7 gross mistakes of parents during quarrels withby children

How often in a fit of anger, parents say words to children,
which penetrate deep into the consciousness, are wounded, leaving a trace there on
long years. As a result of the wrong actions of an adult child
becomes aggressive, his self-esteem decreases, and his parents
cease to be his authority. How to avoid it? let’s
Consider 7 mistakes that adults make during quarrels with
своими by children, а после постараемся их не повторять.


1. Focusing on the person, not on actions

When a baby does not do well, parents often tell him that
he is bad, they say phrases like “I don’t need such a child!” or
�”You are a terrible boy!” With such statements mom and dad hurt
hurt their children. It is important that the crumb understand – not he himself is bad, but
the deed he committed causes disapproval of the parents.

2. Putting the blame on children

Sometimes during strong irritation, parents begin to scold
children for what, in fact, they are not guilty. For example, mom
I forgot to remove a plate or a cup from the table, and the kid, running past,
touched her, she fell and broke. Or another case – dad allowed
pet the neighbor’s dog, and he bit the baby. And so
папа ругает ребенка – ты что, не знаешь, что собака может
bite? Who is to blame in this case? Is it a child? For what its
scold or punish? Shifting the blame from yourself to the children, parents
will be able to achieve only one thing – in time their child will become
to do the same, he will not recognize his faults. I think
Everyone will remember such a situation, when you need to scold yourself, and we scold

3. Demonstration of his superiority

у ребенка истерика

Adults often show their own children
superiority, what makes them feel inferior and
humiliation, annoyance and offense. This can be illustrated by the example of such
situations where one of the parents takes the child’s toy
her on the closet or where the baby can’t get it from. What in
is this time going on with the baby? He is desperate, he feels
his own powerlessness and deep insult, he begins the real
hysterics. You need to help the crumbs cope with their feelings, and
parents aggravate the situation even more, leaving him alone,
so he ponders his behavior.

4. Punishment deprivation of material goods

Do you use such a technique – promising to buy a son or daughter
a toy, you take your words back if the child is not feeling well
led? This is what most parents do to achieve
obedience from their children. But is it right? Undoubtedly given
the way helps to quickly put the children in place, but what motivates
obey them – do they think about the feelings of the father and mother? No in
In this situation, the child is concerned only with his own benefits. When he
will become older, you will understand that it is better to please the parents so as not to
to be deprived of material wealth, and not out of respect for elders. With
This own feelings, resentment, anger and irritation teenager
will accumulate inside yourself. Never punish children, depriving
their material things, and teach them to respect your feelings, explain
why it is necessary to do so, and not otherwise.

5. Aggression, rudeness, physical punishment


If at a quarrel with a child mom or dad lose over themselves
control, allow rude remarks, shout, apply force to
education, then the children adopt their course of action. They learn from
parents that in a critical situation the loss of control over
self is the norm, that the right is the one who is stronger, who
shouts louder and rougher. While the child is small, it seems
that such educational measures work, and in fact baby
just afraid of the reaction of parents, so behaves well.
Small children can not repel adults – to hit, shout,
but when they grow up, you should expect from them


We also read: последствия физического наказания

6. Demand an apology when the parents themselves do not

Чтобы научить children чему-то, нужно подавать им личный пример.
Parents will not be able to inculcate in the child the habit of asking for forgiveness for
свои поступки, если сами они этого не make. With all happen
situations when under the influence of fatigue or irritation we can
Say a bunch of offensive words to children. After a quarrel, we regret
said, so why not say to your daughter or son: “Forgive me, I
I told you insulting words, in fact, I don’t think so about you. ”
What will follow? Usually kids also apologize
for bad behavior hugging parents. Ask for forgiveness even
when both parties are guilty, do it first so that the children
They took an example from you.

Frankly, I myself sometimes break down and tell my daughter offensive
words, which then regret. But I always try for them
to apologize. I say to my daughter: “Forgive me, please. I lost my temper and
told you not at all what I really think ”Daughter usually
apologizes at this moment too: “Mom, and you forgive me. I just
was capricious and behaved very badly. It was unpleasant for you. You
excuse me? ”and we usually hugging

prosim proshcheniia u rebenka

In situations where we were both good, I usually apologize
the first. And while not blaming my daughter, not saying that she, too, was
wrong. My daughter herself admits her part of the guilt
situations and apologizes.

7. Use of degrading punishments

When the child is guilty, he is punished, but it must be done
right. Withменяя воспитательные меры, используйте правило –
it is better to deprive the child of good than to make him ill. For example –
it’s better to refuse the baby to watch cartoons or read at night than
raise your voice and spank. Remember – you can not humiliate the child
наказывая его, поэтому никогда не ругайте children в присутствии
outsiders. If you are in a public place, and the baby behaves
out of hand, or postpone upbringing for later, or move away
aside and talk to him quietly.

We also read:

  • 8 лояльных способов наказания children. How to punish
    child for disobedience
  • Is it necessary to punish a child in 3 years: the opinion of parents and

In raising children you can make a lot of mistakes, because
we are all humans. Excellent helps to reduce the number of conflict
situations a simple rule – before you say something to children, say
it yourself. When the situation is heating up, scroll through this
phrase, it will help to stop at the right moment, and therefore avoid
mistakes. Withменяя это правило, вы заметите, что дети станут
show respect, their self-esteem will increase, they will begin
control your words.

We also read: Топ из 10 ошибок родителей в
воспитании children

�“School of Young Fathers”: “How to quarrel with
as a child

Основные ошибки в воспитании children

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