�“I bring up as I see fit!” Or 5 mythseducation

It’s hard to say why this happens – but often
we adults, we suddenly find ourselves being mistaken in
нормах education детей. Does our own installation affect us
childhood, or not enough confidence in their own competence …
However, worse when we do not catch. Or when we understand our mistakes only
at the stage of causation.


How to distinguish internal principles from stamps in
consciousness? Unlike true traditions, pedagogical myths do not give
parents to hear their own intuition, which means – to understand
baby Acting through fear, not through love, some
stereotypes can destroy the harmony of the child-parent
relationship. But it was not there! Together we will debunk some myths.
right now.

�”The teacher himself must be what he wants
сделать воспитанника.» ―Владимир Иванович

Myth number 1. �”If you give him everything he wants, he will be spoiled and
neck will sit down “

Think about what your child wants in the first place? If the first
came to mind, say, a bicycle, then we are still pedals
twisted in the wrong direction. In fact, the main need of each
baby – the need for love, and more specifically – to know that he is seen and
hear. Giving him what he wants in this sense, go too far
is impossible. And no matter how hard my grandmother’s goose brains:
�“Do not accustom to hands! Do not take the baby out of bed again! ”,
A happy child is a child who “sits up” in his arms. He and
not at all “manual” in the older preschool age – because the basic
needs are met on time and there is no fear of getting less

If we talk about “everything that he wants,” meaning abundance
toys and entertainment, one must understand here – it is important that we
invest in these benefits. For comparison, we give three examples:

  1. Parents lit up the child out of guilt – day and night on
    work and express your feelings in a different way do not have
  2. Buy toys, not withstanding demanding tantrums.
  3. The family has many relatives and friends, close people bring
    Presents to the child.

Each situation is individual, but “possible risks” as such
they are not created by the “sea of ​​toys”, but by the context of their abundance. If a
context – healthy family relationships, an excess of toys and children’s
Joys are unlikely to adversely affect the baby.

Читаем также: сколько игрушек нужно ребенку

A separate tale is when parents use bans in
educational and prophylactic purposes, always and in all fear
to spoil Often, the child is left with nothing other than
to become smarter – stop asking permission, for example.  Here is
this is where the parents begin the real difficulties in education. Have
another child like that can cause the so-called
«выученной беспомощности» —  проблемы, служащей причиной
lack of initiative in various aspects of adult life.

Читаем также: Маленькие манипуляторы: как
respond to the tricks of the child? 10 most successful children’s phrases

МИФ № 2. «Нельзя жалеть из-за любой мелочи –  вырастет

When an adult is upset, we sympathize with him – we share the hard
feelings, showing understanding and acceptance. And baby, it turns out, not
person? Yes, children’s adversities do not look so big, but on
then he and the child. Do not throw it in a difficult moment! But not
worry more than he does. Ability to feel, not reproach
yourself for negative emotions – something that many adults lack,
вследствие неправильного education. Let our children be
happier us You will notice how, as they mature and develop
psyche, the little man will need less
empathy to stop crying.

A simple example from real maternal experience: Vanya
a susceptible child, grandmother even calls him “mama’s
son, “but mom sees progress – in a year he could cry for
to every insignificant occasion (caring grandmothers
who thinks that mom should have treated him “like a soldier), and
mother was sorry, expressed sympathy. No worries, no nerves –
just with understanding in the shower. And now he is 2 years old. In vain worried
grandmother – no more, but much less he cries, and calms down
much faster. And he is not a crybaby – yes, this is a thin man
mental organization, but after all each child has its own character. Vania
not crying over trifles. By the way, if more recently in
the answer to the draft cry “I hit!” you had to take it to
pens, pee at the bruised place and give the chest, then six months
back everything has become much easier. And the other day he was so carried away by the game
the soldiers, that, having hurt his knee, he kissed her and continued
their important affairs.


