5 life hacks from psychologists to communicate withby children

Many young parents think that the infant period is the most
complex and heavy, for a tiny creature can say nothing,
but only cries if something bothers him. That’s when it grows up …
Do not flatter yourself! There will be other problems about which moms and dads
now do not even suspect. To be fully prepared read the tips
psychologists.

Children grow fast. Here is a crumb walking, talking, much
can do it yourself. The child is already out of infants
age, but continues whims and tantrums? Your child does not obey
and makes spite, deceives, deliberately breaks toys and tears
falls on the floor in the store, demanding to buy something? Parents in
perplexed by this behavior. What to do? How to respond? how
to turn a naughty child into a raised tender angel?
The main thing is patience. Tears of despair and even
if the hand in despair reaches for the belt, psychologists do not recommend
apply physical punishment. And to cope with the baby is not so
difficult if you know some secrets. Now let’s talk about them.

непослушный ребенок


Listen actively

Julia Gippenreiter, Doctor of Psychology, Professor,
explains to parents what it means to listen actively. Specialist sure
that if a child has mastered negative emotions, if he is experiencing
pain, shame, fear, fatigue, resentment, something is wrong with him, to
Injustice has shown injustice or rudeness, adults should
Be sure to make it clear that they understand his condition. Parents
Be sure to talk to the little one and name the feelings and
experiences that baby feels.

Юлия Борисовна Гиппенрейтер: «Во всех
when a child is upset, offended, failed when
he was hurt, ashamed, scared when he was treated roughly or
unfair and even when he is very tired, the first thing you need
to do is to let him know that you know about his experience (or
condition), “hear” it. For this it is best to say that
it is your impression that the child is feeling now. Desirable
call “by name” is his feeling or experience. “

This recommendation is suitable for those situations where a small
the little man can not take control of the negative
emotions. Many people know a similar situation: a boy of 4 – 5 years is not
wants to give his little typewriter to the younger brother and shouts at him. BUT
parents who try to shame him for such behavior
throws: “It would be better if he was not!” Adults must be patient
and say: “I understand your condition, you are angry, because I myself wanted
play your favorite car, so mad at my brother and not
want to share with him. ” The child sees that adults understand him.
feelings and, most likely, will calmly begin to speak, after which
it will be easy to find with him the right way out of the situation.

Hug children more often

This is strongly recommended for both children and adults.
psychologists. During the embrace, the hormone oxytocin is produced,
which fights stress, improves brain function and helps
man to feel more confident. Experts say that in
while embracing a child, it is as if in a “parental cocoon”, where
protected, and resentment, anger and despair recede.

мама обнимает ребенка


Людмила Петрановская: «объятия дают чувство
security is a universal way of containment: hugging
your child, you are a kind of cocoon in which you can
it is safe to “digest” anger, resentment or despair. “

Evaluate the deeds, not the child

Hardly any parent wants to inflict on his child.
psychological trauma. That is why it is worth forgetting once and for all
the phrases “you are a bad girl”, “we don’t need such a boy”, “well, what
же ты глупый»и др. Psychologists советуют говорить с by children о
inadmissibility of actions and explain what the consequences may be.
For example: “You hit a cat, and this is very bad, because it hurts him,
you cannot offend animals. ” Praise the child must also be correct. is he
coped with a complex designer? Wonderful! But instead of “what
you are well done! “psychologists recommend to admire the height of buildings
and the complexity of the work.

Correctly complain

What does this mean in practice? Consider the situation: mom
upset because of the child’s behavior. What then most often?
do parents say? �”You pissed me off, upset me.” These phrases
make the child defend himself, which only aggravates the situation.
Психолог Юлия Василькина рекомендует родителям говорить о
my feelings: “I got angry,” “I worry when you …”. Such
communication is much more effective for the child, because in such
phrases no insults or accusations. However, parents should not
manipulate and portray anxiety or discontent about
small offense.

Юлия Василькина пишет: «Порой родители
consider it wrong to say to the child: “I am angry” or “I
upset when you … “. No, the parent more often blames: “You are me
pissed you offended me. ” This position makes the child
to defend themselves. ”

Play, not order

Tired of reminding a child убрал игрушки, а выход из
home for a walk is delayed for an hour and a half? Try not
order, and turn the cleaning or fees into the game. Psychologists
advised to make a list of cases that you need to consistently
perform during cleaning or fees for a walk. List need
hang in a prominent place so that the baby can put a tick, noting
performed. Such a list can be in the form of pictures, when it is still
can’t read Children can compete in this
speed), and at the end of the week gets a small reward.

We also read:

  • The child misbehaves: what to do?
  • how общаться с непослушным ребёнком — история одной семьи
  • What if the child does not listen to you?
  • 10 common causes of child disobedience

Видео консультация: учитель воронежской
вальдорфской школы «Радуга», учитель 7 класса BUTнастасия
Vladimirovna Eliseeva answers the question of what to do if
the child does not obey

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