The most important thing that prevents meeting with success is the uncertainty in to myself. This postulate has long been known. However many parents they don’t know at all exactly where the mistakes were made, how to avoid mistakes of upbringing and not become an obstacle in the way of your own child to human happiness (for a harmonious family life, dizzying career and public recognition).
Mistake No. 1. Risk prohibition
The world around us is unpredictable and changeable. Risk free it is impossible to find the right path, to feel all the facets of being. On the one hand, parents can be understood – they are guided the slogan “Safety comes first.” Adults can understand: they they have filled enough cones themselves, and now they want to save as much as possible your baby blood from pain, injuries and failures
On the other hand, if the baby is deprived of the opportunity to play on the street with peers, he will never fall into a puddle, will not wrap his knee, will not be scratched. In terms of relationships, a teenager not survived the sorrows of unrequited first love, betrayal with side of friends, lacking material for emotional ripening.
In other words, an adult without life will grow out of a child experience. Greenhouse-grown children are most likely to suffer many different phobias, have low self-esteem in the future, arrogant and arrogant.
Mistake number 2. Rush to help for nothing
Excessive care and guardianship lead to the fact that the child independence atrophies. He does not need to look for a way out difficult situation, because he is accustomed to the fact that all the difficulties for him will be eliminated by parents. What does this lead to? To infantilism: so what that I didn’t reach the goal – all the same, mom and dad (grandfathers, grandmothers) will rake any consequences, I have nothing to worry about.
In the real adult world, things are different. Unprepared for the difficulties a young man grows up, never learning how to take on self responsibility for their actions. And success, as you know, with her is inseparable.
Mistake number 3. Spoiled
In attempts to “earn” self-love, they spoil their children. In this way, adults seem to neutralize their own guilt (guilt for not being able to give something, provide something). As soon as the child realized that it’s possible to manipulate, he begins to literally extort material values, various privileges, benefits and concessions.
It is necessary to teach a child to fight for their desires and prices. Follow the children’s lead, never say no now, no “not yet time” is a direct road to spoilage. Small man will learn only one thing: receiving benefits is not the result of good actions and labor, and the result of blackmail and whims. Which one here may be future success? Nothing!
Mistake number 4. Enthusiasm for a child on any about
Let’s rewind time a bit ago, in the 70-80s of XX centuries. It was then that the boom of the rise movement began in the world self-esteem. At first, a new trend penetrated a certain circle of families (focused on the intellectual wave), and then actively turned around in schools, often taking ugly forms: to admire the child with or without.
Praising their beloved child from morning to night, parents commit monstrous mistake. The fact is that outside the family the child sees a completely different reality: with his small achievements he is completely not interested in others. Peers ignore him (or even make fun of him), teachers behave with restraint. No special he does not receive rewards, prizes or winnings.
Hence the child’s own sense of bankruptcy, wretchedness, backwardness “from others.” Gradually such a man turns into a real loser – becomes a liar, a crook, cunning, his goal is to get away from uncomfortable reality.
Mistake No. 5. Acceptance of intelligence and giftedness for maturity
Nature has endowed some children with increased intelligence. I.e the child knows how to count, write, read, reason better than others adult, build powerful logical, show deep cognitive abilities. However, in his heart he is still only child. But parents don’t think so, but think that their ingenious the child is already fully prepared for adulthood.
What is the result? Remaining a child in my soul a growing man now and then falls into trouble, like the well-known show business stars (scandals, intrigues, adventures from the side immediate environment). In other words, his success is again hindered parental foresight.
Mistake number 6. Parents are silent about their own mistakes in the past
Psychologists are sure: there is nothing better than confidential communication with as a child, honestly admitting their own mistakes and mistakes, allowed in the past. Let your child know that he does not have to be ideal, that the wings will be spread only at the one who before this more than once fell from a cliff in an attempt to take off.
Let’s take a banal example. Let’s say you don’t want your the child became addicted to smoking, addicted to alcohol or worse, drugs. What method effects to prefer? Moral teaching or friendly discussion?
Moral teaching will only cause rejection. And here is a friendly conversation take the opposite effect. Replace the child and take a look at yourself: you are a boring tyrant (“do not do this because it’s bad, “” I forbid you, “” it’s impossible because it’s impossible “) or good friend (“at your age I did / did this and that, of this happened so-and-so “)? Only the second option will strengthen mutual trust will help the child live boldly among the insidious temptations, not succumbing to them on the way to their success.
Mistake number 7. Parents teach one, but do other
The main mistake of all parents is to do one thing and say another. No matter how hard it is, learn to be an example yourself. Copy you much easier than shaping yourself according to some strange advice and requirements.
Do the right thing, your children are watching you every minute. Work on yourself, improve yourself and your environment space. Children will notice it, and you will not have them in anything assure. More action, less words!