Sometimes the child’s self-worth is too dependent on
perfectionism – an obsessive desire to achieve perfection, under
which means good grades or praise from significant people.
Dependence on expectations and opinions (real or perceived)
surrounding people makes these children their own worst critics.
What is child perfectionism and how to cure a child from
What is perfectionism?
Imagine a child with a clean room, the best
homework in the classroom. He is always the first to perform the task and
seeks to make it better than anyone. Agree, not the worst
traits. Olympic champions, famous musicians and
writers have reached unprecedented heights in their fields of activity
thanks to hard work and the desire to be first.
However, for some children, this desire may become obsessive.
fight for perfection. In psychology, perfectionism is understood
the desire of a person to achieve the best result.
The perfectionist child sets too high standards and
becomes overly self-critical if these ideals are not achieved.
Such maximalism can lead to fear of the new, anxiety,
depression, low self-esteem and exaggerated reaction to mistakes.
All this prevents the child from developing normally and getting
the pleasure of socializing and playing sports.
Features of the perfectionist child
The danger of such self-improvement is that
the child may lose the joy of discoveries and inventions or
desire to learn. After all, he is constantly haunted by the fear of not reaching
- avoid trying something new for fear of suffering
- focuses on mistakes rather than well done
- set unrealistic goals, and then condemn themselves when not
- accept criticism with bayonets, can not laugh at themselves;
- pay attention to the ultimate goal, not the process
- become discouraged if someone evaluates their work not on
- they do not complete the work if they consider it imperfect.
Причины детской perfection
The origins of makeovers, like many other children’s problems,
often worth looking for in the family. Each parent places its own
offspring high hopes, because he wants to see him successful. Already in
early age the child understands that maternal love still needs
deserve it. Than? Good behavior.
With success, only good grades are considered success,
preferably the “five”. Any failure causes blame: why
�”Good” and not “excellent”? The child understands that only becoming
a medalist, an excellent student or a champion, he deserves a parent
In addition, the character and temperament of the child also play important
role. Children who are very sensitive and anxious, with more
likely to become perfectionists.
How to help the child
If striving for excellence becomes a habit and hurts
development of the child, you need to help him. From children’s perfectionism is
effective “drugs”, only they need to be given to children constantly, and
not occasionally. At the first stage you will have a hard time, so
how it will be necessary to break the former educational tactics.
- Draw the child’s attention to the importance of learning new
information, not on evaluation. If he received “excellent”, say: “You
I did a very good job and learned a lot of new things ”, but not“ It’s great, still
- Ask your child to talk about their failures. Explain that
every mistake can be corrected and something can be learned from it.
new. Each failure gives a chance to do the work next time.
it is better. But do not overdo it, otherwise you can grow
- Give your child the tasks that will help him realize
talents, hone skills and increase self-confidence. Not
pity words of approval and confirmation of the child’s strengths
achievements and skills.
- Constructive criticism and solutions can help the child
see what went wrong and how to do this work next
- Avoid comparing a child with his peers. It makes
The child is nervous and aggravates the situation.
- Reduce by the time the workload. Too many sections and
circles overload the nervous system.
- Rid the child of unattainable ideals. Tell us what
each person has strengths and weaknesses.
- Encourage peer communication. So he will become more tolerant
in relation to others, make new friends and realize that it’s not
be sure to always be the best.
- Read wonderful therapeutic stories from Doris
Brett “Once upon a time there was a girl like you …” In fairy tales
tells about a girl who did everything perfectly and wanted to
стать еще it is better.
If your child is convinced that the imperfect work result
unacceptable, imposes itself and other people overestimated
requirements, then you have a hard way to fight
perfectionism. Notобходимо твердо понимать и объяснять детям, что
obtaining new knowledge, developing imagination, risk taking and
enjoy discoveries is much more important than high marks.