Читаем также: Как воспитать и вырастить
child optimist? Tips for parents

МИФ № 3. «Haveходить под детский плач — издевательство. If a надо
leave, slip away unnoticed! ”

So where is the logic? Yes, quietly leaving, taking advantage of the moment
keen play of the child, we will not hear the bitter crying, but is this not
a real mockery of a baby soul? Moreover, it is spitting
In the soul! Put yourself on baby’s seat: mom disappears
неожиданно,  в любой момент. So how to trust her after that?
How many times a day, just in case, cry, losing her out of the field
view? Or maybe in the middle of the night you should wake up and call her? No well
you never know … Absolutely always have to be alert to this unstable
a world where people cheat each other.

Warning, explaining, patient parents
much less at risk for the mental state of children.

Another example: when Alice was a year old, her mom appeared
the need to earn money – dad in the family was not. To sit with baby
Grandmother was called, the blessing they lived in three. And here began the quarrel:
grandmother thought that mother should go away unnoticed. Once so
and did, though that day grandma’s forces did not last long –
Alice cried until mom had to give up everything
grandma call and run home. It seemed that my mother’s part-time job
shines But no – by changing the strategy, women soon noticed that
the girl cries less after mom’s care, and her grief lasts
not so long: after all, my mother promised to return to her, because this already happened –
promised and really returned.

Читаем также: Ребенок не отпускает от себя
mama not a step: what to do?


Myth number 4. “Politeness must be instilled from the cradle!”

�“Did you say thanks?” – a question for a one-year-old child, gently
speaking out of place. But how much importance can we give to this
almost from the cradle! �”Do not raise children – they will still
like you “- remember this statement as often as possible and not
train your baby. Better pay attention to your own
politeness – and not only with the child. Well, treat your baby like
a priori open, sincere creation. If a на улице, идя за
a pen with parents, a two year old tomboy will meet, let’s say
teacher and do not say hello, and begin to cry and hide behind
mom – instead of a thousand words it will tell not about his impoliteness, but about
how they treat him in kindergarten. Dalше вам решать, как
be with the truth revealed. The main thing – to hear and feel the crumbs.
And to say “thank you” and “please” he will learn from your
an example.

Читаем также: Haveдобный ребенок. Is it always
is obedience good?

Myth number 5. “Education without punishment does not happen”

When parents are not tuned to the inner world of the child, they are not
understand the motives of his behavior. Both good and bad. Here is и
there are no humane instruments of influence – only manipulations,
threats and punishments. Be an assistant, not a supervisor:
talk to your inner child and he will explain to you
almost any situation. If a, конечно, вы в ладу с собой (ваш
the inner child must sincerely wish well and not revenge for
own childhood – it happens when we act impulsively, and
then we justify ourselves). Punishment is not needed. Or at least
least, they will stop looking like an outpouring of anger of an adult
relation to the small.

We read on the topic of prohibitions and punishments: 

  • To punish a child for random misconduct?
  • 8 loyal ways to punish children. How to punish
    child for disobedience
  • Why not spank a child – 6 reasons
  • 15 signs that you are too hard on the child
  • What can and cannot be forbidden to a child.

Haveвы, в нашем с вами детстве, во многом по незнанию, понятия
�“Education” and “punishment” were almost synonymous. �”Mom is not
кричит – мама воспитывает!», «Have папы для тебя одно лекарство от
of all whims – vitamin er (belt)! ”- remember such statements?
For some reason, it was thought that without this we would grow spoiled
uncontrollable, and generally unacceptable to society. now we
forced to break the stereotypes that have penetrated our minds under the influence
our parents. It is necessary to eradicate both at the level of consciousness,
and at the level of reactions, impulses. Child without coercion
obeys when he feels that his parents are always on his
side, tuned to him and is with him in full
interaction. And this is really awesome!

Читаем по теме education:

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  • Особенности психологии education детей до года
  • 7 ошибок education, которые мешают детям добиваться
    of success
  • Top of 10 mistakes of parents in raising children
  • Как воспитать ребенка в спокойствии любви — 25
    main council

5 принципов позитивного education детей

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