоры, нужно уступить. Not
    blame the child, do not scold, and agree with his opinion. ATедь это
    his toy isn’t it Does he not have the right to decide whom to give his
    things, and who does not? ATедь и взрослые поступают так же со своими
    things!
  • Not сравнивайте ребенка с другими детьми: «ATидишь, все
    are divided, but you are not. ” It is better to say “co-saboteurs”: “We are with you
    let’s get to know each other better, and then we’ll share, yes,
    Seryozha? ”;
  • Not дразните малыша, не высмеивайте его поведение и не
    allow others to call the child greedy. Пока кроха не
    You will learn how to share, smooth conflicts. AND делать это
    need to be tactful, not touching the feelings of both parties. Blaming and shaming
    baby, you can develop a sense of guilt in him. AND кроха будет считать
    yourself bad and even unloved!
  • Greet the bounty of the child. Buy some candy and
    offer the crumbs to treat them to children in the sandbox. Probably,
    малышу понравится реакция других children After this action of generosity
    the child will be more willing to share;
  • Show me an example. Get together for a visit, along with
    baby buy something for tea. Ask for the opinion of the child that
    better to buy: a cookie or cake?
  • If a ребенок злится, спокойно поговорите с ним. Soft and
    calmly explain to him why he has such feelings.
    Teach your baby to be aware and express their emotions, and not to keep them in
    to myself.

Почему мой ребенок – жадина


What if inflamed conflict?

  • If the baby forcibly snatched his toy from the hands of another child,
    keep calm. Do not scold him, do not show that you
    get angry. Of course, you can not call greedy and other people’s children who
    take away toys from your child;
  • Do not take a toy away from your child.
    to give it to another baby against the will of your child is
    tantamount to betrayal.
    Child subconsciously
    He will start thinking like this: “Mom is stronger than me and took my typewriter from me.
    Imitating my mother, I can also take things away from those who are weaker! ”;
  • Offer the child to still share a toy: “Petya is so
    upset, he almost cried. Maybe at least give him a look.
    on the machine? “;
  • Ask the child if he would agree to give the offended
    child another toy, which is still lying idle;
  • Mom “offended” kid condemns you? Most likely, she has
    very small child or is she sure everyone should share
    toys. Do not argue with it, so as not to provoke a new
    conflict;
  • If a conflict broke out between several children, an adult
    better to intervene immediately. Just do not scold anyone and do not shout. Most
    Reasonable way out of the situation – come up with a common game for all
    children

We also read: Конфликты на детской
site: how not to bring to the fray?

Помните, что жадность – нормальное явление для
kids This is a natural stage of maturation. Parents need
have patience, communicate more with the child, tell him
that it’s bad to be greedy, and sharing toys is fun and interesting.
Praise your baby when he shows generosity. This will strengthen his faith in
yourself Growing up, the child will see and feel a positive return.
from their generosity, and the support and approval of mom and dad even more
will strengthen in him the understanding that he is acting correctly. If you have
I can’t cope with childish greed
the reason lies deeper. Do not be afraid to contact
to psychologists.

We also read:

  • Should a child share toys?
  • How to raise a child generous
  • Spoiled child: how to understand that a child is spoiled and how
    to rehabilitate him

Video consultation. Children’s greed: why the child does not want
share toys?

How to raise a child so that he is not greedy and learn
Share your toys and things with other kids? About the causes and
Recommendations to parents tells the psychologist, the creator of the First
Children’s Academy and School of professional parents, business coaches and
mother of four (for two with her husband) children, Marina Romanenko:

Greedy Child – All Will Be Good

You are struggling to teach the child not to be greedy, but he
flatly refuses to share toys on the playground, and on
Any request to share answers tantrums? Today along with
psychologist Victoria Lyuborevich-Torkhova, we define five phrases,
which will help the child not to be greedy:

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