For example, you are going to school and you know that your child
going slowly, he needs to say his teeth five times.
You will come and you will find him putting on one still sock, you
say – “I am in a hurry,” and he is like this – “I am putting on a sock.” And inообще, как
they say the video with audio does not match. And in этот момент родитель
realizes that there is very little time left before the release, begins
to hurry his child, he moves even more slowly, as a result –
scandal in the house, spoiled mood, spoiled relations.
What I want to say, sometimes, not to rush my children and
to be constructive, you need to stop pitying them. To love but
do not regret. Wake them up half an hour earlier, knowing they are slow
dress, but do not rush them. When you rush him, his nervous
the system falls into stress and it starts to do even more slowly that
even more annoying to us as parents, and we more often remind
he needs to be in a hurry somewhere, and he is even slower
Believe me, this is not from evil. The nervous system starts working in
emergency mode and he does not notice that his movements, transitions
куда-то и действия, медленнее, чем is always. Small children grow up
their brain forms, and when we keep them in such
under stress, they grow absent-minded
concentrate, not able to bring the case to the end. how
consequence, unsure of themselves, with low self-esteem and with the fact that
he thinks that something is wrong with him, all people are like people, and I’m alone here
such, “my hands have grown from the wrong place.”
And to all this simply leads our habit
rush. Therefore, correctly count the time. Drink coffee
think of your children well. Use timers to make it
moved from one process to another process.
Знаете, для маленьких детей еще работает такой способ —
if fast, (takes 3 minutes or less), draw
a table of actions that he must do in the morning, and he runs,
crosses out the one that has already been executed. Teeth cleaning, made
bed, took the bag, had breakfast, checked things – this and
pleasure, and you translate it from process to process.
But remember that his speed will still be lower,
than you, so do not rush. And correctly build
When you stop rushing your children, you will see that
good mood every day when you leave the house, provided
not only you, your child, but everyone around you.
Error 4: to persuade to eat
The fourth mistake that everyone has ever made
a parent on planet Earth is an attempt to persuade your child
to eat And some make this mistake every day for a few
times with enviable regularity.
It is important, of course, that the child eat, but the key
the concept that he ate only when hungry.
We need to understand that we grew up in a country in which some
поколения переживали голод, и в нас генетически заложено
the desire to feed to save lives. But modern children in
the abundance of food that is around is never hungry. They
they just don’t even know such a feeling when “sucking in the stomach,”
because I want to eat.
So just plan how you feed the baby and what.
And remove all the snacks. Snacks include compote, cookies,
fruits, everything with sugar, juices. These are all snacks. Either highlight
them in a separate meal, and consider food full,
full, or remove, so that this is not even there. Because
when it enters the stomach, the body fails, it does not want to eat, and
when you feed the baby, of course, he will
say he doesn’t want to.
It is important to give your child a chance to get hungry. Here is чтобы он
wanted to eat. Then you will never have problems. I hear straight
as many parents now say – “Yes, if I do not persuade my
he will not eat a day, even two. ” I say – “I believe, of course, not
will be”. Because он не может идентифицировать вот это чувство
hunger. He doesn’t even know what it is, and what it is, “what I want
there is”. But then he understands this and shakes the soul out of you for
you feed him, or he will open the fridge, climb and eat.
Why do you need to feed the baby properly? Right – it’s without
gadgets. Without “for father”, “for mother”, there, for concerts, children sometimes
показывают, кукольные, чтобы уговорить их to eat
Pull yourself together. Believe, a hungry person is not
will never be. Feed children only when they
are hungry. Dads are good at working with it. They кормят
children when they want to eat themselves or when the children of them are already
�”Dad, dad, let’s eat something already.”
I have never seen dad who persuade children to eat, but
I saw the “army” of moms who persuade children to eat. Take yourself to
arms. Feed when hungry, and remember how the brain works, and why
It is useful for the child to be aware that he has eaten. Not in a comatose
condition, or through the gadget. This is extremely important. And inы будете тем
happy parent who will say – “My child is always
he eats and eats coolly, and with great pleasure. “
Читаем также: Насильно сыт не будешь:
why it is impossible to force a child to eat through force
Error 5: excessive custody of children
It seems to us that they are cold. It seems to us that they are hot.
It seems to us that they are hungry. It seems to us that they themselves are not
can tie their shoelaces at five years old, or fasten their jacket. And this
takes power from our children.
We, for various reasons, are engaged in hyper-care: someone has one
the child, and he truditsya over him, not realizing that our main task
– to teach, not to do for him, but to teach that he himself could do it all
to do, and someone has no time, and it is easier for him to fasten his shoes
child, a jacket, put a backpack on his back and put him in the car,
will be faster.
Это разные причины, но следствие is always одно и то же. Children
grow infantile, which are a lot of simple things that
everyday life, around them, occur, think that they should not do,
and someone else.
But then you and I, dear parents, need to grow a staff
обслуживающего персонала для наших детей. We want our
children grew up strong, confident, then they should
learn to overcome difficulties. They may receive and not
get out. They have to learn how to do it, so man grows stronger
he does not become strong at 30 years old. It is formed every day,
overcoming little difficulties every day.
Teach them self-care. Teach them self control. Here is
excessive control from the outside kills internal self-control. Will come
a time when you cannot be with them all day. This is when they are in
the kindergarten will go, and then they will go to school, and you, as parents, should
be sure your child has enough inner strength to someone “no”
say, to some kind of sentence – “And let’s go jump from the second
floor? He says – “No, of course.”
This is only possible when it grows independently.
by man. We just do not notice how we manage them, how
robots, and they stop at them, and they lose this property
make your own choices.
I know these children and not one, not two, but not three, unfortunately.
Here is отступите на два шага назад и дайте ему возможность хоть
think about this, there is some activity in the brain
will start to happen. Directivity kills autonomy. And in
At the beginning it is touching, we have obedient children who do everything that
we want and then it scares us because they are their own
step can not do in this life. They have atrophied ability
to make decisions. You just have to give a task, but the way
he will do it, let him choose. And if you are asked
baby, and you say – “Listen, well, figure it out somehow. Come and
tell me how you did it. ” This is what your child will teach.
make independent decisions, make mistakes, and then
get out of these mistakes, but achieve results.
And in that case they never grow up infantile.
They will grow up responsible, independent, thinking, having
inner core of people. Here is к этому и нужно стремиться, и
I wish you succeed in this. Of course, this will not allow us to save
from mistakes, but let us think what kind of mistakes we
совершаем каждый день.
Читаем также:О негативных последствиях
over custody and care for boys at different ages
Marina Romanenko – psychologist, creator of the “Academy
Professional Parenthood “, a business coach and a mother of four (at
two with a husband) children: