How not to punish a child

No upbringing is complete without punishment, even the most
Patient parents once resorted to them. Child to whom
minor pranks are allowed, sometimes crossing the line, even realizing
what’s going wrong. With the child grows and the degree of his
misconduct.

It is important for parents to determine how necessary
наказание, и к каким мерам лучше не  прибегать.

Punishment should be a kind of lesson to allow
child to realize their own mistakes and no longer repeat them.

Как-нельзя-наказывать-ребенка


It is not punished

We will understand what the misdeeds of the baby do not require
penalties:

  1. Knowledge of the world and everything new. If a child
    incessantly dragging pebbles into his mouth, trying to touch the iron,
    checks the strength of the toys, the punishment is not appropriate. Such
    behavior is a natural reaction of the child, he knows the environment
    reality, trying to absorb information about objects and their
    properties. Of course, it is natural to a certain age,
    five-year-old baby with a pebble in the mouth, this is just simple self-indulgence.
  2. No experience. You should not punish the baby for
    inability to go to the pot, awkward movements, unconscious damage
    furniture, the selection of toys from the guys on the street. Perhaps your chad
    just not enough life experience and skills.
  3. Jealousy and affection. If your baby
    made a tantrum, not letting mom go to the store, or refused to play
    with a younger brother because of jealousy, this is not a reason for punishment. BUT
    incentive to sort out relationships, find out the causes of jealousy and
    available to explain the crumbs that mom can leave, but for nothing
    will not leave him.
  4. Immediacy. Kids are by nature naive and
    spontaneous, may blab the family secret, or even
    make up fairy tales. Punishment is best replaced by serious talk, like
    and in the case of simple negligence. Crumbs often appear
    fearlessness and spontaneity, it is important to make it clear to the kid what his
    actions will lead to trouble.
  5. Physiological needs. Punishment not
    should follow refusal of dinner, or constant demand
    going to the toilet when parents are very uncomfortable. Like any
    a person, a child may want and not want to eat, drink, go to
    restroom.

We also read: Наказывать или нет ребенка
for random misconduct?

Physical punishment

физическое-наказание


Psychologists claim that physical violence, constant slaps
and slaps lead to mental disorders even in adult
life, and during school years the child may not have time for subjects and
shun peers.

Children’s deceptions are also often associated with physical
punishments.

If your nerves are at the limit, exit the room. You
calm yourself and give the child a chance to remain without a viewer
his tantrums, or misdemeanor. The baby will come to his senses too
calm down. Most likely, he himself will come running after you if he is already
calm Do not go on the screams, and calmly explain what the baby
was wrong and take the promise so no longer
to do.

We also read:

  • Why not spank a child – 6 reasons
  • To beat or not to beat the child – the consequences of physical punishment
    children

Darkness

Never cover a child in a dark room, “so that I think.”
You can not use children’s fears as a way of reprimand. Little of,
that the baby feels rejected, it also suffers greatly
psyche. Punishments related to a child’s fears can lead to
propensity to suicide, paranoid inclinations, phobias.

ребенок боится темноты


If you decide to punish a child with loneliness, let him
left alone in a bright room, he will calm down, think and
draw conclusions. Be sure to later talk to the baby and
show forgiveness.

Screams

It is strange to try to shout down a scandalous child, or
his perekryvlyat. More often while parents scream, the baby stays in
stupor, not understanding what is happening. While the child is hysterical, he is small
capable of understanding his act and its consequences, therefore
it is better to distract the baby, to laugh, to turn his attention to
interesting object.

Small children perceive shouting as a physical punishment.

Watch yourself, control your anger.

крик


Threats

As punishment for misconduct, parents often simply threaten the child.
reprisal or refusal from walking, entertainment. They are not going to
to carry out the threat, and in the meantime the child is waiting and experiencing and not
understands why parents want to do that.

If you decide to punish a child, do it right away, or not
do at all.

Never take gifts so that your baby does not doubt your
sincerity when you bring him joy.

Food

Do not punish the baby, not giving him food, or forcing him to eat. You
do not want to spoil the baby’s health and digestion. Full value
nutrition is the basis of a child’s health, so food restrictions are not
will lead to nothing good. Another thing is if you refuse
sweet, if your baby is allergic, but in this case, find
alternative sugar-free candy
production using fruits and dried fruits.

Work

For a child, help to parents, work, activities should be
a matter of course, the usual components of life, and not
punishment. The child should not develop a stereotype that the work –
it is a punishment, not a necessary occupation.

On the contrary, it is necessary to give the baby to realize how pleasant it is to receive.
the fruits of their labor.

We also read: как приучить ребенка
help around the house

help around the house


Comparison

It’s very painful for a child to hear that you think someone is better.
him It’s a mistake to think that comparing a baby with other children,
you motivate the child to become better. He really can
try to resemble the object of comparison, but it will
feel unloved, rejected. Baby can
hypertrophied to treat their shortcomings, only closing
in himself and trying to prove to you that he is good.

Try by all means to make the child understand that you are his
love anyone, with all the flaws, under any circumstances, he
for you the best.

BUT сравнивать малыша можно с ним самим, «ты вчера был таким
wonderful, obedient, that would be so now. “

Never use the words “I don’t love you,” “you
I don’t need this, ”“ go to another mom, ”etc. Such phrases
hurting hurt, causing doubts in your love and increasing
complexes.

Ignore

As a punishment, of course, you can for a while
leave the crumb alone, but do not ignore him for a long time.
The kid may decide that he is so bad that they do not want him
to communicate. Ignore – по сути, мощная манипуляция, она способна
to create in the child emotional dependence, a feeling of fear and
alienation. The thought that he might be rejected by loving
people cause panic in crumbs.

игнорирование-ребенка


You же не стремитесь к такому исходу событий, значит, и рамки
inortions you must comply with.

Memo to parents about punishments

  • One offense – one punishment, no need to lump it into a common
    a bunch of everything the child has done and invent a whole series
    punishments. Let the baby realize what he is punished for;
  • Do not forget to encourage the child, to praise and in every way
    cheer;
  • Bad behavior and actions have their time limits, not
    need to remember the bad the next day or even later. what
    passed, then passed, the moment missed;
  • Goodbye, be sure to let the child understand that he is forgiven, and
    you are not angry again and are ready to lead a normal life and communicate as
    earlier;
  • Do not humiliate, call and punish in public. Superfluous
    complexes to your child to anything;
  • Make the child afraid not of the punishment itself, but
    opportunities to offend people close to him;
  • Any punishment must be fair. If in doubt –
    do not punish;
  • Always find out the reason for the child’s behavior.

Remember that your punishments should never
affect the physical and mental health of the child. Manifest
любовь  и заботу, создавайте дружественную спокойную атмосферу
in family. Love a child for what he is.

We also read: 

  • 8 лояльных способов наказания children. How to punish
    child for disobedience
  • 7 gross mistakes of parents during quarrels with children
  • Is it necessary to punish a child in 3 years: the opinion of parents and
    psychologist

Как правильно наказывать children:

Irina Mlodik “You can not punish a child!”

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