Crossing interests or how to calmlittle fighters?

Recently, I started a conversation with one friend, a child
which first went to kindergarten. I asked her how
passed the first day. With undisguised joy she replied that everything
fine: “In the morning I brought Nikita into the group, dressed him, left
no problem. I come in 2 hours, standing in the same place where I am
left.

Obviously, Nikita belongs to the category of timid and calm
kids Он простоял в ожидании своей мамы на одном месте
около 2 часов без слез, без истерик, без лишних движений.

During our walks we sometimes meet with Nikita and his mother on
the street, children play together in the sandbox. So, my son Artem
freely takes away from Nikita favorite toys and
tells him where to build a sand castle. And if it were
another child, capricious and perky, who will not allow
such an attitude, quarrels could not have been avoided.

A similar case has already happened to us on the playground. My
Artem faced “foreheads” with the same snooty kid, due to
what happened was a serious fight with attempts to finish off an opponent. Something
как мы, две мамы, остановили наших разбушевавшихся «воинов». AT
that moment I decided that I would no longer take my son to play that
pad, and also try to explain to him that the desired can
reach without a fight. My thoughts on the topic, and whether I am right,
made me pretty nervous. How to act
right in these situations?

маленькие дети деруться


Kids fighting

Давайте для начала разберемся в причинах драки
between children. Where do the roots of child aggression come from and why
Do babies afford this behavior? Psychologists believe that such
reasons for all 6.

  • Lack of parental attention

The explanation here is quite simple. Baby knows that at the moment
fights will immediately come running mom, leaving all his affairs, and will begin
understand what happened and who is to blame. Such behavior
characteristic of children in whose families happened not so long ago
replenishment. The child is afraid of losing the love he is used to,
he is terribly jealous of the newborn, worried, therefore
subconsciously does not invent anything better than to arrange a fight.
(read on the topic: children’s jealousy)

  • Inability to communicate differently

Not all kids can express their thoughts and desires with words,
therefore, sometimes they have to resort to physical effects.
Don’t let that scare you. Зачастую бывает так, что потаскав
друг друга за волосы или потолкавшись плечами, малыши уже
very soon continue to play peacefully. Over time, it still stands
to teach such fighters to explain themselves in a normal way.

  • Protection of their interests

When parents perceive their child as an individual, they have
There are no questions why the kid is fighting because of his toy.
Protect your belongings from any encroachment on them and dispose
they are at their discretion – his right. Therefore, when the words: “Give
my toy! “do not have the proper effect, they are already being used
fists.

дети-делят-игрушку


  • The way to get rid of excessive parental
    care

Непрестанный контроль иногда утомляет kids Difficult all the time
stay on top and meet my mother’s ideas about
perfect baby. The accumulated tension makes itself felt, and
the baby becomes like a corroded wolf cub. Try
�“Loosen your grip,” give your child some freedom and trust.
Then the fights can be completely forgotten.

  • Excessive activity is the result of hot
    temperament

Even adults, choleric by psycho, can not always
deal with yourself and pacify your ardor. What then to talk about
little babes? It is very difficult to control yourself at the moment.
stormy showdown, which is why temperamental kids
prove their “truth” in their fists.

  • Health problems

Hyperactivity, diffuse attention syndrome and increased
excitability is evidence of impaired health
baby If the mother was stressed during pregnancy
or childbirth was not entirely successful, children may be observed
some similar behavioral patterns.
They can not
write off on bad manners or riot.
Any your
suspicions of such violations must be expressed
to the neuropathologist.

Читаем также: Если ребенок ни с кем не
friends: struggle with child loneliness

What should parents do when children fight?

Point of view number 1. Do not climb – let them understand
yourself

�“Do not intervene in their relationship. How will they cope with
your problems in the garden, school? Mom will not be there!

AT принципе, да, когда мы говорим о детях старше 4 лет. What about
be with kids 2-3 years? Do you allow them to blow everything up and
прах, когда они делят место в песочнице или решают, кто
will play with a rubber donkey? Most children
готово биться до конца, чтобы заиметь желаемое
.

Every kid is absolutely convinced that the toy should go
for him, therefore, the fight usually lasts as long as the whole
sand in the sandbox will not be behind its side, and the donkey will not forever
lose their ears. ATмешательство взрослых в эту ситуацию
required These little kids still do not know how to negotiate, they
help is needed. Teach them to negotiate – it will become
the key to successful development of their personality.

Point of view number 2. Distract attention to something
outsider

When your child is hot and hears nothing around,
the only way is to change the situation. Grab it under your arm
and take off the clash. He will be able to understand what you say to him
only if calm down. Stay fit, don’t let your
anger take over emotions.

ATсе мы были детьми и понимаем, что без ссор в общении с другими
people do not manage. Kids at this age still not much
understand and therefore solve their questions accessible to them
in ways. Do not swear, try to understand them
feelings and help cope with them.

Viewpoint number 3. Show how fun it is to play
together

The most difficult task to explain to your child is that you can play
together с тем, на кого он зол. �”How do you not understand what to fight
нельзя!» или «Попробуй найти с Колей общий язык. Give her your
a toy, and he will give you a play of his ball “- such are your arguments
for sure will be taken to bayonets. Parents
необходимо показать малышам, как можно играть together.

Заинтересуйте детей какой-нибудь игрой, например, начните together
play the ball. ATы можете кидать его друг другу по очереди, по
circle. Children like the participation of adults in their
играх
. Try to come up with an interesting activity for them, then
and reasons to argue or fight for the next toy will be all
less.

Trying to explain something to someone else’s child is not at all
grateful occupation. ATероятнее всего, вы ничего не добьетесь от
him, moreover, you risk being misunderstood by his parents.
And this can lead to scandal, so you can lose
свой авторитет в глазах вашего baby Be reasonable
and always put yourself in the shoes of others
parents.
 Would you like it if someone read
notation for your baby? I think no.

My “helpers”

My practice of communicating with children taught me how to solve conflicts.
некоторыми довольно примитивными in ways. AT моей
the handbag will always have small toys like soap bubbles,
colored crayons or inflatable balloons.
 These are the ones
the very things that can distract children from the conflict and take them
Attention.

Мы, взрослые люди, не всегда умеем справляться со своими
emotions, and, sometimes, get involved in a quarrel. ATсю свою жизнь мы учимся
find a compromise, but not always we succeed. The only pity is that
our conflicts can not be dispelled with a few pieces
colored chalk or two-three beautiful balloons.

ЧИТАЕМ ТАКЖЕ: Конфликты на детской
site: how not to bring to the fray?

There is nothing harder for mom than a situation where one
the child offends another. I want to teach a lesson, to punish the offender
show how it hurts. Is it effective? Will there be such ways
guarantee that in the future the fight is not repeated? AT выпуске
�“Women’s Environment” by Yana Kataeva gives you working advice. ATсе, что
all you have to do is get some patience and apply these tips to
practice:

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