Not all men manage to save their first marriage.
Some families break up when relationships come to a standstill by
various reasons. Children suffer the most – they are forced to
be “between two fires.” If a man makes a decision
remarry, his second wife is also not easy – you have to
communicate with the children of her husband from his first marriage. Unfortunately not
All the girls manage to find common language with them. How to learn to get along
with children from spouse’s first marriage? How to take them? How not to allow
negative emotions destroy your own family?
Communication husband with children from the first wife – how it can
When a man starts a new family, conflicts often arise
between the parties. Children suffer the most in this situation, and
no matter who they stayed with – with mom or dad. New companion
husband is unlikely to be able to immediately fall in love with other people’s children, which is why they
accounts twice as hard. And what situations might face
- Children from the first wife live with their mother, and their father
continues to maintain relations with them – comes to visit them,
takes to himself during the holidays, gives gifts. New spouse
you have to endure frequent visits from children and being nice to them, although
her soul, this situation is annoying;
- Dad does not communicate with children from the first family, does not participate in their
education, and the former wife is harassing calls, demanding participation in their
of life. It infuriates both the man and his new
- If the child has already matured, he visits his father in his house,
sometimes it remains to spend the night. New spouse это не нравится, но она не
may affect circumstances;
- The children remained in the care of her husband and live with him (in his
desire or by court order). Then a new companion will take
on their education.
The current spouse needs to make every effort to
keep father’s relationship with his children. To contribute to this,
wrong behavior should be avoided. Which one
- You can not forbid them to see each other;
- Do not be annoyed when children come to visit dad;
- Do not make scenes, accompanying them with the words: “Whose children for you
- Do not be jealous of the husband’s ex-wife, do not put them out on his children
anger and irritation;
- Do not commit rash acts that would lead to
break the relationship.
How to act new spouse to keep the world
- When the husband’s child comes to visit, try to help your spouse
take it well;
- Remind when a child has a holiday or any significant
- Trying to create a pleasant atmosphere at home for father and children
it was comfortable to communicate. Positive emotions will help kids
it is easier to postpone the divorce of parents;
- If the child lives with dad, the new wife should accept it.
like own. It is important to learn to respond calmly to visits.
and calls of the former spouse, because she is a mother, her participation in the life of children
- Accept the fact that the child from her husband’s first marriage is
part of his life, it can not be changed. There are only two options –
take a spouse with his children or look for no burdened past
- Treat him and his children with equal love, care,
share gifts, food and clothes, create for everyone
How to stop experiencing jealousy and hatred of children
Why the second wife may experience in relation to children
husband’s negative feelings – anger, hatred and jealousy? For that is
a few reasons:
- The woman does not have a child.
- She does not like children at all.
- New wife is jealous of the former.
- A woman does not want to share her husband with anyone at all.
- Greed – you have to spend a lot on keeping a child
- Insult – the girl believes that her husband is more concerned about the welfare
his children than her own.
How to cope with these emotions?
- It is important to realize that a man cannot erase from his life
children from the first wife, he will keep in touch with them –
see, call, buy gifts. There are times when fathers
cease all relations with the former family, but it happens
- Never ask a husband to choose between you and his child,
more often the choice will not be in your favor.
- Try to find an approach to his children, try to become him.
a friend. The spouse will certainly appreciate this, he will be happy knowing that
you love his kids like yours.
- If you have negative feelings for his ex-wife, do not
splash them on the kids.
How to build friendships with children from first marriage
The main thing is to put yourself in the place of a child – imagine what
him in a new family? It does not matter, he constantly lives here
or comes to visit dad. He looks like a little kitten,
lost in an unfamiliar place. If your house often arise
scandals and scenes, expressed discontent about the former family,
then the children seem to be “at ease”. But yours
the main task is to gain their authority to create trustees
relations. How to do it?
- If the child is open to talking with you and easy makes contact
do not push him away. He should not think what’s stopping your
relationship with his dad;
- Children have the right to be jealous of your father, because you came to his
life later. Show in practice that you do not fill in everything
spouse free time. Help your spouse organize
joint walks with your son or daughter
join the company. Jointly experienced pleasant moments
bring people together;
- Living in the role of a good stepmother, do not overdo it. Not necessary
lisp with a child, pull a smile, flood him with gifts
and convince that you are delighted with him. Kids always feel
false It is clear that immediately loving someone else’s child is almost
impossible, but also to play the audience should not. Act
gently and gradually. Step, the other, the third. Over time you
get used to each other;
- Do not put the interests of your children above the interests of your spouse’s child.
Treat everyone equally, although it is not easy;
- Accept the fact that the husband continues to communicate with his ex-wife,
– it is necessary and inevitable. Tame your jealousy she
meaningless, because the man has already made a choice in your favor. If you
do not destroy the relationship yourself with stupid acts, the husband will love
How do father to keep relationships with children from
Men with high self-esteem may not experience discomfort
from the realization that two women are vying for him. If
This situation did not affect children, it could not be taken in
Attention. Therefore, the man who married again, and now he has
there are children in the first and in the second family, you need to correct yourself
to lead. What should he remember and how to act?
- Respect the feelings of the new spouse. Communicate with the former so that not
give a reason for outbursts of jealousy to a new spouse;
- Become a good father for children from both the first and second
to give them the same support, to devote time to each of
- If you обижены на первую жену, это не повод уходить от детей,
because they love you as before;
- Whatever the “contagion” of your ex, be higher than this
situations: never say anything bad about her – nor your shared with
her children, or a new spouse;
- When a new companion tries to make friends with your
children, find a common language, give her support. She really
difficult to hold offense and pacify their jealousy;
- Create a relationship so transparent with your ex-wife that
нынешняя могла быть полностью уверена в you. So you will avoid
misunderstandings and quarrels on the topic: “Again did you go to your ex?”,
then you don’t have to explain what the mother of your children asked
help her with the baby.
Let the children and not your family, and husband, you are able
make them happy. Try to build with them good and
strong relationship, then in your family reign real
peace and harmony.
Jealous husband to his child from his first marriage …
I have a terrible feeling of jealousy for my husband’s child from
first marriage. I do not say anything to my husband, but the flames inside me
jealousy. And I myself can not understand why. Baby already
big, 10 years. Но мой муж тратит на него своё время и Attention. AND
it hurts me. I read an article about what’s good, what
a man communicates with a child from his first marriage, but it’s not me
How not to be jealous of the husband to the child from the previous wife