Help grandmother after childbirth: the arguments “FOR” and�”VS”

Traditionally, after giving birth, a young mom helps
grandmother. Affairs becomes a great deal, and an experienced assistant here as
here

Everything would be great, but it turns out that my grandmother
own ideas and methods for the care of the baby.
She does not recognize modern literature, the pediatrician doesn’t
authority. She does everything in her own way.

The grandmother-helpers, besides the positive sides, have
negative. Then the question arises: Do we need help?

помощь бабушки после родов


Arguments for”

Inexperienced mother with a baby is hard to handle
on their own. What advantages await her if nearby
grandmother-assistant?

Help around the house. A weighty argument! After
arrival from the maternity hospital work will be doubled. Need to cook
to eat, to clean the rooms, to wash, to stroke, to spread out the laundry,
run to the store … Here the help of my grandmother is invaluable.

At first, the baby often has to be fed day and night.
Because of this, a young mother does not get enough sleep, decreases
performance When the assistant is at hand, the work is done
faster, the husband is fed and there is time for the baby.

Communication With the advent of the baby girlfriends, friends,
sisters, acquaintances and colleagues remain out of reach.
It is possible to communicate only by phone, while the kid is sleeping.
If in the summer you can go for a walk with other moms, then
in winter, a woman with a baby is forced to sit in captivity.

Grandmother – the man with whom there will always be something to talk about
drink tea, gossip, distract from household chores.

Rest and free time. When to whom
look after the baby, there is time to sleep during the day
compensating for the night “inconvenience.” If you take care of in advance
baby nutrition, mom’s opportunities are greatly expanded …

Evening walk with her husband, run to her friend for a couple of minutes,
go to the cinema or cafe. But you never know what a woman wants. Even
stay alone, sending a grandmother with a child for a walk, too
relaxation. In addition, the proportions of young mothers during pregnancy
have changed. Time to update your wardrobe! Shopping for a woman is
always rest and therapy.

Formed attachment to the baby. Close
close relationships between people are established through communication.
Grandmothers are happy to communicate with the little ones. Give gifts,
babysit, lisping. The more time they spend together, the
stronger emotional connection between them.

It would not be a shame, but grandchildren who grow up with grandmothers and
grandparents are more loved. Natural factor! They are just to them
get used to. Therefore, visionary moms do not forget regularly
visit your parents and your husband.

Removed irritability. After родов жизнь
women change in an instant. Diapers, vests, nipples, night
feeding, baby crying knocked out of the rut. Sharply rebuild not
it turns out. Mom can not cope. Irritability occurs.

Thanks to the housekeeper clean and tidy, things are washed and
neatly folded, eat cooked on time, food in
refrigerator available. These little things create coziness and comfort young
mom Irritability goes away. She devotes more time to the baby
and this period is no longer perceived as “painful work”.

Useful tips. Time goes by but some
recommendations remain unchanged. How to bathe the baby, how to hold
his hands, how to wear a vest, how to talk to a baby,
what to do when your tummy hurts. Inexperienced moms feel
uncertainty, confusion, anxiety. But grandma is near. She is
will tell you everything will teach!

The ability to improve relationships. Not always
Daughters-in-law and mother-in-law develop relationships. Inviting a couple
months my husband’s mother to visit, have the opportunity to establish them. Living
under the same roof, caring for the baby, doing household chores and
communicating, people get closer. This is a good foundation for further
development of friendships.

We also read: Роль бабушки и дедушки в
parenting

Аргументы �”VS”

Inviting a grandmother to help, do not forget that this
a man with his own opinion and strong beliefs. Not always
help in joy. Sometimes the most coping is much easier and
calmer

Constriction when breastfeeding. First months
baby spends a lot of time at the breast. Expose this part of the body
have quite often. Grandmother in the house. Go to another
room is not an option, because you have to run all the time. Long
T-shirt – not comfortable! I want to see the face crumbs, correct and
help him. Shy young mom can not be avoided
discomfort.

Grief-helper. The concept of “order” is quite
relatively. Someone neatly puts things in the closet, someone
ideally exactly, but someone – just to out of sight. Not put there,
not so washed, not in time removed, not thoroughly washed … Grandma
does everything differently. On the one hand, to say uncomfortable –
offended, on the other – annoying. When patience will burst, do not escape
reproaches and offenses.

Instructions. Not always бабушкины рекомендации
go to help. Especially if they are imposed in tough,
uncompromising form. Views on care baby times
Soviet Union and modern are very different. If so decided
get a helper, bother to equip it with modern
literature. Talk in advance on this topic, prepare for
compromise.

