Raising a child’s voice is often perceived as something
for granted: is it possible to somehow still make it
to obey and recognize parental authority? In general, all
they admit that shouting at a child is not very good, but it’s so
accustomed to abandon this method of education is not so
simply. Breaking into a cry, parents to stifle their feelings
guilt, find many excuses for such behavior: “he is guilty –
brought “, or” he still knows that I love him.
What is dangerous cry
In fact, the cry rather prevents parenting than helps. WITH
with every shout and coarse word, thin threads of affection burst
between parent and child. For a child angry screams of mom or dad
– a very traumatic situation, because at this moment the closest and
Beloved people become cold, angry, alienated.
Until a certain moment, the child is helpless before shouting.
adult but closer to adolescence a conversation on elevated
tones will no longer have such power over the child. Not out
that the child will begin to respond to parents with the same or just actively
resist such treatment. WITHамым серьёзным последствием
parenting cry is that the weakened affection of the child
to parents can not be for him a strong support in life. Such
children are more affected by other people, the family is not
perceived by them as a reliable rear. Often friends and company for
children become more important than parents, which means that parents
могут просто «упустить» своих children.
Another serious consequence of shouting is that
model of behavior is fixed in the mind of the child, and, becoming an adult,
he “on autopilot” will apply it to his children. it
means that the “relay” of spoiled parent-child relationships
will go further.
How not to scream at the child
Между тем, есть семьи, в которых на children не кричат. In these
families – the most ordinary, not ideal, and children and parents. They succeeded
eradicate the cry and find a different approach to their children. If you too
asking the question “how to stop shouting at the child” – these tips
will be helpful.
- Give yourself the right to make a mistake. Sometimes parents
afraid to admit that they are wrong in something, believing that this
will undermine their authority in the eyes of the child. Actually for a child
it is more important to have a number of “earthly” parents, with errors and mistakes,
rather than the “infallible deity.” Very important to the child himself.
acknowledge that you only learn to be a parent, and sometimes you are mistaken
and do wrong.
- A child is a mirror of parents. If we
we want the child to manage his emotions – first we
must learn to manage their own to become an example to him.
The key word here is “manage”: emotions cannot be crowded out,
�”Clamp”, they definitely need to give a way out, but in an acceptable
- Remember that a child does nothing “on
evil”. He still does not know how much, his movements are not clever, he
everything is interesting, that is why he can scatter toys, shed
milk, stain clothes, etc. Treat the child like a child
and constantly keep in your head the thought “what to get from him, he still
- Do not bring yourself to breakdown and nervous
exhaustion. If you feel that you are very tired and already “on
verge “- take time out. In such situations, you need to act as
in a plane crash: first of all we put on an oxygen mask
on themselves, only then – we are engaged in the child. itй «кислородной
Mask “can be a good rest – a warm bath, favorite book
or series, shopping or manicure. Everyone has their own
a way to make yourself enjoyable.
- Learn to stop when you feel strong.
irritation and anger. At this point it is best to switch
focus of attention from the child to yourself. As saying wonderful
psychologist Lyudmila Petranovskaya, you need to learn to take yourself not
hands, and “on the handles”, that is, just to sympathize with yourself, regret:
and so tired, and then there’s the child spilled something, now wipe
have to. And what is the demand from the child – it is still small. itт приём
It helps to stop in time and understand that the reason for the cry is
not the actions of the child, but your own weariness.
- Try to understand what the child feels when
they scream. In training for parents there is
exercise: one participant squats, and the other costs about
and he scolds him. A few minutes is enough to sit
burst into tears and felt a strong fear. Usually after that
Exercise parents are much less likely to raise the voice on the child. but
and without exercise you can try to understand the feelings of the child. Generally,
understanding the feelings and emotions of the child help him to understand himself
in their experiences and teach the child to regulate their
- In any situation, keep in touch with the child,
show respect to him. The child must feel
that even if mom gets angry, they don’t care “on one side
- Do not ignore your own feelings. �”Hygiene”
own feelings – a very rewarding occupation, because when Mama
can sort through, what, why and how did she react
cry, she learns to control these feelings. Sure to
to give an outlet to these feelings through tears, words, creativity or
- Come up with some kind of image or phrase that will be
help keep from screaming. You can associate yourself with
�”Big mother-elephant”, which is impossible to ruffle
childish pranks, or repeat some kind of mantra.
- Set your priorities correctly. Not
forget that education is, first of all, a relationship with
as a child. Children grow up, and, over time, educational functions
leave the lives of parents, there will be only a relationship, folding
for years. What will it be – warmth and intimacy or resentment and alienation –
It depends on the parents.
Recommended on topic:
- What should I do if I constantly scream at my
baby? – Read the simple advice here;
- Топ из 10 ошибок родителей в воспитании children
- How to tell a child “NOT”
- 25 tips on how to raise a child in love and
- How to react and deal with the whims of a child
Parents ready to make efforts to work on themselves and
refuse to scream in raising a child deserve
great respect. They are doing a great job, echoing
which will reach their grandchildren, and the next generations, because
a child growing up without screams, becoming a parent is unlikely to become
shout. Moreover, calm upbringing, however
парадоксально, делает children более послушными. Child is vital
it’s important to be close to “your” adult, and obedience is a thing
provided by nature. Looking for calm parents, baby and
he learns to cope with his emotions and regulate his
We read further:
- How to stop shouting at the child: expert advice
- The baby should not annoy!
WITHмотрим видео: Как научиться не кричать на
Shouted at the child … What to do?