Bad advice: как вырастить ребёнкаunsure of oneself

Self-doubt, tightness and closeness often come from
childhood. Эти тревожные  чувства обладают достаточной силой,
to harm the mental health of a person make him
constantly have doubts, solving vital issues.
It’s hard to live fully, unleash your abilities and be realized
if all the time you try to find approval from the side, endlessly
you criticize yourself and fight with yourself.


And then, as a result, an unsuccessful choice of a partner, work,
frustrations in oneself and in life, mental illness. If
each of us was born and grew up somewhere on the uninhabited
an island where you have no one to compare yourself with, no one to rely on, no
need to try to be better, then the concepts of uncertainty for us are not
existed. But this is impossible, man is not isolated
being, we all live in society, accept its rules and strive to
for the better.

Bad advice

Self-doubt is a person’s underestimation
opportunities and abilities. Parents do not always notice the baby
manifestations of uncertainty. This is due to the fact that she can
hide behind other features: aggression, irritability,
isolation, anxiety. Often uncertain shy children
can be irritating to pets and
to close people. Having matured, such children understand that they have nothing
achieved in life, demonstrate evil to others, accusing them of
all woes.

If you still decide that the feeling of insecurity is not
will be superfluous in your child, follow the most harmful

Criticize a child

Criticize the baby constantly, point out to him that he did not
so, and be sure to sharpen your attention on every slip. If he
have not yet learned to do something, then poke him regularly at it
nose, be ashamed.  Can’t go to the pot, terrible, scold
and say that all normal children already know how to do it and only
such as he is still peeing in his pants. Generally compare more
child with other children, let them know that if anything happens you take

Even better if your indefatigable criticism is in a public place,
in the presence of as many people as possible, and quite
great if – among friends and relatives. Allow
to scold and criticize your child by strangers, which

неуверенный ребенок

Be sure to use words such as
�”Loser”, “stupid”, “incompetent” and other similar phrases.
Try to drive not only into him, but also into your head, that from
a child will not grow anything good, he will not learn anything.

Do not give an alternative, why praise the child, let yourself
praises, you definitely do not need it.

Do not show delight and do not praise for small
progress.  Drew a nice picture, tried,
I spent a lot of time to give it to you, but so what. Here is
will become a famous talented painter, then approve it

Who is in charge

Always give your child a place, do not give them the right to vote and
own opinion, he is small and can not solve anything
on their own. Choose your own clothes, toys and activities,
write down the section of your choice. What is he there at all

Everything he does for you is his duty as a child,
so thanks are unnecessary.

Let’s never argue with you, or give you

Do not think that your child can cope with something himself, meddle in
his case and give a lot of advice, who however you know better how
to enroll.

Who is guilty


At every opportunity point to the child that he is guilty. AT
speeches use the pronoun “you” instead of “i”. Feel the difference:
�“I don’t really like you coming back late from your walk,” “I
upset to know that you got a three “and” you are careless, all
you walk late ”,“ you are a vile troechnik, you cannot
study normally. ” This is a great way to humiliate
best motives.

If you yourself made a mistake, poured, smashed, lost, boldly
in the eyes of other households blame the child, who is he


Do not hide from the child flaws in his appearance, without cheating
point to bulged ears, liquid hair, crooked teeth. If
you girl, act even harder. Let be знает, что замуж ее точно
will not take.

ATы можете сказать чаду, что внешний облик не важен для жизни,
but do not say for no reason what is important after all.

Do not pay attention to the clothes of the baby, do not try to please


Grow a perfectionist. Require child to be sure
did everything for five. ATас не должны устраивать четверки, вторые места.
No – failures and misses, only forward. Every time a child has
Something did not work, show your wild disappointment to them. If a
it all happened, do not be proud of him and do not praise, let it be
incentive to become even better.

неуверенность детей

On each slip, repeat many times, do not forget to repeat,
that you warned him. Teach not to take initiative, she
punished, if not able, then even if not trying. ATам Not needed
excess disorder.

The words did not give

Do not give the child the right to explain the reasons for actions and
action, interrupt more, negotiate and think for him
yourself, stopping attempts to fix you. Do not keep secrets, boldly
Tell everyone what the child wanted to hide. It will deprive him even
thoughts of trust in you and destroy the initiative.

Your opinion

Your word is law, impose it on a child. �“I know better”,
�“Do as I said” are the most acceptable phrases.  Be
illogical and inconsistent. Brought home five, scold,
nothing to be an upstart, let him give other children the opportunity to show
yourself Do not forget to do everything with accuracy next time.
vice versa.

