How to cope with children “want” – indulge ornot?

Children often beg for something, but their endless “want” is often
contrary to the wishes of the parents. Moms and dads stubbornly resist
the whims of the child, justifying it by the absence of extra money or
educational goals. Psychologists express another point
view. They explain that for refusing to fulfill the desires of the little ones
hiding complexes of adults.

What are they?

  1. When parents themselves were children, adults did not perform
    their desires.
    So they suffered psychological trauma,
    making you think their requests are ridiculous and impracticable. Matured
    they themselves abandoned their desires, and numerous “want”
    children now seem to them to be something that goes against
    by reality.
  2. Fear of public censure. If baby
    begging for something, parents start to worry that
    think around. Worst of all, it happens when a child
    begging for toys in a store where there are a lot of strangers around.
    Unknowingly blaming others for inappropriate behavior
    children on their parents that makes them embarrassed and really
    feel guilty.
  3. Rejection of discontent. It happens when
    parents are not ready to separate the child from themselves. This happens more often with
    moms – they can perceive themselves and the child as a whole, while
    he will not reach adolescence. Once there is unity, it means
    desires must also coincide. Parents want to feel loved
    and understand that for this they must be necessary for children. Until
    the child is a baby, this need is felt in the physical plane. By
    as children grow up, parents seek to translate it into
    psychological level. As a result, they sometimes form such
    strong attachment that she lasts until old age, and their
    because of this, a matured child cannot adjust his personal
    a life.

These are the opinions of psychologists, in some ways they are really right. Only
What should parents do when they hear from a child: “I want it!”? Worth
whether to constantly indulge the whims of sons and daughters, because now they
Wishes go far beyond vital needs?

Modern children are very different from those who grew up in difficult
1990s, and even more so in Soviet times. They are spoiled by many
entertainment, fashionable clothes, gadgets. Bad dress
one of the novelties is a bad form in the children’s team. Guys have
which there are no new smartphones with touch displays, sometimes even
ridiculed in school. Most children’s desires are dictated by society and
changeable fashion, but it all hurts the family budget.
Brand items, new models of iPhone and iPad, model cars and
dolls, and also payment of training, classes in circles and sections, treatment,
pocket money … large sums come out which for
many parents become overwhelming.


Children’s desires are limited not only due to the limited
finance, but also for the safety of the child. The looks of kids attract
knives, forks, needles, other sharp and cutting objects, but
they can only be used from a certain age and under
parental supervision.

There are many similar conventions, and you need to talk about them.
true. If there is no money for a new toy, you do not need to shout, scold
and punish a child for tantrums. Set him down and explain
in a calm tone: “If we buy you a car now, in the evening we’ll
there will be nothing to eat. I only have money for porridge and milk.
Do you want this? ” To baby understood the meaning of your words,
wait until he calms down and can perceive your
explanations. Do not react with aggression to hysteria, do not indulge her.
Byговорите с ребенком, когда он перестанет плакать и кричать.

The smart way out is to give your baby gifts that allow your
revenues. Byясняйте, что мама и папа зарабатывают деньги с трудом,
therefore, they need to be spent on the necessary things. When will
surplus, then parents will gladly make a gift. This will allow with
childhood teach the crumbs reasonable savings. More scientists advise
offer the child to earn a toy: let him do the dishes,
takes out the garbage, does other chores for a certain
fee. In this case, and the gift will bring more satisfaction.

Читаем также: карманные деньги ребенка

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