Every person has personal space boundaries, but
at birth, the personal boundaries of parents are often “erased”.
How to make your child not to break them? Tips from a psychologist
Anna Smirnova will help you set your personal boundaries and protect
your space from children (sometimes it is important). If you always
it’s comfortable when dealing with children
okay, but if you feel discomfort you have to start them
Yielding to others, allowing them to neglect your personal
space, you cede your territory, constricting and breaking
their own borders, “advancing” on their throats. Personal violation
space causes protest, irritation, and sometimes anger. If a
but you also control your emotions with difficulty, then the violation
your boundaries can provoke a loss of energy, fatigue and
even illness. But before getting annoyed, try identifying
boundaries for themselves and declare their existence to others.
With the birth of a child, we are obliged to share our personal
space, but as the child grows and matures, he
it is necessary to allocate a separate territory. If a этого вовремя не
do then you may encounter problems similar to those described
in the comments of parents:
- �”I can not even calmly go to the toilet – the child begins
be naughty and demand that I be near! ”
- �“Immediately after the birth of my daughter, my personal life disappeared, because
now she is sleeping with me, and her husband is in another room on the couch. ”
- �“Adult children completely disregard me: they come to
a country house without warning, imposing its own rules there. ”
If a в детстве родители (или окружение) пренебрегали
вашими личными границами, то, скорей всего, вы и сами будете
poorly aware of how to build and protect their space. Have
you will also have problems raising children: you will
it’s harder to teach them to respect your boundaries.
Ten tips on how to teach your child to respect your personal
Finding a baby in the womb is the first and obvious violation.
personal boundaries of the mother. Occupying space inside the body, baby
gives mom a lot of inconvenience, and appearing in the house requires
even more attention and time. Now you need to share with him
territory, food, create baby safe conditions.
This path passed each of us. Parents give children life and
conditions, passing on their experience. It is natural
life process, but for some reason, many parents
face misunderstanding and pain.
Personal violation пространства неизбежно вызывает конфликты – до
as long as the parents do not realize the value of their borders and
will start to protect them.
Signs that your personal space was broken in
- your things could take advantage of anyone, and trying to defend
its called greed;
- you did not feel safe because you were
- your inner world has been devalued or ridiculed;
- your attempts to stand up for yourself were cut short in the categorical
That’s why as an adult you too will often suffer from
violation of their borders. You might even do something for yourself.
того, чтобы ваши личные boundaries практически перестали существовать.
The behavior of your child trying to defend his will be you
annoy and annoy.
However, you can learn to protect your inner world,
teach the child to defend their own and respect someone else’s space. how
is it done?
- First of all, you must be aware of the fact that being a parent is
means to be able to share your personal space with the child. And this
It’s great that we have the power to make a new life.
man, sharing with him his own values and coming into contact with
- Defend your space, noticing what it represents
value for you. You have to decide what you are ready for.
to share with the child, and that for him – a taboo. For example, choosing
joint sleep, you must realize that intimate relationships are
responsible adults, not children.
- Ambient must realize that your space cannot
violate. Protect what is important to you – for example, means
Personal hygiene should be kept away from children’s eyes. When you
need to spend more time working, your hobby or just
to be alone, you should be able to explain it to children and
the rest of the household.
- Take care also of the space of the child, helping him
so arranged that it is age appropriate. For example,
toys that seem old to you may be your favorite
- You must also value the space of all family members and
своём примере показывать ребёнку, что вы уважаете личные boundaries
households. If a отец запрещает трогать свой мобильный телефон,
means, and you should not allow a child to take it when dad is not
- Appreciate your body and care for it. Don’t let your
child to beat you even as a joke. Explain to him that you can only beat
inanimate items. Try to allocate time to rest every day –
the child should not be constantly in your arms.
- Explain to the children that they specifically hurt or
no one is allowed to treat their bodies disrespectfully.
Physical punishment is unacceptable due to the fact that
implementation of the child completely lost a sense of security and
forming an attitude towards oneself as an object that is not
- Learn your own inner world. Even if you are scared
look inside yourself, do it. Haveзнав, что для вас
the most valuable thing is, it will be much easier for you to bring this information
close to you and what kind of values you will become
defend first. For example, занимаясь рукоделием, вы
defend your right to have a hobby and allocate personal time to it.
Try to learn how to feel your own worth, as well as
broadcast it with your actions, thoughts and actions.
- Haveважайте мнение детей, их интересы и чувства. Listening to
teenager with respect and trying to understand what it is he
guided, preferring computer games to communication with
peers, taking his choice of style or music, you lose
problems with violation and your personal space.
- You should also teach your child to respect others. Some people
prefer to condemn and criticize in order to feel their value.
Remember: if you constantly criticize children, they will doubt
and in the value of your own inner world for you that
most likely, will provoke violation of your borders.
Guided by these tips, you can identify and follow
both their own and children’s space. And of course, subject to
personal boundaries do not forget about kindness and mercy, without slipping into
We also read:
- Mom’s personal space: 7 rules for psychological
- Mom’s personal space. wives, women: what is it for and
how to achieve it