Ironically, forget about sincerity, laugh when the child


Always firmly demand to fulfill all obligations and keep
the word do not do that yourself, you are an adult, you can change your
opinion. Promise to punish and forget, let him suffer and think
over behavior. They said that you will definitely go to the circus, but
laughed, well, okay, stay home, let yourself
will take


Demand more every day, do not pay attention, if from
your assignments, the child has no time left
games and recreation, but even to study. Nothing, let it get used, life –
The thing is not simple. Do not think that the task may be
overwhelming, it is not your concern, let strive for


Forbid friends with children that you do not like, let
communication with peers does not interfere with learning and doing homework
affairs, to the maximum eliminate it. Do not cook the child morally
to kindergarten, nor to school, let him adapt himself.
Make it as clear as possible that most people are alone.
Trouble, the fewer people you bring to yourself, the better.
Replenish the baggage of stereotypes for the child. Teach to envy
to others.

For birthdays and other children’s holidays, invite only
adults, children of good, will damage your repair and dear


Not enough time for the baby, nothing, in the old days in families with
a dozen children, they somehow grew up, and yours grow. If much
conscience bothers, pay off. Gifts, branded clothing. Let be
then does not say that you gave him nothing in childhood.

Screams, punishments

Nothing can relieve your nervous tension like a heart-rending
cry on the delinquent child. He will not exactly answer you the same
therefore, you should not worry about the consequences. Not guilty child
don’t worry, if you feel bad, let him forgive.


Beat the child, this is the most effective way to kill everything in it.
нормальные чувства,  зародить жестокость, закрыться в
own little world.

Of course, all of these tips are harmful. And life
the child seems terrible. Normal parent
strive to give the best to our child, but we are all not perfect and
we can make mistakes. It is important to recognize and correct them in time.
so as not to harm the psyche of the baby. Psychologists say that
man is not born with a set of traits and qualities that can
determine future self-doubt, only during intercourse and
knowledge of the world we can begin to doubt ourselves, afraid to accept
solutions. The greatest experience the child receives in the family, from their
close ones.

Self-doubt is often born in childhood and,
as a thorn, sits in a man for many years. Help your child grow
calm, self-respecting, believing in himself and his

Develop confidence in the child

At last, we offer classes in the form
an exciting game to develop confidence in the child.

  • Our hero. Hang a poster in one of the rooms.
    portrait of a child, cook stickers. Let be каждый день на
    throughout a certain period, each family member writes on
    the sticker what the baby is unique in, what good he did for the day in
    than succeeded. The child himself can also characterize himself. Ready
    the poster can be hung in his bedroom so that the child has
    opportunity at disturbing moments to remember that it is unique and
  • Piggy bank wins. Make with your child
    box, decorate it to the taste of the baby. Let be каждый день по
    the child writes a small one from kindergarten or school
    a note of what he has achieved today, and throws in the box, let
    captures even the smallest victories. The five most difficult
    subject, beautiful drawing, winning a sporting event,
    a pie cooked with mom, etc .;
  • Agree a phrase. To learn how baby
    perceives praise and criticism from the side, try to take the ball and
    throw the baby, saying only the beginning of the phrase “I know how …”, “I do
    excellent … “,” I am the best in … “,” I want to know … “,” I will learn … “, etc.
    Let be ребенок продолжит каждое предложение;
  • Wizard. Imagine that you and your baby
    wizards, you can transform and transform into animals and heroes
    fairy tales and cartoons. Play a character every time after
    transformations. Watch the child in which images he likes
    reincarnate. If he is a tiger, a hero, a brave knight, then
    pussy wants to be brave and if the child chooses imperceptible roles,
    then he wants to remain in the shadows, he is inherent constraint.

You can use personalized tales where the main character
– your child copes with difficulties, wins and nothing

We also read:

  • Unsure child: how to help your child become more confident
  • How to grow a self-confident child: 12 tips
    to parents
  • If a child is not friendly with anyone: fighting with children
  • How to develop a healthy self-esteem in a child?
  • Savage: or why the child does not communicate with peers

Bad advice:

  • 7 harmful tips for raising girls
  • 7 harmful tips for parents to raise their children
  • 7 bad tips on how to grow a bad wife out of a daughter and
  • 7 harmful advice on the education of “real man”
  • 7 bad tips on how to raise a victim and a loser
  • Top 10 harmful tips grandmothers
  • Кричим на ребенка правильно: 13 вредных советов to parents

How to instill in children confidence in themselves and their abilities?
Parenting. Mom’s school

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