How to encourage a child?

Parents of each child, wanting to raise him
obedient, they resort to various methods: explanations, punishments,
beliefs and, of course, rewards. But in order to achieve
truly decent results, you need to know how to
reward the baby. Is it possible to praise children? Should
use money as a reward? How and for what actions
Need to praise a child?

Как поощрять ребенка

We buy children ice cream, if they are obedient, chocolate, if
they behave quietly, sometimes even give out money if they bring
из школы хорошие fromметки. We call them “good boy” or
�“Good girl” if they do what pleases us. For
modern and discerning parents disciplinary methods
impacts are already remnants of the past. Why use a whip if
Is there gingerbread on hand? Meanwhile, reward and praise thaw in
yourself a lot of tricky and sometimes insidious moments.

When rewards can hurt a child

That praise and reward stimulate the development of the child,
убедитесь, что они не вредят вашим с ним fromношениям.

  1. Rewards force children to seek approval. Instead of
    получать удовольствие from процесса творчества или получения знаний,
    they try to impress other people. While listening
    exclamations of his grandmothers who adore him: “Good girl! Smartest kid on
    light! ”- the child risks becoming an egoist.
  2. When children are bribed by rewards for “good” behavior,
    then they soon learn to understand how to manipulate parents while playing
    ту роль, кfromорую from них ждут. They become obedient
    superficially to flatter adults or produce on them
    impression. Honesty suffers.
  3. Do not belittle the praise of the dignity of another child: “Your
    the picture is a thousand times better than Dima’s. ” If the baby will
    compete, then let him do it only with himself, improving
    each time its results.

Rules encourage children

Если вы хfromите добиться действительно достойных результатов в
raising your baby should know how to properly

  • Praise not the child himself, but his

After excessive praise the child may appear
high self-esteem and high self-conceit. Если вы хfromите
praise him for the cleaned toys, do not rush to say: “What are you
Well done! ”Better say:“ The room after your cleaning has become clean.
So nice to come here now. ” Be sure it is due
way to evaluate your words and try again to deserve them.

If your daughter brought you a beautiful picture, do not say
recklessly: “You are a real artist and draw better than anyone!”
may be upset if the next picture does not get so high
evaluation or will not so successful. Pay her attention to those
моменты, кfromорые вам особенно понравились: «Какое красивое дерево
you painted It is just as alive. And how many amusing with him
zaychat! “So you not only show genuine interest in
creativity of the child, but also avoid assessing it

Compose your praise in such a way that the kid himself could conclude
about their skills. If your son helped carry the heavy box,
you can instead say “how strong you are with me” say about
how difficult it was to raise it. The child will independently make
conclusion: he is strong, mom and dad need it.

  • Point out the child’s own feelings when
    achieving the result

Instead of хвалить ребенка или награждать за рабfromу,
научите его сосредfromачиваться на том удовольствии, кfromорое он
получил from процесса выполнения. Children are born with natural
interest in creativity and activity, and each new achievement
fills them with admiration and joy. It is these emotions feed
child perseverance and desire to achieve the goal. When you see,
that the baby has learned to ride the “iron horse”, support him: “I
I see you liked the fact that you now ride the bike yourself “or
�“I’m glad you did it. You look very pleased
yourself! “Well, as a consolidation of skills, you can organize
bike ride in the park. By the way, the top 10 models
tricycle wheelchairs for children

  • Do not praise children for natural

Psychologists and educators do not recommend considering sociality.
a small child with something unusual. If the kid has done something
useful, for example, dressed himself, put away the dishes, do not express
admiring exclamations surprise his social skills.
Laudatory phrases: “You are such a smart girl!”, “Wow, you could
wash the dishes! ”- make the child doubt that you believe in
his strength Он должен понимать, что сам способен на многие deeds,
without additional and often inappropriate praise.

  • Do not encourage money

Дети, кfromорые получают деньги за вымытую посуду или вынесенный
garbage, often focused only on the external result. Plates can
poorly washed, bag of garbage thrown near the house –
most importantly, parents should give them a stipulated amount. Much
важнее, чтобы ребенок ощущал удовольствие from процесса: счастье from
помощи родителям, радость from новых знаний.

Если вы хfromите, чтобы старший дошкольник учился распоряжаться
money, do not pay for creative activities or help
home. When he becomes a schoolboy, then you can give pocket
money for daily expenses.

We also read:

  • Children and money: 10 mistakes of financial education
  • Kids and pocket money. How to teach a child correctly
    fromноситься к деньгам

What can be used to promote instead of money

If you like the proper behavior reward system itself,
но вы не хfromите, чтобы ребенок «зарабатывал» деньги, попробуйте
pick up any convenient analogue for you. It can be buttons,
bright beads or coffee beans. Затем нужно вырабfromать вместе с
малышом систему, согласно кfromорой, например, уборка в комнате будет
�”Cost” two coffee beans. And be sure to get him a special
баночку, в кfromорой он будет прятать свои сокровища.

Remember that the promotion must be reasonable. Kid
должен суметь за неделю зарабfromать на что-то крупное, иначе у него
there will be no incentive to move on. As a reward may
выступать совместное посещение детского центра, поход в цирк
или кинfromеатр.

И все же у данного метода немало прfromивников, кfromорые считают,
that in this way the child can grow up spoiled and will
obey parents only when it gets

When choosing a reward form for a child, always consider it.
individuality. The praise and reward must be applied extremely
caution, as excessive use of them can turn into
direct duty of adults. Try to make your
good intentions did not cause the spoiled baby.


We also read:

  • To punish a child for random misconduct?
  • How to raise children: carrot or gingerbread?
  • How to raise an honest child
  • 16 ways to make a child happy
  • TOP of 10 mistakes in parenting

How to encourage children. Psychologist tips

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