�”I hate you!” How to momto respond to the offensive words of a child?

Angry words abandoned by a child in a fit of rage hurt hurt
mother’s heart. And if it is “I hate you!”, It hurts a hundredfold.
It does not matter that the baby is only 2 years old or almost 15, everything hurts
equally.

How is this possible? After all, for the sake of this little man you sacrifice everything
what can you do unthinkable, ready to give your life for
his happiness. As a kid, for the sake of which nights did not sleep, can
to respond with such “reciprocity”? No need to rush to conclusions and
reciprocal causticity, because there except the children’s bright flash of anger, no
no hate


�“I hate you!” – is it really? what
does the child mean?

A child’s heart is overwhelmed by such a range of feelings that there are no words, their
to express. This is anger at the situation, an insult that not everything is so
I want love for my mother, and rage, such that I want to beat
the one who is near. Even for an adult to cope with such a flow
emotions is not easy, and even for the crumbs – it is almost impossible. Therefore he
expresses everything in one phrase “I hate you!”, and an experienced parent
must recognize and find out the true causes of the conflict.

The child can not say: “Mom, I’m sorry, but I’m angry now
on you so much that he is ready to nail you, but I will not do it,
because I love! It makes me even worse: be angry and love
at the same time hard. And I can’t handle this rage and
badly need you right now. Help me!”

Too difficult for the little man, right? The only thing,
than he can describe the whole range of violent rage, say, “I
I hate you! Often under these three words baby
implies:

  • Do you hear me.
  • I am very sick and ill.
  • I sense something incomprehensible in my soul, and I cannot understand that
    I can not explain it.
  • You do not understand what I really need now.
  • We seem to speak different languages!
  • What you want and what I want are two different things.

In a minute of avalanche-like influx of rage, the child really needs
parent-sponge that can get these strong emotions and
digest them, helping the child cope with them. And not to ears
pledged by what he heard, it is enough to imagine that a son or daughter
говорит не жуткое «Я ненавижу тебя!», а «Я нуждаюсь в тебе, ты
I need!”

We answer unpleasant words from our children

Чего нельзя говорить ребенку:

  • I do not care what you feel!
  • Мне все equally.
  • Well, well, then I hate you too!
  • I will make you regret these words.
  • If so, then I will not feed you today / give you a toy / not
    Let me watch cartoons / play on the phone.
  • You are an ungrateful child! All for you, all for you, malnourished,
    not enough sleep, and you!

Читаем также: 5 самых несправедливых и
offensive phrases from parents that children can hear

The phrase “I hate you!” Is important to answer
right:

  • I love you no matter what, but it hurts me
    of words.
  • You hurt me, I am very sad that you say so.
  • I feel so bad for you now.
  • That you do not hate me, but you do not like what I
    said / did.
  • Though it hurts me because of your words, I still love you.
  • I will discuss with you what is happening now when you
    calm down because you’re angry now.
  • I understand that you are very angry with me, but to say such words
    close people are very wrong.
  • I hurt you, I understand.
  • You’re not ready to talk now, but I’ll be there when
    will need you.
  • Stay a little one and think what happened. When
    I’ll need you next.

It is necessary to discuss what is happening with the child calmly, without emotions and
sustained. The most sincere words spoken through clenched teeth or with bad
hidden aggression will only harm, increase the gap between
child and his parent. Therefore, if you feel that you boil,
Give yourself a break, and when you get cold, talk to your child.

Читаем также: ребенок ругается матом

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