10 ways to teach a child to stand upmyself

Many parents complain about being too aggressive.
the behavior of his child, but there are those who are concerned
that their baby is too peaceful and passive. How to teach a child
постоять за myself, какими способами, когда и как myself вести
parents in the event of a conflict in which the child fell, with these and
other issues will look below.


Disturbances like “he will grow up weak and weak” and “his whole life will be
offend “is not groundless, because every person in society should be able to
to defend their “I”. Of course, no one says that calm and
non-conflict people can achieve less in life than active and
aggressive. Just need to make it clear to the child when and in what
situations of self-defense is necessary, and in what form to show it.

Before you teach your child self-confidence, figure it out
in how it is necessary.  Psychological practice
shows that the child’s softness and weakness are often unhappy
those parents who themselves could not resist in childhood
aggressors and offenders. Understand the situation: is there any sense
convince the child depending on the insults and physical protection, if he
just handed out all the toys in the sandbox, and he picks himself alone
with a spatula, or if in the process of an active game it is endlessly pushed.
Maybe your child just wants to share, or he doesn’t
fit active games.

If you decide that your child urgently needs
help and he needs to develop confidence, follow a few
to the rules.

1. Understand the atmosphere in the family.

Pay attention to the fact that you are not too often and
groundlessly punish your child. If you are infinitely showered
child reproaches his indecision and weakness, he can close
in oneself even more so as not to hear your reproaches. Child
may be afraid of the condemnation of parents and not telling that his

You do not need to constantly compare the kid with others, showing that
he is worse off. This will only spoil the self-esteem of the child and definitely not
solve problems.

Больше разговаривайте с  вашим ребенком, учитесь доверию и
openness together.

If in your family, on the contrary, they take care of the baby too much, they protect
from everything around, this may entail the development of timidity and
conflict-free. Child попусту не будет знать, как решать
conflict situations, and the aggressive attitude of other children of his
scare and surprise.

Love and kindness in the family is great, but limit
communication of the child due to possible aggressive antics of other children is not
worth it. Your child should know what to expect while in
peer companies.

2. Learn to admit own mistakes.

What does a child most often do if he has done something, even if
accidentally? Of course, run away, or say that he is not to blame. Learn
your child to recognize their actions, understand the behavior errors
and take responsibility for them. Explain that if no one
hurt, then everything is fixable. If the kid did something
specifically, let him know about the fallacy of the act and his
possible consequences.

When your child learns to accept his mistakes, he will
much more confident in himself, and in the future will be able to understand and
conflict situations. Explain that to dwell on such
little things are not worth it, and that in life there are grievances much more

3. Teach not to show reactions to verbal attempts.

From insults and false nicknames, no one is immune. AT
kindergarten and school may distort the name, try to humiliate and
оскорбить кличками  и дразнилками. Climb on the abuser with
fists – no way out. Explain to the child what is best
to do in such a situation – ignore offenders. Once
badass will see that they do not react to their aggression, they will cease
to bother the child.

Of course, this tactic is suitable for petty offenses, and not for
serious public humiliation.


4. Teach not to show fear.

On returning from school, the older guys threaten or take away
money – the situation is not new. Tell your child that no one
has rights, no matter who he is, to force him to do something against
will, threaten or even beat. Of course, the conflict is best resolved peaceful
by.  You need to get together and not show your fear, to lead
the conversation is clear and confident. If this does not help, then teach the child
defend yourself from physical attacks, show not too dangerous

If your child has decided to defend another, let it be
self-righteous and also does not demonstrate fear. Determination
easier to manifest when the fate of another person depends on it.
Tell the fuck that protecting the weak is a good thing.

5. Learn the true provocateur in person.


Watch the situation as far as real. ATыясните, не
Whether your child himself is a provocateur of aggression. ATозможно, именно
he bullies other children, and they react with cruelty. If it is true,
let the child know that it is his actions that cause negative
the reaction of others.

6. Teach to firmly refuse.

The manifestations of kindness and responsiveness are good. Need to make it clear
child when his kindness begins to be enjoyed, and when friendship and
partnerships escalate into manipulation. Give your lunch, in
damage yourself to do for another test, constantly carry a briefcase
– similar situations arise when a child is afraid that he is
will no longer communicate, or be called a greedy one, excluded from the environment and
etc. Explain to the child what real friendship is built on, what
really important to cherish. If a child is blackmailed, they are forced to
give money, teach him to firmly refuse, defending your

7. Give yourself to solve the problem.

Not worth it if there is a conflict involving your child
immediately run to school or garden, let the child decide for himself
the problem. ATедь полезность вашего вмешательства – вопрос спорный.
Offenders will be punished, but your child may begin to be considered a weakling.
and sneaky. Naturally, if we are talking about beatings, thefts and other
serious situations, then your intervention is necessary.

8. Help find friends.

If the child is constantly in conflict situations,
maybe he just talks to the wrong company. Not worth it
limit it to communicate with old friends, so as not to cause
internal protest, you just need to introduce him to other children.
Go together to visit, sign up for a circle or section. There
a child can meet new friends and get to know friendship
comparing. Calm children do not always become the object of aggression
others, even in the children’s team, respect the confident and
self-sufficient guys. ATажно попасть в хороший коллектив.

9. Teach accepting help.

Make sure your child is not ashamed of their failures,
develop confidence in him, let him feel your support.
Then he is not afraid and does not hesitate to ask for help from you and his
friends To accept help is not to seem weak. On the contrary
человек, внутренне ощущающий поддержку, способен постоять за myself и
not be afraid of difficulties.

10. Do sports.

It is not necessary to lead the child to fight or boxing with the hope that
He will give change in case of danger. Although these sports too
in their own good. Let the child be engaged in the kind that he
like. Any athletic load will strengthen both body and spirit, will develop
patience, and therefore, will add confidence.

As parents, remember that the most important reason for your
fuck that protecting one’s interests is not always related to violence.
To prove to the other that you are right, you do not need to constantly climb into
fight Who else but you, with your patience, care and understanding, can
develop a child’s confidence in themselves and their abilities.

Council of psychologist. Как помочь ребенку постоять за myself


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