The desire to have children is inherent in us by nature, so we
programmed that we definitely need procreation.
There are very few people who never want to start in their lives
child by a series of psychological or physical
Partners who connect feelings, if they feel comfortable together,
sooner or later think about the children. But it happens that even with
mutual desire to have children, the couple is trying to postpone their appearance.
Why this happens, we find out below.
1. Changes in life
With the advent of the child, the life of each family member changes dramatically.
Changes concern not only the mode of the day, food, free
time, but also the moral side of life. A couple will need a lot
patience, dedication and strength. The usual way of life collapses
time remains for entertainment and recreation, for these reasons many
couples prefer to postpone the time of happy parenthood.
Not everyone loves dramatic changes. This is not talking about
that men and women do not want children, do not understand all the joy
and happiness to be mom and dad. They just haven’t decided yet
Are you ready for family expansion?
2. Financial base
Many partners are frightened by the lack of stability in the material
plan, they may be afraid to be financially untenable, not
able to fully provide the child with all necessary.
Men are by their nature earners, many consider the task
обеспечения семьи — основной. Needs and understanding
each family has its own wealth. Some parents are not afraid
the appearance of the fifth child with small earnings, and others – not
give birth to a child, fearing not to provide him with the latest models
strollers, toys and expensive gadgets for mom.
Assess your financial soundness adequately, not
think that without newfangled walkers or an imported stroller your
the baby will be less happy.
The appearance of a child in a family can significantly affect a career
in most cases, the career of a woman. There are two
opposing poles of opinion on this. Alone women without
meditations give preference to the happiness of motherhood, others – time
с появлением детей, предпочитая какое-то время отдать подъему
on the career ladder. There are those that do not adjoin to one
from the poles, being in their preferences in the golden middle:
They very much want to have a child and are ready for this, but they also do not leave
hopes to achieve success in work and realize themselves not only in
as mom. Such women have time to be trained on maternity leave.
подрабатывают, зарабатывают в интернете, совершенствуют
Откладывая the appearance of children из-за работы, помните, что дети
grow quickly and you can devote yourself again and
4. Relationship with a partner
A baby always takes a lot of time, so many couples
afraid that their relationship may deteriorate, because they can no longer
devote each other as much time as before. how
women and men worry that their intimate will suffer
life, that partner will be jealous of the baby.
The child, even the most awaited, beloved and dear – a man in
the family is new; the whole family adapts to its appearance. New roles
moms and dads can be hard to come by. Fatigue, lack of sleep, change
lifestyle can lead to quarrels. This is what couples fear,
transferring the birth of the crumbs to the future. Women are more often afraid that
changes in shape can affect a relationship with a man, and those in
turn, scares the opportunity to be superfluous and deprived in
Reluctance for some time to give birth to a baby may be associated with
partner uncertainty. A woman, for example, cannot imagine how
her husband, still a child himself, cope with the role of the father. A man
doubts that the wife is ready morally, and she will be able to cope with
all the duties of the mother up to standard. Couples not in
marriage, may also doubt the strength of their relationship.
Responsibility for the well-being, health and life of another
a person is not a simple feeling. Some people are afraid to take on
Women and men most often fear their inability and
ignorance in the field of care and upbringing of the child. Woman can
afraid to give birth to an unhealthy baby, not cope with home
to do something wrong that will affect the child. The man,
thinking about the children begins to worry if he can provide
family, will they lose their jobs, can they properly execute
A few tips on how to overcome anxiety related
the appearance of children:
- Look at things realistically, do not invent difficulties with
not yet encountered. Do not compare yourself with others
families, you are individual, you have your own life, which you yourself
build. If any of your friends have problems with relationships and
raising children, it does not mean that you will have such
- Discuss together how your habitual structure can change, what
you will do to help each other overcome problems like
will be free up time to communicate with each other who can
help you with the baby. Talk about relationships, agree on
- Think about work, weigh what you can lose in
career, and is it worth it to postpone the appearance of the child.
Consider how you can realize yourself in the decree, whether it will work
make time for training;
- Do not think that the fear of responsibility gives you
bad parents. On the contrary, if you fear in failure,
while striving to be the best parents, then you
are not indifferent, serious and aware of the importance of your role as
moms and dads. Ask for help from the older generation, visit
courses and develop fears of the complexity of care and education
Make a joint informed decision, do not listen to advice
others. The appearance in the family of the baby – test the strength of the family, let
You will pass this test perfectly.
Читаем статью по теме: Почему некоторые
people don’t want to have children
Почему некоторые people don’t want to have children —
отвечает Ольга Исупова, PhD в социологии, старший научный
Associate, Institute of Demography, National Research University Higher School of Economics, Moscow: