Children’s lies: why a child lies and how to teachhis telling the truth

Many parents occasionally catch their children
that they are not telling the truth. Kids tend to invent different
stories, embellish facts and fantasize. If not at all
react, the child will continue to lie at an older age and
grow pathological liar. Как же отучить baby врать?
Use the advice of psychologists – they will help you to establish
trust relationship with a son or daughter and make it so that
the child always told you the truth.

The content of the article

  • 1 Children’s lies – the norm or pathology?
    • 1.1 Causes of children’s lies
      • 1.1.1 Striving for what parents forbid
      • 1.1.2 Lack of parental attention or desire
        seem better than he really is
      • 1.1.3 Fear of punishment for wrongdoing
      • 1.1.4 Self-justification
      • 1.1.5 Dissatisfaction with living conditions
      • 1.1.6 Discrepancy to parents expectations
      • 1.1.7 Pathological lies
  • 2 How does a lie manifest in children of different ages?
    • 2.1 How to explain to a child that lying is bad?
  • 3 Recommendations of psychologists to raise an honest child
  • 4 Video story: the child is lying. What to do?
  • 5 Children’s lies – an interview with a child psychologist by Alexandra
    Bondarenko

детская ложь


Children’s lies – the norm or pathology?

According to a number of psychologists, the tendency to inculcate is normal.
stage of development of the child. Everything a baby sees, hears and feels in
The first years of his life are new and incomprehensible to him. To kid
you have to process a lot of information, learn to use it
everyday.

For an adult, it is obvious where the fact and where is fiction, but
the baby just has to understand it. His logical thinking
is at the stage of formation. Therefore, the baby sincerely believes in
Santa Claus, babaiku and fairy tales that his parents tell him.
If the child cannot understand or explain something, he connects
imagination. At certain moments reality and fantasy
shuffled with each other. As a result, parents catch the baby on
lies, although the child himself is sincerely sure of what he says
the truth.

Another thing, if children consciously begin to vaccinate. Usually this
happens if adults forbid a child something. Baby in this
case begins to reflect on how to achieve the desired, and
the most obvious way is to cheat. Children’s logic is approximately as follows:
�”If it is not so, then it will be possible, if I say differently.”
Therefore, babies begin to consciously lie and manipulate adults.
Parents need to take action on time, otherwise an innocent childish deception
turn into a habit of always getting what you want with
lies.

Causes of children’s lies

Often the kids tell lies because they take their fantasies
for reality. However, children’s lies can be quite deliberate.
There are various reasons for it, including:

  • the desire to get what parents forbid;
  • lack of attention from parents or a desire to seem
    better than he really is;
  • fear of punishment for wrongdoing;
  • self-justification;
  • dissatisfaction with living conditions;
  • inconsistency with parents’ expectations;
  • pathological lie.

Consider the causes of children’s lies in more detail that parents were
easier to understand what is happening with their child.

причины-детской-лжи


The desire to get what parents forbid

Пример: ребенок уже покушал сладостей, но
wants more. He tells mom that dad allowed me to take some candy (although
he has not come home from work yet). �”I did not know what time it was
and was late home “… etc.

Решение проблемы: перестаньте запрещать
all. Kids begin to lie if they constantly hear the word
�“No”, because it causes a protest. Therefore they try
use a lie to defend their interests. Review
bans, reduce their number and leave only those of them
which directly concern the child’s health, safety,
educational moments, mode, tradition of nutrition. Only if you
give your child more independence, he can learn to carry
responsibility for their actions. It will not be superfluous to tell
baby that you can get what you want, not only by cheating.
Tell him that just asking for the same toy,
explaining why she is so needed. Кроме того, ребенок должен
understand the importance of behaving well – then adults will be encouraged
his for obedience.

We also read: Как правильно говорить
child “can not”

Lack of attention from parents or a desire to seem
better than he really is

Пример: ребенок стал всерьез рассказывать о
their superpowers – incredible strength, dexterity, mind,
courage, endurance – although for an adult it’s obvious that
the child is trying to wishful thinking.

Решение проблемы: как к этому относиться
parents? How to lie or how to fantasy? If the kid is lying and
trying to give the desired for real, it is an alarm signal.
He points out that the child is looking for ways to interest his loved ones
people, and, therefore, he lacks the warmth, affection, attention and support
from parents. Let your baby feel your love.
Give the child more attention and develop your abilities
baby Explain that each person has their own talents.
Someone skates well, someone sings great or
dancing, and someone knows everything about the Egyptian pyramids or space. Here is
and you need to develop and show your real abilities, and then
a liar or boaster no one will count. Read along with
books and children’s encyclopedias, walk, communicate. Take away
child in any circle or sports section. So he will
develop your real abilities, will become more confident
and be able to boast of real achievements.

Fear of wrongdoing

Пример: ребенок разбил вазу и пытается
to shift the blame on the cat or younger brother so that he will not be scolded,
не лишили чего-то  хорошего или, хуже того, не отлупили.

Решение проблемы: будьте спокойнее в
relationship with the baby, punish him only for serious
misdemeanors, but not too severe. If they shout at a child for
the smallest offense, frightening flogging, constantly deprive him
sweets and watching TV, he begins to fear their own
parents. Too often and severely punishing a child, parents
provoke his desire to avoid them in any way. Take
decisions on the fact: if the baby broke the cup – let him clean, if
offended someone – let him apologize if he broke a toy – let him
trying to fix, got a deuce – you need to work out and fix.
Such conditions are fair. They do not insult the dignity of the little
man, so the need for lies disappears by itself.

We also read: Как нельзя наказывать
baby

ложь-страх-наказания-за-проступок


Self-justification

Пример: ребенок поступил плохо и изо всех
forces trying to justify himself – the babbler mutters something, finds
thousands of excuses, blames other people to excuse themselves and
tells how much he himself was offended (“He is the first
started”). Then the story is issued about how the abuser began
first what offense he caused, etc. Notice that the “offender”
tells a similar story.

Решение проблемы: поддерживайте baby в
any situation and discuss with him everything that happens in his life.
Детскую ложь, направленную на самооправдание, искоренить очень
complicated. Pride does not allow a child to plead guilty,
so he seeks ways to whiten himself. Talk to him gently and
Friendly, explain that you will not stop loving him, even if he
first took a toy from another boy or climbed into a fight. When
the child will be sure that the parents will support him in any situation
he will trust them more.

Dissatisfaction with living conditions

Пример: ребенок начал выдумывать
incredible stories about his parents that his parents are very
rich, they constantly give him toys, carry him to the sea, to distant
страны, что папу часто показывают по телевизору. it
dreams of a better existence say a child’s dissatisfaction
its social status. The child can understand such things already in
3-4 years, and in 5 years it will be already quite good to be guided in the one who
rich, and who is poor.

Решение проблемы: постарайтесь хотя бы иногда
исполнять желания baby и боритесь с детской жадностью. Already in
возрасте 3-4 лет дети начинают осознавать, что люди
differ in social status, and by 5 years comes a clear
understanding of wealth and poverty. In kindergarten is always
a child who was given more birthday presents,
who more interestingly spent the summer with his parents. it вызывает зависть,
and the baby begins to voice their dreams, posing as
reality.

If a child lies, because he considers himself worse than other children
due to lower social status, look for
возможность дать ему хотя бы часть того, о чем он так
dreaming. Maybe not “just like that”, but a child to put a little
their own efforts. Regarding the “greedy” preschool children who
uncontrollably want to get all the toys on the ground, explain that this
unrealistic, but you can get good ones from time to time
presents.


Inconsistency with the expectations of parents

Пример: девочка любит рисовать, а мама видит её
a musician; the boy wants to enroll in the radio club, and dad sees
his talented translator. While parents are away at home, they
draw and construct, and then cheat, that diligently engaged
music or english. Or a child with quite average
abilities that parents want to be an excellent student
talks about the bias of teachers, justifying their low
level of success.

Решение проблемы: к сожалению, происходит
so that the expectations of parents – a heavy burden for children. Often adults
They want children to do what they did not do. Think
Do your expectations not contradict the makings and interests of the child?
It’s unfair to make him show abilities and achieve goals
instead of you (according to your unmade children
dreams), “for you in childhood”. For example, mom could not become
translator, and now makes his son learn a foreign language. These
expectations may not meet the interests of the baby. Parents worth
listen to the wishes of the children. Not wanting to upset close
human, the child will begin to lie and dodge, but still not
Will achieve success in the unloved lesson. It is better to let your child go
in your own way – then there will be less deception in your family.

Pathological lie

Пример: ребенок постоянно использует ложь в
selfish purposes – lying that he did his homework to his
let go of a walk, shifts the blame on another to avoid
penalties, etc.

Решение проблемы: требуется помощь специалиста.
Pathological lies – a rare occurrence in children
age If the child is cheating constantly, trying
to manipulate others, it must be shown to a psychologist. is he
will help to choose a solution for your particular case.

паталогическая-ложь


How does a lie manifest in children of different ages?

Первую ложь родители могут услышать от своих 3-4
summer children. By the age of 6, the child is already aware of his actions and
understands that he lies. However, it is generally difficult to understand whether
the baby consciously or truly believes that
invented.

По мере взросления baby изменяются и мотивы, которые толкают
him on deception:

4-5 years. Children of this age are different
stormy imagination. is heи еще верят в сказки, волшебство и нередко
confuse reality with a fictional world. Often preschoolers lie
unknowingly – they just wishful thinking (they are
features of their development). Therefore, what the child says in 4-5
years, can not be regarded as a lie. You need to treat this as
fantasies.

7-9 years. At this age, all actions and words
the person becomes conscious. Schoolchildren are already able to conduct
the border between their fantasies and reality. is heи начинают
deceive deliberately, exploring the possibility of lying, using it in their
purposes. If a child begins to lie often, parents should
watch out Behind the constant lies may be hiding serious
Problems.

How to explain to a child that lying is bad?

Children’s lies – this is a problem that needs to be addressed. If you
noticed that your child is trying to use a lie for the benefit of himself,
прежде всего необходимо проанализировать поведение baby,
openly talk to him and try to understand the reason
dishonesty. Ведь дети обычно не врут просто так, к этому их
always push certain circumstances. When вы в них
you will understand, you will be able to find a way to stop children’s lies.

Воспользуйтесь следующими советами, чтобы донести до baby то,
that deceiving other people is not good:

  1. Talk frequently with your child, discuss topics of goodness and
    evil. Examples include situations from the cinema,
    cartoons, fairy tales. The child must understand that happiness, success and
    good luck accompanies the goodies, and good always wins
    evil.
  2. Prove the inadmissibility of lies on a personal example. If Dad
    being at home, asks mom to answer the call and say that his
    нет, у baby формируется лояльное отношение к вранью. Not
    allow such situations, demand honesty from the household.
  3. Tell your child that there is a “polite lie” that
    suggests tactful attitude towards people in order not to offend them
    (for example, when I didn’t like my birthday present).

детская-ложь-как-отучить-baby-врать


Рекомендации психологов по воспитанию честного baby

Psychologists give parents a number of useful recommendations that
help cope with children’s lies:

  1. Distinguish fantasy from deception. Remember that
    Preschoolers often blurred the line between fiction and
    by reality. If the kid has too much imagination,
    возможно, ему просто нечем заняться — разнообразьте досуг
    baby
  2. Not наказывайте за обман. Your screams
    resentment and scandal only tell the child that a lie follows
    hide stronger and as a result will lead to the fact that the child is not
    перестанет врать, а лишь начнет лучше скрывать свою ложь.

In order for the need to lie, the child must be sure that
close people:

  • trust him and each other;
  • never humiliate him;
  • stand on his side in a dispute;
  • they do not scold or reject;
  • поддержат в любых непростых ситуациях и дадут
    хороший совет;
  • if punished, it is true.

It is better to teach the child not to lie, than to punish him all the time.
Want a child to be honest? Make the truth a cult in your
family. Praise the child for honesty.

We also read:

  • Как воспитать честного baby
  • When фантазии baby становятся опасными

Video story: the child is lying. What to do?

Children’s lies – an interview with a child psychologist Alexandra
Bondarenko

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