And patience to help you, because to convince old women
pretty hard. Sometimes it fails even reputable doctors
pediatricians.

We also read: Решаем проблемы спора
generations: 5 situations when it is necessary to say “stop” to the grandmother and
grandfather


Dad’s communication with the baby is coming to naught. When
The father’s assistant in the house has no reason to “mess around” with the baby. At baby
there are nannies, and the man prefers to withdraw during this period.
Often the reason for this is the embarrassment in front of the grandmother.

In the first months, the father’s strong emotional bond is established.
with baby. If you miss this moment, then in the future dad do
it will be more difficult.

Convenient, but relaxing. Grandma was invited to
guests, she is glad to try to take all the efforts of a young family on their
shoulders. And will wash, and wash, and stroke, and eat will weld … And you
know, lie to yourself with the baby at your side and enjoy life. If a
grandmother did not move to you live forever, then soon heavenly life
will end. Mom will have to independently know all the charms
weekdays with a baby. Helper is good, but do not relax.
Every fairy tale comes to an end.

Indulges baby. Grandmothers love to babysit with
grandchildren. They are ready to wear them in their arms for days and rock them first.
requirement. You may find it funny, but babies quickly get used to
attention. Lie down yourself for 5 minutes on a pillow with a rattle,
it becomes unbearable for them. The assistant will leave, and mommy is not
will know what to do: whether to walk around the house with the baby,
whether to eat cook, wash, clean.

Husband does not help. All the while grandma
lives with a young family, the baby’s dad is suspended from care
for the baby. Some compassionate grannies even intentionally so
do under the pretext: “And I’m here for what?”

The head of the family is spoiled! Assistant will soon leave the house, and
a man can make the appropriate conclusion: once grandma could,
значит и жена справится on their own.

To argue is useless! Alas! You for grandma not
authority. She is вырастила двоих, троих и более детей. Better than any
pediatricians know how to swaddle a child, be sure to drink water and
remove the evil eye. You can talk to her, try to explain
to reason with She is сделает вид, что поняла и согласна. But only
a young mother over the threshold, three-four vests will be put on the baby and
inflame from head to toe in diapers. Then put the nipple in the mouth and
will be rocked on his hands, even if he has been fast asleep.

On the other hand, think about it, and not such a cons if you have
iron nerves.

Mom or mother in law?

In each family, as a rule, two grandmothers. When речь идет о
assistance, the woman first considers her mother. Not
this choice is always successful.

Mom-helper. Own person, near and dear.
You know each other for a long time and find a common language. Between you
disputes periodically arise, as in any normal family. You
learned to negotiate, give in to each other. If a нет — от помощи
better to give up. Excess hassle is no good.

Mother-in-law assistant. If a вы нашли общий язык и
get on, no questions. Husband’s mom may be too shy to say too much
or do something wrong. Sometimes a mother in law is the best choice.
Especially if you converge.

On the other hand, if the husband’s mother considers you a stupid, worthless
mother and forever teaches. From such a good helper do not expect – yourself
will be more expensive.

When в гости норовит приехать одна родственница, стоит вопрос:
accept or refuse. But what if there are two helpers?

When помощь предлагают обе бабушки

Mother and mother-in-law are asking for a nanny, and you do not know who
to refuse By choosing one, hurt the feelings of the other. how
act so that no one was hurt?

  1. Invite both. At the same time grandmother talk,
    get to know each other closer. True, the tips will crush doubly,
    but no one hurt.
  2. Deny to all. Under the pretext that you decide with
    husband to cope on their own in order to develop parental
    quality. And this is fundamentally important for you!

In what cases you should not refuse help

  • After тяжелых родов, операции, кесарева сечения.
  • When накопилась усталость.
  • The young mother has health problems.
  • Severe postpartum depression.
  • Born twins and more.

You давно знаете своих родных и знакомы с родственниками мужа.
Chat with them, find out their views, beliefs.
Analyze how loyal they are, how they compromise.
How much do you possess endurance and patience. Make a
The corresponding conclusion: accept help or refuse.

We also read:

  • 4 common types of grandparents
  • Solving the problems of a generational dispute: 5 situations when necessary
    сказать «стоп» бабушке и grandfather
  • Five times when grandparents should be stopped
  • how наладить отношения между ребенком и его бабушками и
    grandparents?
  • how не испортить ребенка бабушкой?
  • Grandma pampers her grandchildren and allows them everything – how to react
    to parents

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