5 problems of obedient children

For many parents, an obedient child means good
child. However, ensuring that the child unquestioningly performs
all our instructions, we cause irreparable damage to the formation of it
personality. What undesirable consequences can lead strict
воспитание мы и расскажем.

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1. Inertness and passivity

When parents force a baby to follow their instructions,
suppressed his inner freedom and initiative. Gradually
the little man loses his will, interest in manifesting his own
desires, leadership qualities. Growing up, it can become inert and
passive adults who just go with the flow of life. His
difficult to set and achieve goals, persevere and
initiative.

To avoid all this, communicate with the child from a position
equal. Respect his wishes, provide the opportunity to do
independent choice. Give a little freedom – let him choose:
what books to read, which section or circle to go to, what colors
wear what hobby to choose.

Counsel with the baby, what you will do together: draw
or sculpt, walk in the park or shopping center. Show that
a person can and should take the initiative, but is obliged to bear
responsible for your choice. So the child will understand that you respect
his personality and freedom.

2. Statement

On the one hand, it’s good for parents when the child is in everything with
agrees with them and does not insist on their own, sometimes extravagant
desires. On the other hand, such tactics can be very harmful for
adult behavior. Growing up, such a child will not be able to protect
his point of view, will agree with everyone, often at the expense of
your interests. In addition, this person will easily fall under
someone else’s influence, unable to say no / don’t want, it will be easy
persuade in a bad way.

Parents should treat the wishes of the child with due
attention. It should be more allowed than prohibited. Explain to him
why you are not allowed to do this or that. If the request
your child is in doubt, ask him to argue his
a wish. This will develop his adult position and teach to strive
to your goal in adequate ways.

3. Low self-esteem

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The severity and categoricalness of parents leads to the fact that the child
begins to doubt their love. If he is often criticized and condemned
for misdemeanors – it means he is not good enough, not constantly
falls short of the plank of the closest and closest people. This will lead to
the formation of low self-esteem.

The kid doubts himself, constantly feels guilty. BUT
because he needs to be sure that his parents love him. To
deserve their love, he tries to be obedient, but obedience is
– not his inner choice.

Show your child that he is dear and loved by you on his own,
regardless of his behavior. Simply, there are actions that
upset you. Tell your child how often you love him
learn to forgive petty mischief, avoid evaluations in communication: “you
bad, “slob”, “lazy.” Let’s evaluate the specific action
but not the child’s identity.

We also read: Как развить здоровую самооценку у
child?

4. BUTгрессивность и болезненность

The suppression of their own desires, the fear of being bad and deserve
parental anger leads to the fact that the baby is accumulating
aggression. She can find manifestation outside the family: in
kindergarten, school, in relation to animals, toys. BUT может
apply to yourself. Then aggressive impulses can
manifest frequent diseases, the occurrence of serious chronic
diseases, neurosis.

Anger and discontent are normal emotional reactions,
peculiar to each person. It is important to teach the child to express them.
acceptable ways that do no harm to others or to themselves
by myself. Otherwise they accumulate and have a damaging effect on
personality.

Do not scold the kid for negative emotions, help to understand
in them, show that you understand his feelings. Do not speak
the boy, that “real men do not cry,” and the girl: “you can’t
to rush headlong. ” These are simple ways to throw out negative
feelings that the child finds intuitively.

Help the chad find an outlet for energy: playing sports,
embroidery with beads, drawing. It is important that the child does this.
without coercion, in your own pleasure. Teach uncomplicated
self-regulation techniques: beat a pillow or a punching bag,
count to 10 and breathe deeply, close your eyes and imagine
a place where he feels good.

5. Hypercompensation

Overly obedient and calm children in their teens
often “break off the coils”: associated with a bad company,
give birth to bad habits, rude and deny parental authority.
In doing so, they try to compensate for the lack of freedom that
had them in childhood.

Parents should give the child a certain amount of freedom
которая необходима для нормального развития personality.
Independent walks, games and classes alone with yourself – all this
should be in the life of every child, moreover: the older he is
it gets, the bigger time he can devote to it.

Learn to love and take your child with him.
features and disadvantages. Show its value and significance
for you. Promote and punish the case. The only way he is
will be able to grow self-sufficient, active and purposeful
by personality.

We also read: 

  • 10 secrets of educating an obedient child: how to teach children
    respect and hear parents
  • Удобный child. Is obedience always good?

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