Sometimes parents find it difficult to find a common language with their
children, so that communication with them turns into endless disputes and
conflicts. Psychologists say that if you change behavior
adult in relation to the offspring, then a huge number of problems
in upbringing may not arise. How then to interact with
ребенком, чтобы избежать многочисленных conflicts с родителями и
Active Hearing Rules
Not always even a schoolboy can accurately express their feelings if
he failed, quarreled with someone, offended, tired or when
he was treated unfairly. What can we say about the preschooler! But
подобные ситуации могут стать причиной conflicts и трудностей во
peer interactions. Parents need to
to hear your child, to show that they know about his problems, to help
voice his experiences. In psychology, this method is called
Return to the conversation that the child told you, denoting
while his feelings – this is actively listening to him. there is
несколько основных правил общения с детьми с
using active listening.
- Be sure to postpone all personal matters when you want to chat with
a child. Do not look at the TV, do not communicate in social networks, do not
read the book – turn your face to it. Do not look at the child with
height of own growth: if it is still small, take it to
yourself on the handles or kneel down; if he is already a student
sit down next.
- Another powerful signal telling the child that you are ready for it
listen, is eye contact. Your eyes must
to be on par with the eyes of the baby.
- If your son is distressed, do not ask him questions. Let your
the response will be in the affirmative. For example,
the child says upset: “I will never play with Seryozha!”
ask what happened or whether he was offended by a friend. Answer
simply: “I understand. You offended him. ” Sorry children
overwhelmed with emotions that they can not share. BUT
phrase-question does not reflect your empathy. Voicing them
feelings, you help start a conversation.
- Occasionally repeat what you hear from a child, thereby
confirming that attentive to him. Try to speak it
feelings: “I understand that you knocked Dima because he called you names. You,
of course, he was very angry with him. ”
- Обязательно выдерживайте паузу в разговоре с a child. Break
in the conversation gives him a lucky case to sort out
own mood and experiences and pushes for more
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How to discuss the behavior of the child?
So, you listened to the child, but it does not mean at all that
You have achieved a solution to the conflict. With active listening you
only showed that they are not indifferent to his problems. Now same
you need to solve these same behavioral problems.
- Choose the right time to talk.
Suppose you are informed of a conflict with your offspring
classmate (classmate). Don’t start a serious conversation,
when he was upset and tired he came from school (kindergarten).
Let him rest first, have lunch, and only then proceed to
conversation. If you yourself returned wrapped (for example, with
parent’s meeting), rest for a while and switch to
- Find the pros
Do you like being criticized? Here and children feel at
comments offense and irritation. And yet criticize the wrong
the child’s actions are necessary. �”Sweeten” your not very pleasant
words are small, if possible sincere praise. For example:
you have a wonderful voice, but you can’t sing at lunch in kindergarten, ”
�“You are very good at handling the ball, but please play in
football is not in class, but on the field ”or“ I am glad that you are honest with me.
However, the next time you go to visit, ask me
- Offer a choice
Why is the child so actively resisting your instructions?
Psychologists answer: this is his natural upholding tactic
own independence. Чтобы избежать conflicts, предложите
children choice. For example: “What do you want for lunch: porridge or pasta?”,
�“Will you wash the dishes or take a walk with the dog?” Or “You yourself will wear
dress, or help you with buttons? “
By giving the child a choice, you allow him to think and
meditate on your own. The possibility of an alternative contributes to
increase children’s self-esteem. At the same time, adults, on the one hand,
retain control of the offspring, and on the other –
satisfy his need for independence.
- Ask your children for a solution.
This unusual tactic is especially effective with younger children.
school age, as they want more responsibility.
Ask the child: “Honey, you spend a lot of time waking up
and dressing in the morning. Because of this, you almost every day are late to
first lessons Yes, and I do not have time to work. I think it is necessary with
do something about it. BUT ты какое решение этой проблемы можешь
This question makes children feel
responsible and adults. They understand that and parents
There are not always ready answers to any problem. Wait on them
- Tell about your feelings
Talk with children about how you feel: “I’m absolutely not
arranges how you talk to me. BUT тебе бы хотелось,
to shout at you? ”Children over five years old are literally captured
ideas of justice, so be sure to understand your point
of view, unless, of course, you say it in the heat of an argument. Calmed down
the child is the most ardent defender and supporter of the golden principle:
�”Do as you wish to do to you.”
- Do not compare with other children.
And most importantly – never (especially in frustrated
feelings) do not compare your offspring with others, educated and
exemplary, in your opinion, peers. In your
the child has that special quality that distinguishes him from all
the rest of the children. BUT если уж назрела необходимость сравнения, делайте
this, by relating his past behavior to the present.
You can download from our Yandex
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наладить отношения с ребенком – скачать памятку
With the help of a competent approach to communicating with children, adults can
избежать ссор и conflicts в семье и проблем со сверстниками. AT
anyway, be sure to take your beloved child the way
he is. Try to listen to his wishes, gently express your
position, so you can not only decide, but also
возможности избегать conflicts.
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Mother’s secrets. Разрешение conflicts с ребёнком