The ability to bring an apology is one of the most important.
human skills to be taught from childhood. Without him
one cannot imagine the development of a responsible, self-sufficient and
adult personality. However, not all children are able and, most importantly, willing
admit your mistakes. How to teach a child to apologize when it
really necessary and important to the people around you?
Why do you need to teach children to ask for forgiveness?
Children do not want to apologize for completely different reasons: one
the child is unconscious of his guilt, another imitates his parents, the third
– by nature. In addition, we forget that sometimes we teach ourselves
children be hard and give change to the abuser. But this
important skill, as the ability to bring a sincere apology, we pay
However, the need to apologize to the one who offended
not a mere formality. In children aged one and a half or two
For years, social relationships have already begun on the playground.
Here not only friendship and sympathy is born, but also occur
first clashes. It is important to teach the child to go out independently.
with honor from conflicts. Indeed, over the years, the number of contacts only
will increase, and collisions, unfortunately, can not be avoided. So
that the ability to admit your mistakes and live in harmony with other people
useful to a successful person in later life.
Teach children to apologize
It is important for the child to understand: to ask for his faults a little
Forgiveness, you need to bear responsibility for them. How is it
Part 1. Helping your child understand what an apology means
- Start at an early age. About importance
an apology can tell a two-year-old child. Of course,
at first he will not understand why he should say “forgive” to another
boy just because he took his favorite
a toy But, as you know, repetition is the mother of learning.
- Explain what is right
apology. Tell me that the real apology consists of
a few parts and mumble “sorry” will not be enough.
For example: “Excuse me for knocking over your turret. To me
pity, it took you a long time to build it. You
will you forgive me? ”
- Tell us about the importance of voice and body language. That
as a person asks for forgiveness, sometimes as important as the self
apology. Explain that the malicious tone, the crossing of the fingers,
lowering eyes speak of insincerity and can hurt even more
person You can say “I’m sorry I hurt you” with a different
mood and ask your baby what option he is more
- Watch out for the seriousness of the apology. Some
children easily say “sorry” to avoid long notations
or punishment. This means that the baby does not feel guilty.
for his misconduct, but really did not learn anything else except
pronouncing the right words. A child of two years does not understand
why the offended side is still pouting, although he already “asked
forgiveness. ” Try to explain the importance of sincere apologies, and
older children recommend reading books with poems and fairy tales
on this topic.
- Learn by example. All people
make mistakes and parents in relation to their own baby
also not always right. If you make a mistake, be prepared
admit it, but refrain from long explanations. Try
to be specific: “I’m sorry I screamed at you, honey. It was
wrong”. Your act will teach the child that each person can
to be wrong, but it is very important to apologize and move on. Not
be afraid to drop your credibility, remember to be able to ask for forgiveness –
a sign of maturity and wisdom!
Part 2. Teaching apologies to children 2-5 years
- Focus on the rules of conduct.
Most kids of 2–3 years of age do not understand the importance of an apology and
empathy because they are self-centered and focused on
own desires. The needs of other people for them are still
obscure: think, selected a machine from Misha! Instead of
demanding insincere apologies from children, you need to focus
on the rules that the child must follow to avoid
conflicts in the future. For example: “do not hit the other guys”, “share
your toys with brother “, etc.
- Explain on the example of a child. Medium children
preschool age (3-5 years old) is easier to explain the importance of sincere
apologies as they begin to understand cause and effect
communication. Show your child by his example how he feels offended.
man: “Imagine that your friend Dima hit you in kindergarten,
but for you for some reason no one stood up. And Dima did not become you
Apologize. How would you feel? ”Similar“ fitting ”
emotion will allow the baby to understand how painful it was for the offended
- Teach to sympathy. Teach baby
sympathize with the injured comrade. Although it is also too small for
empathy, but you can still help him understand his emotions
other people. �“Look at Katya. She rubs her fingers on which
you come. She is very sick, she even cries. Let’s check everything
is okay with her? So дети начинают понимать связь between their
the actions and reactions of other children.
- Tell us about the consequences. Apologies nothing
mean if the wrong behavior continues. Sometimes parents
pay too much attention to the words forcing the child to ask
forgiveness, but do not correct bad behavior, which causes
Problems. Warn him of the possible negative consequences.
his misdeeds: “If you continue to offend other guys in the nursery
site, we will not come here. And even if we come, then
no one wants to play with you. You will like it if your
comrades stop talking to you? “
Part 3. Teaching apologies to children 5-7 years
- Understand why a preschooler is hard to apologize.
From the age of five, children already understand better what is
good and bad. They develop sympathy, but it is not
means that it will be easier for them to ask for forgiveness. Yes, they are no longer
so selfish, but they have other feelings – fear, confusion and
unwillingness to lose face to others.
- Keep neutrality. You probably often
had to hear words like “he did it!” or “he
first started! ”Explain to the children that once the conflict has occurred, they are both
must regret it. Stop requesting an apology
conflict, spreading the children on different sides. Distract for some
time to calm down, recognize offenses and restore good
- Offer your help. To overcome fear
or embarrassment in children, come to their rescue. Tell another
baby, that you and your daughter (or son) ask him for forgiveness,
it was not on purpose, and now your child will be more attentive.
By the way, this is how you achieve several goals at once. First of all,
help to bring an apology, and secondly, show how you need
do it. If the offense was serious, words alone are few. Let be
the guilty will help to build a pyramid, to build the same
sand castle or draw a more beautiful picture.
- Encourage children to apologize in their own way. Not
Be sure to ask for forgiveness strictly according to your suggestions.
to the algorithm. Notкоторым детям легче просто обнять того, кого они
offended, or give a card with the words of an apology. For the first time
try to be close to the children to make sure that the action has passed
successfully and all sides of each other understood and forgiven.
- Say that you are proud of the child. If baby
apologized on his own, even feeling indignant or embarrassed
because of the conflict, be sure to tell that you are proud of his adult
act: “The recognition of their own mistakes is a sign of courage and
even wisdom. I am very happy and truly proud of you! ”
- Teach to forgive. Explain to the child that
making an apology is only part of the reconciliation process
friend or brother. For real “healing” relationships offended
the person must “drop the charges,” saying, “Everything is fine” or “I
I forgive you. Show on your own example, forgiving the baby for
his misdeeds and not remembering later his bad behavior.
Peace means peace!
We also read:
- 10 reasons for poor child behavior
- Why are children rude?
- 8 loyal ways to punish children. How to punish
child for disobedience
- 12 signs of a spoiled child
- 15 signs that you are too hard on the child
Raising a child’s ability to realize their own wrong and
to apologize for the improper act is one of the main
tasks wise parents. And you tell your baby,
for what, when and what words you need to ask