Increasingly, the reason for turning to psychologists becomes
excessive severity of adults in relation to their kids. Many
родители считают, что children необходимо держать в ежовых рукавицах,
otherwise, they will grow into weak-willed or even dissolved people. Not
слишком ли вы строги к своему to kid? Not думаете ли вы, что ваши
expectations may be too high?
The concept of “unjustified rigor” is increasingly found in
domestic and western psychological literature. However many
experts still find it difficult to draw a clear line between
necessary and unjustified severity of dads and moms. In fact,
it is not surprising. After all, the norms of behavior and limits of permissible
parental reactions are individual for each family and not
determined by one single factor.
We offer 15 signs that you can be
too strict with your child:
- You “confess” the policy of “zero
tolerance. “ No one argues how important it is to have clear
правила, необходимые для безопасного развития baby. but
it is necessary to clearly understand that each rule also has its own
an exception. Instead of taking an authoritarian stance,
покажите готовность оценивать поведение baby в контексте
specific circumstances: “Yes, I have said many times that it is impossible
fight. But I understand that you wanted to protect the girl. ”
- Your child is lying a lot. Many дошкольники
love to exaggerate and brag a little. but исследования
psychologists clearly show that tough discipline is the right
the way to turn the little dreamers into liars. If you
too strict, your child can cheat for any reason,
to avoid harsh punishment.
- У вашего baby больше ограничений, чем у других
children. Rules and restrictions vary from family to family. But
if the number of restrictions in your home exceeds all imaginable and
unimaginable measures, this may be a sign of high expectations.
- You are intolerant of childish jokes. Preschool
childhood is a great time for stupid, cute and funny
tricks, noisy mess and fun games. Do you think children
need to learn, and not engage in various nonsense? Of course jokes
быстро надоедают, а забавы вашего baby могут поставить вас в
awkward situation. but, возможно, стоит наслаждаться моментом и
have fun with your baby?
- You condemn other people’s educational measures.
Strict parents absolutely dislike that the teacher
applies excessive liberty with children, lisps with them instead of
to teach discipline and proper behavior (obedience).
Remember that it is important for children to be open to adults,
�”Preaching” different educational methods. So they
adapt to adulthood.
- Your list of rules is too long. Than
the more rules, the less likely your child will be able to
all abide by. Set simple but effective guidelines.
behaviors so that the baby remembers them. Write on a piece of paper
the list of the most important home norms and refer to it in case of
- У baby нет времени на отдых и игры.
Notкоторые современные дети настолько загружены после детского сада,
that they do not even have half an hour for free activities,
innocuous hobbies and the usual fuss with peers. By the way
many psychologists believe that in preschool age the desire to play
and communicate with comrades much more important and more useful than the ability
count to hundreds or knowledge of letters.
- Not даете право на ошибку. Strict parents
стараются сделать все, чтобы запретить to kid заблуждаться. But
After all, children learn from their mistakes when faced with
the consequences of their own actions.
- You too often carp. Eternal
parent dissatisfaction does not allow the baby to take over
responsibility for their actions. If you будете придираться к
to kid каждый раз, когда он рисует, убирается в комнате, играет на
musical instrument, he will not be able to learn how to perform his
- You are constantly giving directions. Not замечали ли
you that constantly remind your children something like “sit down
straight “,” do not blink when walking “,” enough to keep your hands in your pockets “?
Try to save the instructions for the most important situations, then
your voice will surely be heard.
- You do not offer a choice. Instead of
ask “What are you going to do first: get dressed or
make the bed? ”, strict parents often just command. Give
children a bit of freedom, especially if both options bring only
- You insist on your solution.
Sometimes unnecessarily demanding adults insist on their own
how to solve problems without giving the kid the opportunity to learn and
improvise: “Masha, you need to put words out of cubes, and not
to build turrets! “Remember, children need not only instruction
adults, but also the ability to be creative and the flexibility of thinking.
- You praise the result, not the effort. Strict
родители не слишком балуют своих children хвалебными словами. And if
allow approval, then only achieved (usually high)
result. The most beautiful picture, the first place in the competition of readers,
the best craft from plasticine … Very soon, your baby can decide
that your love for him is due only to his high
- You are constantly threatened. While
most parents only occasionally give warning to children
too demanding parents are threatened on an ongoing basis. They
they often say: “Clean your room immediately, or I’ll throw everything away
your toys in the trash! “Avoid threats, especially if you
not ready to carry them out, and do not resort to physical punishment.
(We also read: 20 phrases that you can never say for anything
children – dangerous words that break a child’s life)
- You love to teach. Strict moms and dads often
make every activity a compulsory lesson. Kids can’t
to draw a picture without being asked about the color of the paint, or not
can play with the doll house if they are not constantly reminded of
proper placement of furniture. Remember that the game itself gives
opportunity for imagination and is the opportunity to go beyond
Of course, not every child is a little angel,
which never causes problems. However, not all complex
educational situations can be solved only by
severity. Love your baby, respect him as a person – and you never
you can’t go wrong in the necessary balance of impunity and
We also read:
Comfortable baby. Does obedience always mean
How to raise an honest child
Top of 10 parental mistakes in parenting
10 tips to stop shouting at your
How to react and fight off whims