Family psychologist Larisa Surkova: how to get outof the decree

Hello! My name is Tutta Larsen. This is “Adult
program “on TUTTA TV. Как вылезти из of the decree? Is there an answer to
this question? I hope we find him today with our expert.
psychologist Larisa Surkova. Here, Larisa:

Family psychologist Larisa Surkova: how to get out of the decree

Tutta: Are there any chances for a woman who is stuck
on maternity leave
interventions?

Лариса Суркова: Выкарабкаться? Well, of course,
there is. Конечно, жизнь есть и после of the decree и во время of the decree. She is
necessarily there, it exists. And it is very important that the woman herself
wanted this.

Tutta: We offer you only 5 steps to help
you return to a more or less active life and stay with it
good mom

Пункт 1. Хочу ли я выйти из of the decree и что это для меня
mean

Very often, we just do not understand what is at stake. After all, the decree
– this is not a feature that can be stepped over – and you have already left it,
here they are, open doors. Decree and exit from it are some
actions are changes in your life. So ask
ask myself: what do I want? What do I want to change? And on our already
the established tradition, try to write it on a piece of paper:
what changes i am waiting for

Item 2. Look at yourself in the mirror. Feel free to be with
frank

Go to the mirror, look at yourself rather critical
with a look. And say: “I guess I need to change something in myself.”
Not all, but, as a rule, some changes are needed. What would you like
in yourself change? I love this method when you come to
mirror with a marker that is well erased, and right on the mirror
you note: shorter hair, a longer skirt, legs straighter,
pounds to fit such a silhouette. They say they do that
plastic surgeons before the operation, they draw everything directly on the person.
And we draw on the mirror. Change yourself at least with the help of these
boundaries of this marker in the mirror. Clarify for yourself
you wanted to look like when the big world can do it again
contemplate.

Item 3. Solve family matters

Хуже нет, если вы вышли из of the decree на работу и приволокли с
a bag of problems. And your employer instead of getting
in your face a class worker who will solve his tasks,
to solve some business issues, gets new problems: “Oh, have
I’m sick, the child is not attached, the nanny is late, with my husband
general guard. ” You brought it all with you. Not! All leave
houses. Solve the question of who deals with children. Make a schedule.
If you bring someone to help, maybe a grandmother or a nanny,
There should be a specific schedule so that you do not pull.
Imagine you are sitting in a meeting, and your phone is breaking:
�”What now? Where are the socks? And what to eat? And what to take? “Everything is necessary
prepare in advance. Тогда вам будет спокойно выходить из of the decree.
You will be sure that peace and quiet are at home.

Читаем также: 7 аргументов не бояться
выходить на работу после of the decree

Item 4. Prepare children

Because this is the anchor (we have such a term in psychology –
anchor) that will hold you. If you will know that your
the child wouldn’t let you go if he was crying at home or in the garden, beating in
hysterical, you will think about it. You will not do your business
career, you will not solve questions on work, you will think
constantly about the child. Therefore, a very important point: we decided to go
из of the decree – дайте себе время. Выйти из of the decree – это не значит
tomorrow. Lay at least 2-3 months. This is the period required for
Adapt your children to new living conditions. This time will pass – and
you will come to work in a good mood, in a cheerful state of mind,
and be ready to solve any problems.

Item 5. You need to understand exactly how much it costs for you and for
вашей семьи ваш выход из of the decree

If it turns out that the salary that you will receive,
far below the money you have to invest in a nanny,
housekeeper, grandma, kindergarten, something else, then maybe
Your motivation will not be very long. Because how are we doing this to ourselves
see? I’m so all beautiful now, in heels, in a short skirt, in
office, here I have a coffee break, here I have lunch, talk to
girls. But when a person lives in this 2-3 months and
recalls that at home you can lie down for a lunch at
a couch with a little book while the child went to class
take a walk, I can go on vacation for 3 months, no one
to depend and not to wait for these two weeks, which also do not give in summer,
motivation starts to fade. Material component – she
still in our life is important. If your goal is just
get some good impressions
emotions, crack the tongues, switch, that is, dubious, then
better to think about how to organize your leisure. To
meet with friends to go to the theater with my husband, to arrange
some romantic evenings. Go hiking in the end.
Find a use for yourself in another.

Tutta: Say please, we have not discussed yet
the border is temporary, age, when, in principle, mom makes sense
задумываться о выходе из of the decree. Is this a year?

Лариса Суркова: На самом деле каждая семья
decides in his own way. Let’s be honest that mothers are different. there is
mothers are workaholics who are torn, who want to work, and on
feel comfortable at work and want to go there as much as possible
earlier. And at home they feel bad. They are uncomfortable with these diapers,
undershirts. Someone may have a year, someone may
be half a year. Because from the point of view of the child it’s still very important
the quality of time you spend with him, not just him
quantity.

Всегда есть возможность сделать работу из своего of the decree.

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