How to distinguish development problems from badparenting: 4 alarms

Moods and disobedience are the norm for all children,
who are just entering the path of socialization and do not yet know the rules
behavior in society. The problem is that when a child is completely
small, it can be difficult for parents to understand its nature
aggressiveness, hysteria, inattention. What is it – problems with
development of the baby, which require treatment to a neurologist and others
to specialists? Or the odd behavior is explained by the usual
lack of education? Tips from a professional psychologist will help
parents find answers to these questions.


Test for manners

To quickly understand the reason for the oddities in a child’s behavior,
Mom and Dad are useful for a few days to become the ideal parents.
In this period of time in any situation should be saved
calm, do not shout at the baby, do not scold him, do not show
annoyance and discontent. Ideal parents do not need
require perfect behavior from the child, because he does not yet own
etiquette, good manners, not fully responsible for his words and
actions. In this case, your requirements for the baby should keep
objectivity, consistency and consistency with actions
other family members.

If the problem lies in the mistakes of education, during
experiment baby’s behavior will improve. Of course, he did not immediately
will turn into an angel. However, feeling positive and understanding with
the side of the parents, the child will be more willing to listen to them, will begin
agree to fulfill their requests. The main conclusion of the test
воспитанность таков: чтобы ребенок вел себя хорошо,
parents should be attentive to him, responsive and

When you behave yourself, the child also behaves
it is better.

Behavior diary

If during the experiment did not appear positive dynamics,
It should highlight the main problem in the behavior of the baby – the one that
Parents are most worried. Maybe,
ребенок надолго замыкается в себе или, наоборот, закатывает
prolonged tantrums. Watch what provokes
such reactions as the child behaves during these periods, making
relevant entries in the diary. In the future this
поможет специалисту поставить диагноз и составить
recommendations for education or treatment.

During observations, and indeed in any situation,
you can not blame the kid that he does not obey and
grieves parents.
Adults need to understand that a child
too suffering. Every baby wants to get from mom and dad
encouragement, hear approving words. If he does not deserve
because of his bad behavior, maybe he just doesn’t
able to behave differently.

Completing the diary, you should pay special attention to:

  1. Date and time. Deviations in behavior and
    mood swings in babies are often provoked
    drowsiness, fatigue, bad weather, unpleasant sounds and even
    too bright or dim light in the room.
  2. Thirst and hunger. Moods and tantrums can
    serve as SOS signals that indicate that the child should
    feed and water. From the hungry baby can hardly be required
    perfect behavior. Even adults, skipping the next reception
    foods often become nervous and unable to concentrate
    attention to anything.
  3. Temperature Any pediatrician will say that the child
    better to feel a little cool than sweat in too warm
    clothes. It is difficult for kids to endure heat – it becomes physically
    bad, but there is no time for parental requests and requirements. At that
    at the same time, a frozen child may also remain deaf to your
    requests and requirements.
  4. Reactions to praise and censure. Endorsements and
    censures are tools that help parents raise
    little man. If a child is happy when he is praised,
    gets upset when he is scolded, these are positive signals. With his
    development, most likely, everything is fine, but the problem lies in
    parenting mistakes.
  5. The presence of the audience. Children quickly realize that with
    With the help of manipulations you can achieve a lot from adults.
    Observe how the child behaves at guests and in their
    the absence of. If in the presence of strangers he is a good boy, and scandals
    begin only alone with parents, the baby is well developed and

Now it’s time to familiarize yourself with common problems in
behavior of children who give concern to parents.

Symptom # 1. Aggressiveness


Adult any manifestation of aggression on the part of the child
seems unmotivated. To make sure of this, you need
try to put yourself in the kid’s place. For example, if desired
swing on a swing a child can push someone who is already on them
is sitting. Physical aggression is the easiest solution, because
asking and negotiating is much more difficult. If the baby is still bad
speaks, much less can he clearly express his
desire, as any adult would have done.

When to start worrying?

If the parents do not scold the child for a year, communicate with him
friendly, explain the rules of behavior, but he continues
behave aggressively with others, maybe he has Problems
with development. Parents should be worried and
auto-aggression – the desire of the child to specifically bite, scratch himself,
bang your head against the wall.
In such ways, the kid removes
anger and resentment, making it involuntarily.

The fact that the baby leads equally
yourself with loved ones and strangers. Usually children allow themselves
Liberties only alone with mom, dad, grandmother. WITH
kindergarten teacher or nanny they keep more

Читаем также: 10 игр на преодоление
child aggression


WITHимптом №2. Shyness or autism?


В 21 веке считается, что человек должен быть открытым и
sociable, sociable, to succeed in a career and
personal life. If the kid prefers quiet games alone,
little contact with peers in the sandbox, parents
perceived at best as egoism, and at worst – as autism.
It is important to understand that the characters and temperaments are different for everyone. A wish
being alone can also be a psychological “property” in which
There is nothing wrong.

When to start worrying?

Parents should sound the alarm if their child is not at all
seeking to communicate with anyone: not participating in noisy games, not
leaves the room even to those guests who brought him gifts
ignores familiar children and generally contacts only some
family members. To exclude autism, it is important to trace
whether the baby is less shy when communication lasts for some
time. If, for example, by the end of a children’s holiday or
he “thaws” out of a friendly conversation, then it’s about the usual
isolation Otherwise, it is necessary to reduce it to
to the psychologist.

Читаем также: Если ребенок ни с кем не
friends: struggle with child loneliness

WITHимптом №3. Inattention


Many parents complain that their children can not long
concentrate on one lesson, make mistakes because of
carelessness. Adults believe that this will negatively affect
grades in school. In fact, parents are often unnecessarily
demanding. Важно помнить, что до 6 лет малыш способен
maintain a high level of performance for only 15-20
Then he gets very tired and his performance
inevitably reduced. It is very important that his motivation
constantly maintained with rewards. Then success will be
much higher, and the learning process itself will cease to be hard labor.

When to start worrying?

A truly alarming signal is an impossibility for a child.
концентрироваться на чем-то более 5 minutes This applies to all kinds of
activities. If the kid quickly loses interest in reading, but
hours diligently puts figurines from the designer, it means parents
just pick him the wrong job. Watch what and
when distracting a child. If he prefers any activities
meaningless walking around the house is not a good sign.

Читаем также: Как научить ребенка быть

WITHимптом №4. Increased activity


Every child is an inquisitive restless who needs everything.
See, touch, try on the tooth. This ordinary nursery
trait can be easily confused with hyperactivity. But still there is one
important feature of “normal” activity: it must be worn
productive and focused. If you understand what
the goal is behind those or other actions of the child, which means the reasons
for anxiety are absent. When a healthy kid climbs the closet,
he imagines himself a mountaineer or looking for a hidden mom
sweets. A hyperactive child just does it without
a specific goal.

When to start worrying?

Parents should start to worry if excessive activity
the child makes him perform awkward and dangerous acts
that threaten his health. For example, if a kid jumps with
большой высоты, если ребенок лезет к большим собакам во дворе,
runs out on the road, not responding to adult warnings. Such
In cases, specialist advice is required.

Читаем также: Ребенок-ураган: как
deal with hyperactivity

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